The Marauders Potboilers
by Kikkiyoshi-Star
Summary: A collection of one-shots based around the Marauders. Mostly Sirius-centric. Rated T to be safe. Latest: Narcissa and Andromeda fight for love in their own ways.
1. Sick

Remus walked slowly back to the dorm. He had stopped by the Hospital Wing only so Madam Pomphrey could officially get him out of classes. He had woken up with a sore throat and a runny nose, but he missed enough class as it was so he figured he'd just suffer through it. Not even ten minutes into breakfast and he decided it wasn't worth it and left, asking James and Peter to take notes for him.

He quietly opened the door hoping not to disturb the other occupant of the room. Sirius still laid there dead to the world, his face flushed. He had fallen sick a few days before. Though it took him longer to admit it. Remus noticed that Sirius' blankets were now pooled around his ankles and went over to tuck them around him once more. Didn't need him getting worse.

It had been very interesting, Remus mused as he changed back into his pajamas and slipped into bed. He had thought that when Sirius got sick he might be like James who was very over dramatic about the whole thing, but that wasn't the case at all. They hadn't noticed that there was something wrong at first. Sure Sirius had been a little bit quieter than usual, but that happened on occasion after a letter from home, which he had received that morning. So they let him be, for the most part, James trying and seemingly failing to distract him. It wasn't until that night, when he and Sirius had been playing Wizard's Chess, that Remus had started to notice that something was off.

Sirius was the only one who could match Remus in skill, strategy, and patience when it came to the game. Peter just didn't have the mind for it and while James could be good, he didn't have the patience. Usually, Sirius could give Remus an actual challenge. Though he had been sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius still had the cunning and ruthlessness of a Slytherin. But that night Sirius lacked the focus he usually had for the game.

After the third time that Remus needed to remind Sirius that it was his turn and another horrible play Remus finally asked, "Are you alright, Sirius?"

"Hmm, what?" Sirius looked like he had been pulled out of some other world and just plopped in theirs.

"Are you alright?" Remus repeated, more concerned now. James looked up from where he and Peter were looking over their Chocolate Frog cards.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm good." Sirius ran his hand through his hair and seemed to lose focus once more.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sirius said again, quieter this time.

It was then that Remus really looked and took in his pale face, and the slightly glossy look in his eyes, and the dark circles that were starting to form under them. "Uh-huh," he doubted.

"You look a bit pale, Mate," James had piped in at that moment.

"I'm just tired, that's all," Sirius admitted.

"Hmm, maybe you should head up to bed then," Remus suggested. "We can finish this game tomorrow, yeah?"

Sirius didn't even argue. "Yeah sure."

James and Remus exchanged glances but didn't talk about Sirius' behavior for the rest of the night. When they finally went to their dorm Sirius was dead to the world, huddled under multiple blankets. The next day, however, Sirius didn't look any better, he looked worse. At breakfast, he just pushed his food around his plate listlessly. Both James and Remus had suggested the second year just skip classes and go back to bed, but Sirius refused and so they went to Transfiguration.

It was so obvious that Sirius wasn't paying attention that Remus was surprised when Professor McGonagall didn't immediately call him out on it. Instead, she left the four of them alone, only occasionally calling on Remus or James to answer a question. At some point, Sirius rest his head on the desk. James kept looking at him with concern. Remus figured they were thinking along the same lines. Sirius needed to go to the Hospital Wing, or at least back to the dorm.

Once they got to the practical part of the class, McGonagall came over to them. "Are you feeling alright Mr. Black?"

Sirius lifted his head looking confused for a second as to where he was. "Wha..? Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine." He shook his head as if trying the clear it.

"Hmm," she placed her hand on the boy's forehead and Sirius froze. If Remus had learned anything about Sirius it was that he did not like to be touched. Ever. Remus had his suspicions as to why this was but he never voiced them. Not really his place. But they had learned that fact very quickly, because of James.

James wasn't a cuddler or anything extreme but a hug here or a hand on your shoulder there was normal for him. And Sirius had hated it. In the beginning, Sirius would tense up immediately if someone just accidentally brushed against him. Being in his rather large space bubble was reason enough for him to glare at you. While the three of them were allowed closer than most Sirius still kept them at a distance.

Remus noticed and respected that right away. Peter was not so secretly terrified of Sirius, due to an incident with some seventh years, and didn't want to get too close to him anyways. James either didn't notice the signs (which was likely) or ignored them (also likely). James just kept pushing Sirius's boundaries more and more. Then one day Sirius yelled at James and stormed off. Remus became mediator for the two for the night. Which meant that he went and talked to them separately to tell them they needed to work this out and try to get them to see the other person's point of view, and then passed "messages" between them for the rest of the night because they wouldn't talk to each other.

Something (Remus wasn't sure what but he had a guess) happened between that night and the next morning and then the two of them were fine. James didn't stop invading Sirius' space, but Remus did notice that it was less and at most, it was a 2 second half hug. Occasionally James lingered longer, to see if he could get away with it, but if he didn't let go before 5 seconds Sirius would shove him off, and glare.

But teachers were an entirely different matter. It was one thing to glare and yell if fellow students didn't back off, but teachers? Not much Sirius could do there that wouldn't get him into trouble. And though he and James enjoyed pulling pranks, they didn't actually want to antagonize the teachers. In James's words they "would like to actually survive their seven years of school." So he just sat there, tensed as if ready to bolt at a moment's notice, but not daring to move, until McGonagall removed her hand 10 seconds later. She was silent for a moment contemplating the boy in front of her.

"Mr. Potter," James's head shot up, "Please escort Mr. Black to the Hospital Wing."

"But..!" Sirius started to protest but was stopped by a look from the Professor. "Yes, ma'am." With that James and Sirius left and Remus didn't see them again until he and Peter went back to the room to retrieve some books after lunch. Sirius had been buried under his mountain of blankets again, while James had decided to be productive for once and work on some homework. James opted to stay with Sirius the rest of the day, so Remus and Peter had gotten both boys' assignments for them.

According to James Sirius had slept most of the day, and didn't ask them to get him anything when he was awake. Sirius tried to get up this morning but had become dizzy, and James insisted that he stay in bed. Sirius protested until Peter mentioned that they could always just take Sirius to the Hospital Wing. Both James and Remus had looked at the boy in shock, but it was Sirius that made Peter squirm. If looks could kill, Peter would have been fried a hundred times over by the glare that Sirius gave him.

Remus laughed quietly to himself, burying his face into the pillow. He clutched the old stuffed rabbit close to his chest and breathed in the familiar scent of the dorms and the toy as he fell asleep.

He was awakened a couple of hours later by the sound of a toilet flushing and then running water. He closed his eyes after the water stopped and tried and failed to fall back asleep. After a while, he opened his eyes again, because of a realization. There had been no footsteps. It had been almost 10 minutes since the water stopped.

He got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, double checking to make sure Sirius's bed was empty. Knocking on the door he called out, "Sirius? You ok in there?" A moan was his only response. "I'm coming in."

He opened the door to see Sirius sitting against a wall with his head bowed. His hands were resting loosely on his knees which were curled into him. Remus crouched in front of him. "Sirius?"

"I'm ok. Just waiting for the room to stop spinning," Sirius moaned letting his head fall onto his arms completely.

"Come on," Remus said softly, "Let's get you back to bed." He gently helped the other boy up and lead him to the bed. He didn't mention the fact that Sirius was mostly leaning on him when the dark haired boy inserted feebly that he could walk. Sirius let himself fall into the bed and didn't move while Remus tucked the mound of blankets around him once more.

"Why are you here?" Sirius asked.

"Bad cold," Remus answered. "Decided school wasn't worth it."

"You're dying aren't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You're skipping school."

Remus laughed. "Well, that's a lame ending. Werewolf took down by a cold. The tragedy." Sirius laughed quietly. "Do you need anything else?" Remus offered.

Sirius gave him a strange look. "Why do you guys do that?"

"Do what?"

"Ask if I need anything. James was doing it too."

"Well, you're sick…" Remus started to explain.

"So are you," Sirius protested.

"Yeah, but I can actually walk to my bed from the bathroom," Remus countered. Sirius scowled. "Anyways we just want to make sure you get better by taking care of you, that's all." He ignored the nagging worry in his chest that Sirius even felt the need to question their care.

Sirius was quiet for a bit, so Remus sat on his bed and made himself comfortable. Sirius would talk when he was ready. Remus didn't have to wait much longer. "Why?"

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What did his family do to him? "Because that's what people do Sirius."

"No, they don't."

"Sirius," Remus paused almost deciding not to ask, but his curiosity got the better of him. "When you're sick at home, what happens?"

Sirius was quiet again, gathering his thoughts. "We had a lot of lessons during the day, memorizing books, learning basic spells and theory, different languages, etiquette, things like that. When we got sick we were expected to just continue on and try to act like we didn't feel like we were dying," Sirius admitted. "Mother and Father would usually let us go to bed early those nights and sleep in a little, but that was it." Sirius shrugged.

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That explained it. If Sirius was raised to not take it easy when he was sick, why would he do so now? He wondered briefly what they were supposed to do when they literally couldn't stand without falling over but decided he didn't want to know. He opened his eyes again to see Sirius contemplating him. "I see," Remus whispered.

"What about you?"

"Well," Remus almost didn't want to tell him, but Sirius needed to understand. "Usually I would sleep on the couch in the living room. Mum said it was so she could keep an eye on me. And Mum would be constantly fussing and taking my temperature and stuff. She worried a lot cause of... Well, you know." Sirius smiled slightly. "Anyways, Mum always made soup. Chicken noodle. Only she would leave the meat more raw than she usually does."

"Why?"

"When I don't feel good I prefer my meat raw," Remus shrugged.

"Ah. Werewolf thing?"

"Werewolf thing. I like things raw or at least rare normally but Mum's gotta cook for all of us, and I'll eat the meat regardless. Anyways I usually just slept and watched movies all day."

"Movies?"

"Like the wizard pictures, except they tell a whole story, and they have music and different places and stuff," Remus explained. "And it's the same story every time."

"Oh. Weird."

"I guess. Anyways, Mum never lets me watch a lot of the telly," Sirius raised an eyebrow in question. "That's what you watch the movies on. So it was always nice to just watch them." Remus smiled suddenly at a memory. "There was this one time when my dad got sick too, so I got to sleep in his bed and we played games, and talked. And Mum came in and told us all kinds of stories. It was a good day."

"That sounds nice," Sirius admitted. Remus watched him for a moment feeling sorry for him. This lonely boy whose family was neglectful at best. He really didn't understand what it was like to have people care for you when you were sick. He got up and grabbed his pillow, blanket, and rabbit, and came back over. "What are you doing?" Sirius asked.

"Well, we're both sick. And when we're not sleeping, we'll probably be talking. So we might as well share a bed," Remus offered. Sirius stared for a moment then shrugged and moved over so Remus would have room. Remus laid down and adjusted his pillow and blanket for maximum comfort. "I think you're bed's softer than mine."

"Cushioning charm," Sirius admitted.

"Hmm. Seems excessive, but I can't argue with the results," Remus closed his eyes.

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"What is that?"

Remus opened his eyes and looked at his stuffed rabbit that Sirius was pointing at. "Oh, this is my stuffed rabbit. I've, um, had him since I was a kid. Please don't tell James."

"Why?"

Remus held up the rabbit. "This is the kind of stuff normal people get mocked for."

"Well, then it's a good thing none of us are normal," Sirius joked. "So is there a point to the rabbit?"

"Not really. It's just, sort of like, a comfort you know? Makes me feel safe, and reminds me of happy memories."

"Hmm, guess that makes sense," Sirius nodded.

"Plus my Mum made it for me. It's based on a character from one of my favorite books as a kid."

"What book?"

"It's called _The Velveteen Rabbit."_

"Never heard of it," Sirius admitted.

"I'm not surprised. It's a muggle book."

"Oh. What's it about?"

"Well, there's this little boy, and he gets this stuffed rabbit. The rabbit eventually becomes his favorite toy and because of that he becomes real, or what he understands real to be," Remus explained.

"So the boy uses magic?"

"Um no. How about I start from the beginning?"

"No, start from the end crazy!" Sirius teased. Remus laughed, and then launched into the story about toys, and love, and what it means to be real.

James walked into the room quietly to check on his friends and was surprised at the sight. They were in the same bed, with their own blankets and pillows. But they were curled up close to each other, almost cuddling. James shook his head fondly, wondering when those two would realize that they both just craved feeling loved.


	2. The Sorting

Sirius started up at the castle that would be his home for the next 7 years. It was large and intimidating on this dark night. The clouds surrounding it looked ready to burst with freezing rain. He should be excited for this. He was at Hogwarts, away from his parents. He was free.

At least until he put the blasted hat on and it would cry out that he belonged in Slytherin. Bellatrix had lied to him once saying that you had to face some terrible beast but Andy had taken him aside later and told him the truth. It was just an old talking hat. Blasted thing was going to ruin his life.

He looked over at the bespeckled boy sitting beside him. James looked ecstatic. Of course, he was. He wasn't going to be surrounded by the most evil people on the planet. Not that all Slytherins were evil. But he was a Black, he knew where he'd go.

The giant of a man (maybe he was half giant?) lead them inside the school and into a large room. There was a formidable looking woman standing there. Her dark hair was starting to gray and was pulled back into a fierce looking bun. Sirius couldn't help but be reminded of his own mother.

"Welcome students," she began, "To Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor and your Transfiguration teacher. In a few moments, you will be brought into the Great Hall and sorted into your houses. The Houses are Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. These houses will be your homes and the people within them your family."

Sirius tuned out the rest of the woman's speech. Family? He didn't need another family. He already had one, and that was bad enough. He felt a nudge and glanced over at James who gave him a smile. He forced himself to smile back. James was… Strange.

James certainly had the aura of someone who grew up in a strong pureblooded family, proud, a little arrogant and stubborn as a hippogriff. But he also had kindness in his eyes and that was something Sirius rarely saw from his own family. Andy, Reggie, and Uncle Alph had it, but no one else. Well, Narcissa wasn't bad, but she was boring. Always going on about hair and nails and boys and clothes and all sorts of useless girly things. What was the point of it all?

He followed the students in front of him into the Great Hall, which was aptly named. It was the first room he had ever been in that felt cozy. Despite its size, the room felt very warm. Probably because of all the people. He looked up at the Headmaster and drank in his first real look at the "incompetent, old, muggle loving fool." Though his father had used much stronger words. He didn't look that bad and the man had a nice twinkle in his eye. The Headmaster looked at him and winked which Sirius was surprised at. He looked away and focused on the ratty old hat that had started singing.

"A thousand years or more ago  
When I was newly sewn,  
There lived four wizards of renown,  
Whose names are still well known:

Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor,  
Fair Ravenclaw, from glen,  
Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,  
Shrewd Slytherin, from fen.

They shared a wish, a hope, a dream,  
They hatched a daring plan  
To educate young sorcerers  
Thus Hogwarts School began.

Now each of these four founders  
Formed their own house, for each  
Did value different virtues  
In the ones they had to teach.

By Gryffindor, the bravest were  
Prized far beyond the rest;  
For Ravenclaw, the cleverest  
Would always be the best;

For Hufflepuff, hard workers were  
Most worthy of admission;  
And power-hungry Slytherin  
Loved those of great ambition.

While still alive they did divide  
Their favourites from the throng,  
Yet how to pick the worthy ones  
When they were dead and gone?

Twas Gryffindor who found the way,  
He whipped me off his head  
The founders put some brains in me  
So I could choose instead!

Now slip me snug about your ears,  
I've never yet been wrong,  
I'll have a look inside your mind  
And tell where you belong!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Never yet been wrong?' he doubted that. Everyone was wrong at some point. They had to be.

McGonagall now had some parchment in her hand and was reading off of it.

"Adams, Michael," She called out. Sirius watched as a very scared boy with dirty blond hair walked up and McGonagall placed the hat on his head.

The hat took only a moment before crying out "Hufflepuff!" The table cheered as their newest housemate made his way over looking relieved.

"Adrien, David."

"Hufflepuff!"

"Two in a row for the wimpy?" Sirius heard Avery hiss from behind him.

"They need all the help they can get," someone hissed back.

"Avery, Callen," McGonagall read.

Avery was a dark haired boy and one that Sirius had grown up with. Sirius knew that his mother was considering having Sirius marry Avey's younger sister, which Sirius had been protesting as the girl was 6 at the moment. It was disgusting. Besides that, he hated Avery. Avery had locked Regulus in a cellar once, and Sirius had never forgiven him for that.

"Slytherin!" Was called out immediately. Fitting. Their 'cheers' were much quieter and more restrained than the Hufflepuffs.

"Black, Sirius," he heard his name. He didn't dare look at James who would be horrified he was sure. So much for that friendship. All well, Sirius knew it would never last anyways. Unfortunately. James was the first person that Sirius had actually enjoyed talking to. Aside from Regulus, Andy, and uncle Alph of course. Sirius caught sight of his cousins right before that hat was placed over his head.

"Another Black, ay?" Sirius heard a voice in his ear. "Interesting though. You're not quite like the rest of them." What was that suppose to mean? "Very cunning yes, resourceful, and there is definitely ambition. But also loyalty, courage, very creative. Chivalry is in there too isn't it? Not like the rest indeed."

"We all know how this ends," Sirius muttered under his breath. "Would you just put me in Slytherin already?"

"Is that where you want to go?" The hat asked.

Sirius was surprised. Where he wanted to go? No, he didn't want to be in Slytherin. That's where his family was. Slytherin would cement the chains that were already so tight around him. But he was the heir to the Black family. One of the wealthiest and most powerful families in the wizarding world. He didn't have a choice. He never had a choice. He felt the Goblin made ring that his Grandfather had given him. He was the heir. He was to do what he was told. And he was told to go to Slytherin.

"But you don't have to," the hat argued. "Besides I can see in your head and the only one in that house you get along with is Andromeda, and between you and me she and I had this same conversation. I told her Hufflepuff but she insisted on Slytherin. For her family's sake."

"That's just what families do," Sirius thought weakly.

"There is more than one definition of family boy," The hat explained. "But if you insist I will place you in Slytherin but know this. If I place you in Slytherin, you will eventually break and become what your family wants."

But Sirius didn't want that! He didn't hate muggles, he didn't get why it mattered how pure your blood was, he didn't want to treat his own future children the way his parents treated him.

"It's your choice. What will it be? Who do you want to be?"

That was easy. He wanted to be James. This bright boy, with so much light and happiness. He wanted that. "I don't want to be like my family."

"I thought so. Better be…" the hat's voice left his ear and called out to the room, "GRYFFINDOR!"

One thought crossed his mind. "They are going to kill me!"

* * *

"Black, Sirius."

Black, what now? James' head whipped to stare at the boy beside him, who refused to meet his gaze. A Black?

"My whole family have been in Slytherin."

Oh, now that made sense. They were Blacks. Purebloods in the worst way. He had heard horror stories from his Aunt Dorea. Poor bloke. James really had thought that he was alright. But if he was a Slytherin then James was sure they couldn't be friends. After all, James was going to be a Gryffindor.

He started the fidget. What was taking the hat so long? He was a Black, send him to the snake pit where he belonged. But what if he didn't belong there?

Of course, he does, James argued with himself. Sirius is a Black and Blacks are Slytherins. Everyone knew that.

But so was Aunt Dorea, and she was good.

That's not the point.

People around him began to murmur. What was taking so long? He was a Black. Everyone knew where he was going to go.

Finally, the hat spoke. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Silence reigned. No one cheered, no one even breathed. Gryffindor? James wondered. Gryffindor? Slowly a low buzzing started. As it got louder, James realized everyone around him had started echoing his thoughts.

"Gryffindor?"

"A Black in Gryffindor?"

"There must be some mistake!"

"He's a Slytherin though, right? That's where they all go."

"Why Gryffindor?"

"Something's wrong with the hat."

"Gryffindor?"

"That's impossible!"

"This is absurd!"

"Why is everyone so upset?" James turned to see the red-head and the greasy haired boy from earlier. They both looked confused but for different reasons.

"He's a Black," Snivellus explained. "Blacks are always in Slytherin."

"Why?"

"That's just where they belong. They aren't the best people. They hate muggles and muggle-borns. I heard one of the Blacks tried to make muggle hunting legal."

"That's horrible!"

James looked back to Sirius and was surprised at what he saw. The boy looked terrified. Suddenly, James recognized another sound that had merged with the buzzing. Hissing. Both he and Sirius looked over to the Slytherin table. They were hissing! What was wrong with them? James caught sight of one particularly nasty looking Slytherin. She wasn't ugly, in fact, she was quite beautiful with her wild dark hair. But the look on her face was ready to kill everyone, James was sure. Next to her, a similar looking girl looked ready to cry.

"SILENCE!" James jumped and looked to see that Dumbledore had reason to his feet. "That is enough." His expression softened as he turned to look at Sirius, "Mr. Black, if you would please join your house." Sirius nodded and got to is feet. He didn't look at anyone as he joined the Gryffindor table. "Professor McGonagall, please continue with the sorting."

"Of course." The Professor looked rattled, to say the least. "Brown, Alice," She called and the sorting continued. James turned to look at Sirius, who was isolated, wither that was of his own doing James wasn't sure. Gryffindor?

"Blimey, and I thought you seemed alright."

"Maybe I'll break the tradition."

And he did. Maybe he would be ok?

James didn't really pay attention to much of the rest of the sorting. He lazily noted that the redhead got into Gryffindor. He watched as she went to the table, Sirius offered her a spot and she rejected him. He also noted how Sirius' face fell. Maybe he was different from his family? Another boy, who honestly looked sick sat next to Sirius and James found himself feeling oddly grateful. Name after name was called. The hat took 6 minutes on one of the boys ahead of him before placing the rather chubby boy in Gryffindor.

"Potter, James!"

James still wasn't really paying attention as he placed the hat on. Sirius Black? Was he dangerous or a potential friend? He really did seem all right.

"You two would get along well," He heard the voice of the hat say. "There's a few boys who may need your help. Look outside yourself and prove you are a Gryffindor. The next 7 years are yours for the taking boy." Then he called to the rest of the school, "GRYFFINDOR!"

James looked at the table. There was Sirius, along with the sick kid, and the hat stall kid. They would be the weirdest looking bunch of boys ever. But maybe it was for the best. Maybe they would be unstoppable.

He smiled as he sat on the other side of Sirius. "You broke the tradition, mate."

Sirius looked up at him surprised. After a beat or two of silence, he allowed a hesitant smile. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Sirius deserved a chance. James was sure of it. His choice would be cemented the next day while the howler was yelling at his friend but for now, James was willing to take a chance on this dark haired boy who was from the snake pit.


	3. The Mystery that is Hugs

To say that Remus had expected something like this to happen would be an understatement. The fact of the matter was that he was surprised it had taken this long. James, for whatever reason, was overly affectionate. He was like some lost puppy. Sirius wasn't. He flinched away from everyone's touch, including James's. This did not deter James in the slightest.

When James had initially started the R.H.A.s (Random Hug Attacks) back in October, Sirius would just shrug them off. (Actually, on the first one he elbowed James in the gut. Knocked the wind out of him.) He had seemed to be trying to hint that he didn't want them. James didn't get the hint. So after a while, Sirius started to shove him off. This only seemed to make James more determined to hug the boy. Which caused Sirius to shove James off more violently. Repeat cycle.

Remus had just waiting for the inevitable fall out, whilst enduring his own R.H.A.s. (They weren't that bad. His Mum's hugs were better but that was beside the point.) That day had started like any other. They all got up and went down to breakfast, discussing the upcoming Christmas Holiday. Then Sirius got a letter from his family. After which the young boy seemed to be in a permanent bad mood. Remus was perfectly happy to let Sirius be, as was Peter. But James was determined to cheer Sirius up. The day was a bit of a disaster.

That night in the Common Room, Remus pulled out James' wizard chess set, challenging Peter to around to pass the time while James was in detention. Sirius called playing winner, which was Remus. James didn't get back until midway through Remus' and Sirius' round and seemed to decide that that was a great time for an R.H.A. Remus saw the explosion coming from a mile away.

"Would you knock it off?!" Sirius cried out, shoving James off.

"What'd I do?" James asked.

"The stupid R.H.A.s! No one likes them, James!" Sirius was standing now glaring at James.

"The what?" James blinked.

"Random Hug Attacks," Peter supplied.

James scoffed, "They're not attacks! They're just hugs."

"Whatever you want to call them, they need to stop," Sirius growled. Hmm, maybe Sirius was the puppy.

"Why?" James crossed his arms.

"Because no one likes them!"

"I don't hear Remus or Peter complaining."

Before Remus could answer, Sirius did. "That's because they're too nice to, git."

"They can speak for themselves, tosser!"

"Is everything alright over here?" Gideon Prewett asked. His brother, Fabian, was standing right behind him. Remus looked and noticed that the whole room was staring at them.

"We're fine," Sirius hissed. He then turned and walked out of the common room.

James glared at the floor.

"Seriously, Is everything ok?" Fabian asked.

Remus sighed. "It'll well be. Thanks."

The twins nodded, then turned back to the room. "Ok folks, show's over."

Remus smiled. Thank goodness for those two. He turned to Peter. "How about you go talk to the other first year boys? I'll take care of these two." Peter nodded and left. Remus looked back at James and sighed once more. This was going to be a long night.

James was not actually a very touchy feely guy. He was an 11-year-old boy for crying out loud. Almost 12. He only basked in his parents' open affection at home. In public he shunned it. Not that it did much good. He supposed that was just something that came with age. There was only one reason he initiated all those hugs and other touchy feely things. Well, actually two. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

It was incredibly obvious that those two lacked a sense of love that only came through human contact. With Sirius it was obvious. He always seemed ready to hex someone who got too close. Remus was more subtle about it. Either way, James picked up on it. So he just started to make sure those two got that contact. Of course, he included Peter as well. More so the boy didn't feel left out.

Neither Remus nor Sirius seemed comfortable with it at first. Remus ended up giving in quickly and allowing the hugs. Even returning them at times. Sirius, on the other hand, tensed up. Every. Single. Time! And James couldn't get him to stop. What was worse, Sirius would always manage to push James off. It had been getting on his nerves.

Then today Sirius yelled at him. _Yelled at him_. As if he was doing something completely wrong and unnatural. He didn't get it. Of course, Remus lectured him on trying to understand Sirius's perspective and that some people just wanted more space than others. Which was fine, he could understand that. But Sirius didn't tell him that, Remus did. So he wasn't going to accept that reasoning. Besides Sirius needed something.

The only reason James had even noticed was because of the way Sirius would look at people who were showing some sort of affection to each other. It was a look of complete confusion. Like as if it was some great mystery as to why people would want to hug, or kiss, or hold hands or anything. (Remus just looked at it longingly. As if it was something he could never have.)

After that, James noticed Sirius's complete aversion to touch. And the way he would only completely relax when there was nobody around but the four of them. So James had to do something about it. But Sirius didn't appreciate all his hard work. Fine, that was his loss.

James rolled over again, trying to fall asleep but he was just too upset. He hated fighting with Sirius. Meeting Sirius was like meeting his other half. So what if they came from different backgrounds? So what if Sirius's family would probably hate him? He thought Sirius was the greatest and he wanted them to stay friends. It hurt when they were fighting. But he wasn't going to apologize because it wasn't his fault.

James was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't hear the footsteps walking out of the room. By the time he looked through his curtains to check the person was closing the door. He looked at the three other beds and noticed that only one had the curtains open. Sirius. Well, he couldn't just let his best friend wander the halls alone, fight or no fight.

He put his slippers and a jumper on and snuck out. It took him a bit to find Sirius but he finally remembered Remus mentioning Sirius going to the Astronomy Tower before. So he checked there and viola, he found his friend sitting on the ledge watching the stars. He stood there for a moment unsure of how to proceed. Then Sirius spoke up.

"What do you want, Potter?"

Yikes. He hadn't realized Sirius was that mad. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Remus would have said something already, Peter's too scared of me to even follow, and if you were a teacher I'd be getting lectured right now. Logical choice."

"Ah." James stood there awkwardly for a moment. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Oh, I don't know. That fact that you overreacted to a simple hug?!" He didn't mean to yell, but this was just bothering him so much.

"Overreacted? Overreacted?" Sirius turned one of his worse glares on James. "I overreacted?"

"Yes, you did," James declared definitely.

"You wouldn't stop!"

"You never asked!"

"Would you have stopped if I'd asked?!"

James thought about it. "Probably not," he admitted.

"So why bother asking?"

"Cause then I could ask you why, you dolt!"

Sirius looked surprised. "What?"

James sighed. "If you had asked me to stop I would have asked why and then we could have just talked about it instead of yelling at each other."

Sirius turned away. "I don't wanna talk about it."

James threw his hands up. "Then I'm not going to stop until you do."

"Stop it, James!"

"No! You need to talk about it if it's bothering you so much!"

"I don't want.."

"I! DON'T! CARE! I'm not stopping!"

"James..!"

"Not until you just tell me..!"

"BECAUSE IT'LL HURT! ALRIGHT?!"

"What?" James froze. Of all the answers, this was not the one he was expecting. He was shocked to see that Sirius was shaking. "What do you mean?"

"When people touch you it's to hurt you or to control you," Sirius said quietly. "And I don't want to be hurt. Not here, not at Hogwarts."

James was quiet for a long while, taking it in. Hugs didn't hurt. Throwing your arm over someone's shoulder didn't hurt. So what was Sirius talking about? The realization hit him like a ton of bludgers. A slap hurt. When someone hits you or kicks you it hurt. Grabbing someone by their hair hurt. Oh Merlin. He looked at his friend, finally understanding.

"Sirius? Do they hit you at home?"

"Only when I'm bad," Sirius admitted quietly.

James walked over and placed a hand gently on Sirius's shoulder. For the first time, he noticed that Sirius didn't just tense up but actually flinched pulled his hand back.

"I didn't want to hurt you," James said. "That wasn't the point." Sirius looked at him confused. James sighed sitting beside the other boy but facing the inside of the tower. "Growing up my parents would hug me or put their hand on my shoulder or pull me close all the time. But it wasn't to try to hurt or control me. It was to show that they cared."

"They… What?" Sirius looked down towards the grounds.

James shrugged. "That was the point, to feel loved. To feel like… Like when they had their arms around me, nothing could ever get me. I was safe. That's what a hug is supposed to do."

"Safe?" Sirius looked so confused.

James flipped his legs over the edge so that he was facing the same way as the other boy. He just watched for a moment while Sirius tried to comprehend. James sighed. "Sirius, I'm going to hug you right now and I promise it won't hurt."

"Wait? What?!" But before Sirius could even think of trying to get away James's arms trapped him. Immediately he started to struggle. "Let go."

"No. Now calm down and stop struggling," James ordered. Sirius struggled for another minute before he gave up. But he continued to be tense, not able to convince himself that it wouldn't hurt. "It's ok. I solemnly swear on Godric Gryffindor's' grave that I won't hurt you." And with those words Sirius finally forced himself to relax.

Then he started to unconsciously lean into the hug. "This isn't so bad," Sirius admitted.

James smirked. "How do you feel?"

Sirius contemplated this. "Warm. Kind of… Fuzzy?"

James laughed. "It's called feeling loved."

"Loved," Sirius was quiet for a moment. "I feel safe, too."

"Of course you do. Cause I've got you."

"Hmm," Sirius looked out at the grounds once more. "I can't promise to go along with the hugs. I'm kind of used to reacting in a certain way."

"Yeah, I know," James smiled. "And I get it now. But I'm not gonna stop."

"Why?"

"Cause I think everyone needs to feel safe every now and then."

Sirius thought about it. "Maybe just occasional hugs?" Sirius tried to compromise.

"I can do that. Maybe I'll just do quick half hugs," James offered.

"Ok," Sirius agreed. "But if they're too long I will not be responsible for my actions."

"Fair enough," James agreed. "But when I feel like you really need it I will give you a full hug until you feel safe again."

"I won't need it," Sirius said.

"Yeah, you will."

They sat there in silence watching the grounds.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"You can let go now."


	4. Revalations

Quick Note: This one is sort. The idea just popped into my head and it needed to happen. I will hopefully have a longer chapter soon. And because I keep forgetting, I don't own Harry Potter or any of its properties.

If you had asked Lily in sixth year if there was anything that would surprise her about the Marauders, she would have said no. She was sure that she had them all figured out. As seventh year progressed, however, she learned many surprising things.

She learned that Remus was a Werewolf.

She really should have figured that out sooner. But of all the people to suspect, Remus was the last on her list. Even despite the fact that Snape had told her multiple times that he was. Maybe even because of that. She had, of course, read about the horrors of Werewolves in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but none of that seemed to match the kind boy that she had come to know.

Remus wasn't a monster. No matter what she didn't know about his condition, she was sure of that. So she accepted it, and never let it taint her view of her first Marauder friend.

She learned that Peter was an artist.

Of all the talents he could possess she was surprised by this one. Peter was quiet, he mostly kept to himself, and didn't really seem remarkable. But, oh, how he loved to draw. He was good at it too. Lily kept a picture of a unicorn that he'd drawn for her for Christmas by her bed and all of her roommates were jealous of it. He had also apparently drawn a map of the school that the boys had been very proud of. Unfortunately, they had lost it to Flitch, but that didn't matter. They all still loved that map.

She joined in their encouragement of Peter's skill. She loved that she could help the poor boy's confidence in that small way.

She learned that Sirius was a virgin.

That really shocked her. Like the rest of the school, she simply assumed that Sirius Black slept around. He'd been seen with enough girls and even some guys. She knew plenty of people that he had snogged senseless but apparently that was as far as they all went. Of all the pureblooded teachings he could have chosen to embrace, he held firmly to the idea of monogamy, and fidelity.

He had also informed her that it was the chivalrous thing to do. She had seen a grand new side of him that day. One that she hope never left.

She learned that James was furiously, and perfectly loyal.

He became an Animagus for Remus. He always listened when Peter needed to vent about his father, who had left them. He took Sirius in when his own family wouldn't. He secretly took down some Slytherins that had been hassling Regulus, despite the fact that the Black brothers were not talking. Anyone who said anything against McGonagall would wake up to some sort of Transfiguration themed prank (usually involving their undergarments). He went to the Slug Parties with her despite the fact that Sirius teased him relentlessly about it because she liked to go.

James Potter was the most loyal friend anyone could ever ask for. And she loves him for it.

She loved all of her boys really. The Marauders were hers. And she, well, she was proud to be their girl.


	5. To Care for a Brother Part 1

He was too hot. He could feel his skin burning but he sat at the table, his posture perfect just the same. He chanced a glance at his older brother who was slouching slightly. He resisted rolling his eyes and looked back down at the eggs and smoked salmon breakfast that Kreacher worked so hard on. Normally he would have eaten it all by now but today his stomach protested against the very thought.

"Regulus, are you listening?"

Regulus' head snapped up. "Yes, Mother?"

She raised a thin perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Are you feeling alright?"

Regulus noted that Sirius glanced his way, eyes alight with curiosity. He probably just wanted a distraction from the food as Sirius never liked fish.

"I'm fine, Mother," Regulus reassured her.

Walburga nodded. "Very well. As I was saying the Greengrass family will be arriving today and I expect both of you to be on your best behavior." She glared at Sirius who was currently using his food to make some sort of art piece. Probably Muggle inspired. "Sirius!" She hissed.

Sirius let out a long suffering sigh. " Mother, there is really no point in hassling me about eating this garbage, as I won't."

Regulus glared. "It's not garbage."

Sirius raised an eyebrow but refrained from commenting on Regulus' own untouched plate.

"As for this meeting today," Sirius continued, " I have already met both of the Greengrass children. The son is likely to hex me as soon as look at me and the daughter is quite boring."

"Sirius." Despite the calm way in which he was addressed, or perhaps because of it, Sirius tensed. Everyone turned to look at the head of the house. "Regardless of any negative past interactions with the Greengrass family, you are expected to uphold the family name. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Father."

"Despite your faults, you are the heir to this family. It's time you act like it."

"I understand, Father," Sirius bowed his head. He seemed almost soft and serene. No, wait. He was… fuzzy?

"You are entering your fourth year," Orion continued. " By my fourth year your Mother and I were betrothed, and I was already shadowing my own father at the ministry. My acquaintances were all of the purest blood. And what do have to show for yourself? Running around with blood traitors and half-bloods? Daring to study Muggles?"

"They are rather fascinating," Sirius muttered. Was his hair getting darker? Regulus put a hand to his head and blinked his eye repeatedly. What was going on?

"I did not question your fascination with the muggles," Orion hissed. There was a rushing sound in Regulus' ear. "I questioned what you had to show for your wasted years?"

"Wasted according to who?" Sirius seethed. " For your information, I am near the top of all of my classes."

"Yet we continue to get letters sent about your behavior," Orion sneered. "Has the Potter brat and the impure blooded boys led you so far off your correct path?"

"My _friends,"_ Sirius hissed, "Didn't lead me anywhere. I've chosen my own path."

"Then you are a fool," Orion stated. "When you received the heir's ring it was expected that you would uphold this family's' values. Instead, you throw away everything you have been given. For What might I ask? So they can turn on you?"

Regulus could barely understand Sirius' reply. "They wouldn't do that!"

"They well do that and worse if you ever make a mistake in their eyes. Mark my words boy, they don't take kindly to those whom they regard as traitors."

"I would never betray them!" Sirius was yelling now. Regulus was sure of it. But why did he sound so far away?

He heard no more of the argument, as he tried to discreetly leave the room but instead found himself falling to the floor. The last thing he understood was a cry of surprise and somebody shouting his name.

He was on something soft. Something was wrapped around him. But he didn't want it. He was still too hot. He moaned, squinting open his eyes.

"Shh," he heard someone murmur. Something blissfully cool touched his forehead. Oh, sweet heaven. He murmured in approval, letting his eyes close. The voice laughed. "Bet that feels good."

"Mmmhmm," Regulus nodded, slightly.

"Go back to sleep, Reg," the voice was soft. "You need to get better."

"Stay?" Regulus requested. He brought the blissful cool with him.

"Of course," the voice agreed. "I'm not going anywhere."

The next time Regulus woke up he was a little more coherent. And a little more delirious. He was still too hot and the blankets were suffocating. He tried pushing them off but was stopped by gentle hands.

"Easy now, Reg."

He looked to see the concerned gray eyes of, "Sirius."

Sirius smiled softly. "I'm here, Little Prince."

"Why?" Regulus slurred.

"You're sick," Sirius informed him. "I'm taking care of you."

"That Kreacher's job," Regulus glared.

"Well, Kreacher also has a whole house to attend too," Sirius informed him. "I'm helping."

Regulus rolled over, turning his back to Sirius. "I'm not supposed to talk to you."

It was silent for a while and Regulus was half convinced the older boy had left when Sirius spoke up, his voice sounding strained, "Then don't talk to me. But I'm gonna make sure you get better." Regulus ignored him, glaring at the wall. He didn't need Sirius here. He didn't want Sirius here. Not this Sirius anyway.

He continued to ignore his brother and glared at the wall until he felt a damp cloth dabbing gently at his brow. Oh, sweet relief! He let his eye close and moaned in appreciation. Sirius chuckled behind him.

"Figured you'd like that."

"Shut up," Regulus muttered. Sirius chuckled once more but continued his nursing.

Regulus didn't realize he'd fallen back asleep until he woke up again. Sirius was still there, still taking care of him. "You're still here."

"Corse I am," Sirius shrugged. "I live here."

"But you're still taking care of me."

"That's what people are supposed to do."

"No, it's not. This is house elf work," Regulus' eyes widened. "Is this your punishment? Did you do something?!"

Sirius shook his head. "No."

"Then why are you.."

"I got really sick in my second year," Sirius interrupted. "My friends took care of me. And well, Remus gets sick a lot so we take care of him. Guess I just... I just like taking care of people I care about."

"Oh," Regulus was silent for a while. "Siri?"

"Hmm?"

"Remember when we were little and you would make up stories?"

"You want one?"

Regulus shrugged, "Long as you're here."

Sirius laughed. "Ok, let me think." Sirius took the now mostly dry cloth and replaced it with a fresh one. "I know. Once, long ago, there was a pure-blooded wizard, who married a half blood."

"Why would he do that?"

"'Cause he loved her. Now shush."

"But love's got nothing to do with marriage," Regulus grumbled.

"It does in this story. Now would you like me to continue?"

"Fine," Regulus nodded.

"O.k. So the two wizards were very happy and became even happier when the wife gave birth to a healthy daughter, who they named Cindy."

"Cindy?"

"It's a muggle name."

"It's horrible!"

"Ok, how about.." Sirius paused searching for a new name. "Cinta?"

"Better."

"So Cinta grew but showed no signs of magic."

"She was a squib?"

"Yep, but her parents loved her anyways."

"This is so unrealistic."

"Shut up and listen."

"Then make your stories believable."

"The one about the dragons was completely unrealistic," Sirius pointed out. "But you loved that one."

Regulus pouted. "It was a good story."

"So is this one, now shush," Sirius dabbed at Regulus' head some more. "Now, Cinta had a good childhood, but one day her mother got sick and passed away."

"Well that's what she gets for being a half-blood," Regulus sneered.

"That's it, I'm done," Sirius stood up, taking the cloth with him.

"Wait, don't go," Regulus pleaded, telling himself he just wanted the relief the stupid cloth brought.

"Why shouldn't I? You obviously don't want me here," Sirius glared at the floor.

"I... " Regulus paused, biting his lip. "I'm sorry, I'll stop."

"Reg," Sirius sighed, "One of my best friends is a half-blood. He's the one that told me the original story."

Regulus blinked, confused. "Original?"

"It's a muggle tale," Sirius admitted, "but the magic in it didn't make since so James and I fixed the story."

"You're telling me a muggle tale?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's one of my favorites," Sirius admitted. "I like the ending."

"I see," Regulus thought for a moment. "I like the ending of the dragon one."

Sirius smiled. "Me too."

"Finish the story?"

"Ok," Sirius sat back down and continued. "Cinta and her father were devastated, but they carried on. Eventually, Cinta's father remarried a pureblooded witch."

"A better match."

"Regulus."

"Sorry, continue."

"The witch had two daughters of her own, Azalea and Saffron."

"Good names."

"Thank you. The witch was beautiful, but her heart was full of hatred toward anyone whom she deemed lesser. Eventually, Cinta's father also passed away. Instead of casting the girl out, however, the witch…"

"She needs a name," Regulus interrupted.

"What?" Sirius looked at his brother.

"You can't just keep calling her the witch, they're all witches," Regulus explained.

"Fine. Her name can be," He paused, thinking. "Walburga."

"You can't name her after Mother!

"Why not?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Because," Regulus let out an exasperated breath, "it seems like the stepmother is the villain and you can't make our mother the villain."

"Fine, how about Bellatrix?"

"Sirius," Regulus groaned.

Sirius laughed, "Ok, um, her name is Fabularius."

"Oh, Godric, kill me now," Regulus muttered.

"Well, that's what happens when I can't name the villain after Mum. Anyways, instead of throwing Cinta out, Fabularius made her a servant. She was treated no better than a house elf. Years passed. Cinta's Step Sisters went off to school, while Cinta stayed behind, cleaning and cooking for Fabularius. Sometime Cinta would work so long and so hard that she would be too tired to return to her own room in the attic. So she would fall asleep by the fire. Because of this, her step sisters began to call her Cinderella."

"That cruel," Regulus yawned.

"Hmm," Sirius nodded. "Some people are just cruel, Reggie." Sirius tucked the covers around his brother. "Time to rest now."

"Kay," Regulus closed his eyes. "'Night Siri."

"Good Night, Little Prince," Sirius smiled.

Regulus was on the edge of sleep when he thought he heard Sirius whisper, "I love you, little brother." But he knew that would never be. And that broke his heart.


	6. 101 Ways of a Mother

**I am working on Part 2 of** ** _To Care for a Brother_** **but it's slow going. then I realized it was Mother's Day so I whipped this up. Not my favorite personally, but it was a fun list to come up with. Happy Mum's day everyone! And the next chapter will hopefully be** ** _To Care for a Brother Part 2_** **.**

 **Update Note: The problem with doing something fast and not having a beta is you miss stuff. So I went back and fixed it. Not much is changed. Mostly format and added another reason cause I wanted a certain number.**

* * *

Sirius growled softly at the stupid parchment in front of him. Stupid Snivellus. Stupid McGonagall. Stupid mother for even existing.

"Still drawing a blank?" Sirius glared at James who'd already finished his assignment. "Just checking."

Sirius growled once more. Then started to methodically stab the stupid parchment.

"You still working on McGonagall's punishment?" Remus asked, Peter following him in.

"It's impossible," Sirius grumbled. "Write 50 good things about your mother. I can't even think of one!"

"I wrote 100," James admitted. "Kept thinking of things."

"That's cause you're mum's awesome," Sirius griped.

"Write about Mrs. Potter then," Peter suggested. The three other boys stared at him. "Well, she acts like she's actually your Mum so maybe… Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"That's not a bad idea actually," Remus mused.

"Would you mind if I wrote about your mum?" Sirius asked James.

"Pads, I'm pretty sure you could borrow any of our mums and we'd be relieved. Your mum sucks."

Sirius smiled. And began writing.

The next day McGonagall received this assignment.

 **50 Ways to Be a Good Mother (and then some)**

My Mum, to put it lightly, is worst then a trolls stank mixed with a goblin's cunning and rudeness, a centaur's haughtiness, and a dragon's fracity. So I wrote about other mums and why they are the best.

1\. Mrs. Potter let me into her home, no questions asked.

2\. She also didn't care that I am a Black.

3\. She actively invites me to her home.

4\. She knows all my favorite foods.

5\. She makes them every time I'm over.

6\. She and Mr. Potter gave me my own room at their home.

7\. She sent a howler that sang me Happy birthday.

8\. She doesn't care about Blood status.

9\. She gives the best hugs.

10\. She also makes the best hot chocolate.

11\. She was a Gryffindor.

12\. She lets me stay up super late.

13\. She lets me sleep in.

14\. She still cleans up and cooks despite the fact that she has house elves.

15\. She smells warm. I don't know how that works but she does.

16\. She actually likes me.

17\. She listens to my stupid rants on weird muggle stuff. (What is the point of a rubber duck?!)

18\. She supports James' crush on Lily Evans.

19\. She also teases him about it.

20\. She still blushes when Mr. Potter compliments her.

21\. She loves James and Mr. Potter so much.

22\. She sends me little gifts on my birthday and Christmas.

23\. She owns everyone at gobstones.

24\. She has the prettiest blue eyes.

25\. She's James's Mum. And that makes her one of the best Mums ever.

26\. Mrs. Lupin is a muggle. That makes her fantastic.

27\. She loves Remus despite his furry little problem.

28\. She always wears muggle jeans that have paint, or dirt, or some kind of stain on it.

29\. Her hair is always a mess on the top of her head.

30\. She paints. And they're beautiful.

31\. She loves telling muggle stories.

32\. She introduced me to motorcycles. (Those things are so cool.)

33\. She makes the best tea.

34\. She smells like flowers and paint.

35\. She and Mr. Lupin act like a newly married couple.

36\. She doesn't care if things get a bit messy.

37\. She loves our stories.

38\. She didn't go to Hogwarts but she's probably a Ravenclaw.

39\. She always sends extra chocolate in Remus' packages.

40\. She loves the rain. I saw her and Remus dancing in it once.

41\. Family time is sacred to her.

42\. She about ripped a guy's head off for being rude to Remus.

43\. She bares the pain of Remus' condition amazingly well.

44\. She isn't jealous of magic.

45\. She has callouses on her hands.

46\. Her laugh sounds like an angel.

47\. She's always smiling.

48\. She might not know much about magic but she can smack you down with pure brilliant words.

49\. She painted our faces once.

50\. She's Remus mum.

51\. Mrs. Pettigrew is a brilliant strong woman.

52\. After her husband left her first instinct was to comfort Peter.

53\. She sends Peter packages once a week.

54\. She sends him little notes daily.

55\. She makes the best cookies.

56\. She has perfect pitch.

57\. She is a Hufflepuff.

58\. She kept Pettigrew as her last name after her useless husband left because she didn't want to have a different last name than her son.

59\. She smells like baked goods. Mostly cookies.

60\. She rocks being a single mum.

61\. She is really good at braiding hair.

62\. She doesn't mind getting her hands dirty.

63\. She doesn't keep up with the latest fashion.

64\. She's very proud of Peter.

65\. She owns her own business.

66\. She is the chess master.

67\. She raised rats. Weird hobby.

68\. She makes her own robes.

69\. She is always singing something.

70\. She knows both wizard and muggle songs.

71\. She has never sent her son a howler. (James totally deserved that one that his Mum sent, and Remus' mum sent that one on accident.)

72\. She always takes the first and last day of summer off to spend with Peter.

73\. She still lets Peter hang out with us.

74\. She just has the nicest house.

75\. She's Peter's mum.

76\. McGonagall, you are a wonderful teacher.

77\. You care about all of your students.

78\. You are fair about how many points you take away.

79\. You really don't care who my family is.

80\. Or that Remus has a furry little problem.

81\. Or that James is a Potter.

82\. You played Quidditch and understand its importance.

83\. You were willing to sit with me in first year when the others didn't know how to help with my nightmares.

84\. You always have biscuits.

85\. You always want to know what spell we used in our pranks. (Admit it, you're proud of us.)

86\. I love your hats.

87\. You let James take the fall for Remus forgetting his homework that one time.

88\. James loved that detention just so you know.

89\. You are an Animagus and that's awesome.

90\. You force me to go to the hospital wing when I'm too stubborn too.

91\. You let me stay in your office when I had that falling out with the others and we were avoiding each other.

92\. You let me hide in your wardrobe that one-time mum tried to drag me back home for winter break.

93\. You also told my mum to shut up and get out.

94\. You tolerate us.

95\. You stand up for any student, no matter what house they're in.

96\. Your husband is awesome.

97\. You explained to me why I was a Gryffindor when I forgot why.

98\. You're Dumbledore's number 2.

99\. You push us to be better and to do better.

100\. You're head of Gryffindor.

101\. None of you are Walburga Black. To be honest, that's the only reason I need.

McGonagall placed the parchment down with tears in her eyes. She knew that Sirius deserved so much better then he got. But she couldn't save him. He had to save himself. But at least he had women in his life that could be true mothers.


	7. To Care for a Brother Part 2

**So I got a wonderful review the other day which helped me kick my but into gear and finish this. But then it got long so here's To Care for a brother Part 2 of 3.**

Something had happened to Sirius. James knew the second he saw his friend. They were meeting up in Diagon Alley to pick up their new textbooks and then Sirius was coming home with him for the rest of the summer.

James had been both excited for and dreading this day. On one hand, Sirius was coming to his house where James knew he would be safe, for once. But Sirius' father was coming to Diagon as well. And that man was terrifying. The few times James had seen Sirius around his father he was, understandably, more subdued.

And he was. But something else was off. There was no spark of mischief in Sirius' eyes. His hair seemed lank and he was extremely pale. James didn't address it until they were in the bookstore and had left their Dads arguing near the front about some bloke named Voldemort.

"You alright mate?"

"Hmm?" Sirius looked surprised, like he had forgotten that James was there. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"You sure?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Prongs," Sirius sighed. "I've been trying to survive my _delightful_ family all summer. I promise I'm just tired."

James raised an eyebrow. "Ok." But he kept an eye on Sirius for the rest of the day.

He was overly quiet. He didn't smile at all. He seemed to forget where he was half of the time. His walk lacked his normal inhuman grace. James had a few guesses as to what was bothering his friend. One of which seemed confirmed when Sirius rested his head on the table of the restaurant they were eating at, ignoring his food entirely.

"Sirius," Orion grunted causing the poor boy to jump, immediately sitting correctly. No slouch, James noted. Perfect poster. Yep, Sirius was sick.

Orion glared at his son for a moment before going back to his own meal. Sirius looked down at his food and just grimaced.

James glanced over at his own father and noticed the crease of concern in his eyebrows. Good. He'd noticed. Fix it, James silently pleaded.

Fleamont seemed to hear that plead as he cleared his throat. "Well, it's getting late, and the Mrs is expecting us." He boxed up his and the two boy's leftovers with his wand. "I assume your family is expecting you as well."

"Of course," Orion agreed. "I expect to be alerted when Sirius misbehaves."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Fleamont's smile was tight.

"Hmmm, we'll see." With that Orion left, leaving his own barely touched food behind.

"Piece of work, that one," Fleamont muttered. "You boys ready to go?" James nodded and stood, but Sirius continued to sit with his head in his hands. "Sirius?" Fleamont placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder causing the boy to jump.

"What?" He blinked a few times.

Fleamont smiled, kindly. "Let's get you two home." Sirius nodded and followed James and Fleamont outside. There the boys both took hold of one of Fleamont's arms before he apparated them to outside the Potter home. Sirius' knees buckled when they appeared and he would have fallen had Fleamont not caught him.

"Whoa, don't want that."

"Sorry," Sirius murmured, his hair fell to cover his face.

"It's alright," Fleamont assured him. "Let's get you to bed now." Fleamont lead them to the house, one hand gently guiding Sirius the whole way.

Euphemia greeted them at the door. "I was wondering where you three were." She frowned when she caught sight of Sirius. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine dear," Fleamont placed a kiss on her cheek. "It's just been a long day."

"Of course," she smiled. "Your bags are upstairs dear. And please don't hesitate to ask if you need anything."

Sirius' smile was tired. "Thanks, Mrs. Potter."

"Oh please, Mrs. Potter makes me sound so old," she laughed, "but I suppose Euphemia isn't much better. Now, go on up to bed, dear."

James smiled, grateful to his parents. The Potters were old, sure, they were in their mid 80's, but they were open-minded. Though they had been concerned at first that James had chosen a Black as a friend they had quickly warmed up to the idea. It was a strange contrast between their two families. Sirius' parents were young but bigoted. James' parents were old but open. It was part of the reason James wasn't worried about the fact that he had fallen for a muggle born.

He led Sirius to the guest room, keeping an eye on him the whole time. Sirius stumbled a little on the stairs but for the most part, he was fine. "So," James started, entering the guest room. "This is where you'll be. My room is right across the hall if you need anything. Gypsy, Parly, and Hilly are the house elves. They're pretty great."

"Sure," Sirius nodded, searching through one of his bags.

James frowned. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sirius nodded. "Just never sleep much in that old house."

"Ok," James sighed. He carefully placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Come get me if you need anything."

"I'll be fine James," Sirius smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I just need some sleep and then I'll be 'right as storm," or however the bloody saying goes."

"I think it's sun, isn't it? How can weather be right or wrong anyways? That doesn't make much sense."

"It's cause Muggles are weird," Sirius explained, pulling his shirt off. "G'night Prongs."

"Night Padfoot, see you in the morning."

James was woken up three hours later by Gypsy. "Mas'er James? Mas'er James?"

"Wha…? What's wrong, G?" James blinked, trying t get his eyes to focus. Stupid useless eyesight.

"Mas'er's friend is ills, sir," Gypsy explained.

"Saw that coming," he grabbed his glasses. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Gypsy 'hought Sir wants to know. Friend star'ed being sick in lou, ands Gypsy 'hought young sir would wants to know." James nodded. "But wes also can care for friend if Mas'er is wishing to sleep."

"No, I've got him," James made his way to Sirius' guest room, and sighed at the light from under the bathroom door." He knocked. "Siri? You ok in there?" The sound of retching was his only answer. "I'm coming in."

James was grateful to see Hilly holding Sirius' hair and Parly, the only male house-elf, rubbing his back. "Drink too much?" James teased. Sirius flipped him off, something Remus had taught them. Parly moved, allowing James to take his spot. "Could you let Mum and Dad know?" James asked Parly.

"No," Sirius groaned, "Don't wanna bother them."

"And maybe get a glass of Water for Sirius?" James continued, ignoring his friend.

"Yes sir," Parly bowed before leaving.

James turned to Gypsy. "How's his bed look?"

"Still clean, sirs. But Gypsy cans change it if…"

"Nah, that's not necessary if it's clean," James assured her. "But it will need more blankets."

"Righ's away, sirs." Gypsy hurried off.

"Does young sir needs me to do something?" Hilly asked.

"You're doing perfect," James smiled. "Just keep his hair back." He laid his hand against Sirius' forehead. "You're burning up, Pads."

"Sounds about right," Sirius muttered before leaning back over the toilet to be sick once more.

"Everything alright in here?" James' mum asked. She was leaning against the doorway.

"More or less," James nodded.

Sirius gasped as he finished, tears in his eyes. He laid his head on the toilet bowl and moaned.

"Oh sweetie," Mrs. Potter sighed, walking in. She placed the back of her hand against his forehead. "That seems fairly high, dear. Probably caught the flu that's going around."

Parly happily returned water in hand and Gypsy on his heels. "I gots the water, young sir."

"And the beds has more blankets," Gypsy reported.

"Thank you," James smiled, taking the water. "Here, this should help."

Sirius shook his head, "Don't wanna move."

"Sorry love, but you need too," Mrs. Potter soothed. "Can't let you get dehydrated."

Sirius groaned but forced himself to sit up enough. He allowed James to bring the glass to his lips. He swished the first few sips around, then spit them out before allowing himself to drink a little. After he was done he leaned his head back against the bowl. "Sorry 'bout this."

"Don't you worry love," Mrs. Potter smiled. "These things happened. And from what I've heard about your Father today, I'd rather you be ill here.

Sirius tried to smile but it ended up as a grimace. "Thanks."

"Wes can take care of friend if Mrs. and Mas'er wish to rest," Gypsy offered.

"It's alright dears," Mrs. Potter waved them off. "It will probably be only a few more minutes. Gypsy, be a dear and grab a hair tie from my room." The house elf bowed and left. "And Hilly, if you'll help me french braid Sirius' hair, keep it off his neck." She magicked herself a chair. All was quiet as Hilly and Mrs. Potter went to work. Parly brought a wet cloth and placed it across Sirius' forehead, who moaned appreciatively. Gypsy quickly returned with the hair ties.

"Should be alright for him to go back to bed," Mrs. Potter suggested. She smiled sadly when she realized that Sirius was practically asleep. "Sirius darling? It's time to go to bed."

"I'ma sleep here," Sirius slurred.

"That won't feel good in the morning dear," Mrs. Potter laughed.

"Don' care. Comfy."

"C'mon Padfoot," James sighed getting up. "The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you can sleep."

Sirius grumbled, determined not to move. James just rolled his eyes and picked Sirius up, years of Quidditch paying off. And whatever that muggle thing was that Wood was having them all do. Sirius just snuggled close as James carried him back to the room. The house elves hurried in front turning the bed down. Once he laid Sirius down, Mrs. Potter tucked him in and Parly placed another damp cloth on his forehead.

"Get some rest dear," Mrs. Potter whispered. "And you too James. We don't need you to be sick as well." She turned to the house elves. "As for you three write up a schedule for tonight, take turns watching him. A few hours each. One of us well relieves you tomorrow."

"Yes Mrs," they all bowed. James followed his Mother out of the room.

"Don't you and Dad have something important tomorrow?"

"Oh, Merlin's beard, you're right. Well, he can manage on his own. Doesn't really need me."

James raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't he?"

Mrs. Potter chuckled. "Well someone has to take care of Sirius. Can't have the boy thinking he's not important."

'Too late for that,' James thought. "I can take care of him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I've done it at school before. And I'll have Gypsy, and Hilly, and Parly helping."

"Well…" She thought it over. "Alright, but you'll notify us if you need anything?"

"Absolutely."

"You're a good boy, Jamie," Mrs. Potter smiled. "I'm so proud of you." She kissed his forehead.

"Mum!" James groaned.

Mrs. Potter laughed. "Good night dear."

"Night Mum."

James waited in his room for maybe half an hour before sneaking across the hall. Hilly looked surprised to see him.

"Young Master is not supposed to be heres. Young Masters is supposed to be resting."

"I know," James smiled. "But I just need to make sure he's ok. I worry about him."

Hilly smiled. "Young Master is good to friend."

"I try," James shrugged, moving to Sirius' bedside. Sirius' had somehow curled deeper into the blankets as he slept. James chuckled. He carefully moved only the top blanket and laid down next to his friend. Sirius immediately snuggled closer, which caused James to smile as he finally drifted off to sleep.


	8. To Care for a Brother Part 3

**What's this? A double update? Yeah, seemed like a good idea.**

When James woke up, it was to the sound of dry heaving and soft murmurs from one of the elves. He sat up, grabbing his glasses. Sirius was partly hanging off the side of the bed, Parly at his side. James frowned and crawled across the bed.

"Siri?"

Sirius glanced at him. "Hey.."

"You're not looking too hot."

"Wha' ya talking 'bout?" Sirius grumbled. "I look like a bloody god."

"Not really," James laughed, rubbing his back.

"Stupid Prince," Sirius grumbled. "The brat got sick, now I've caught it."

"Well, that's rude of him."

"I know!" Sirius shook his head. "An' he kept interrupting my story."

James blinked. "You lost me there mate."

"Was telling him 'bout Cindy," Sirius explained before dry heaving once more. "I hate him."

"Nah, you don't," James shook his head. "Come on, back into bed properly now."

"You got classes today?" Sirius asked.

James did a double take. "It's summer."

"Can't be. You're here."

"You're spending the rest of summer at my house, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Sirius blinked. "Tha' sucks."

"Oh, thanks. Good to know how you really feel," James grumbled.

"Was hoping Moony could tell more stories," Sirius' eyes closed.

"Oh, that makes sense." James looked down to see that Sirius had fallen back asleep. He sighed and looked over at Parly. "Let me know if he wakes up before I come back."

"Yes sirs."

James made his way downstairs and grabbed the omelet that his mother had left for him. He grabbed some parchment and wrote a quick note to Remus.

Moony,

Padfoot is at my house and he's sick. Caught the flu that's been going around according to Mum. He mentioned he wanted some of your muggle stories, so if you could send some that'd be great. Hope the last moon was good. Once Padfoot gets better he and I are getting back to work.

-Prongs

P.S. Do you need more chocolate?

He was with Sirius when he got Remus' reply. Sirius was startled by the owl coming in.

"What?!"

"Wrote to Moony earlier," James explained, taking the package from his owl. He opened the letter on top.

Prongs,

Sorry to hear that Pads got sick but I'm glad he's with you. I sent one of my fairytale books that should keep you two occupied for a while.

The moon went fine. I've had worse. I really wish that you two wouldn't. It's really dangerous and illegal and you don't even know if it'll work. Also, I'm stocked up on chocolate. Mum has me covered.

Tell Pads I miss him and to get better.

-Moony

Sirius poked his side. "What he say?"

"He misses you and wants you to get better. The usual nonsense about our research. Moon went fine, doesn't need more chocolate..."

"That's a lie."

"And he sent a muggle fairy tale book. Should be fun."

"Oh," Sirius crawled closer. "Let me see."

"Hold your Hippogriffs," James chided. He opened the box and pulled out a well-worn fairy tale book that had another note.

"This was originally my Mum's," James read. "Ruin it and I will castrate you. You have been warned."

"Rude," Sirius laughed. He laid his head down on James' lap. "Read one."

"Let's see. Already know _Cinderella_. _Puss in Boots_ is fun. _Goldilocks_ , _Hansel and Gretel_ , ah-ha! This one sounds good. _Beauty and the Beast."_

"Oh! I like the title."

"Once upon a time as a merchant set off for market, he asked each of his three daughters what she would like as a present on his return. The first daughter wanted a brocade dress, the second a pearl necklace, but the third, whose name was Beauty, the youngest, prettiest and sweetest of them all, said to her father:  
"All I'd like is a rose you've picked specially for me!"

-time break-

"..."How I've been longing for this moment!" he said. "I was suffering in silence, and couldn't tell my frightful secret. An evil witch turned me into a monster and only the love of a maiden willing to accept me as I was, could transform me back into my real self. My dearest! I'll be so happy if you'll marry me . . ."

"The wedding took place shortly after and, from that day on, the young Prince would have nothing but roses in his gardens. And that's why, to this day, the castle is known as the Castle of the Rose. The end."

They sat in silence for a while, taking in the story. "How does that work?" Sirius asked. "All these stories are like true love's kiss or some weird thing. What is up with Muggles and their love obsession?"

"I don't know," James shook his head. "But it's kind of ridiculous." He thought for a moment. "So what, a pureblooded witch turns a muggle born into a monster?"

"Maybe," Sirius yawned. "Or he's just a werewolf and hates it so he hides himself away."

"Woah, yeah. And maybe Beauty was, like, his best friend growing up and she tries to look for him when she comes of age."

Sirius smiled, his eyes sliding closed. "Yeah and then she finds him and he freaks out but she won't leave because she loves him. And then she works to become an Animagus to keep him safe."

"Yeah," James smiled. "I think Remus well like that one."

"She needs a new name. No one's named Beauty. Tha's stupid," Sirius slurred.

"We'll figure that out later. Time to sleep, bud."

"Do wha' I wan'," Sirius drifted off.

"Of course you do."

James flipped through the book a little not really reading it but looking at the illustrations. Muggles had such imaginations. He was focused on one drawing of Cinderella running from the ball. Her dress billowed after her, the clock in the background. The prince was far off in the distance trying desperately to catch up with her and there was a single golden shoe on the steps. Upon closer examination, he noticed the edge of the dress was already changing into rags.

Sirius moaned, readjusting himself. James froze watching. He'd seen this too many times. Sirius eyelids twitching, his breath getting faster, moaning once more as he curled into himself.

Nightmare.

"Sirius?" He gently shook him. "Siri? Wake up!"

"No," Sirius moaned. "Don't.."

"Come on Siri, it isn't real."

"No. Help. Prongs."

"I'm here, I'm here," James stressed. "Wake up!"

Then Sirius started screaming, thrashing. James ignored his flailing arms and pulled him close. "Come on Siri, wake up!"

Hilly came running in. "What's happening? We hears screaming!"

"Nightmare," James explained. "Sirius! It's not real, wake up!"

Sirius gasped eyes flying open. He forced himself out of James' grip and flew to the bathroom. He's knees barely hit the floor before everything that the house elves had been able to coax down came back with a vengeance. James came in and knelt beside Sirius, rubbing his back. Sirius moaned when he finished and laid down on the floor.

"Siri, you can't sleep there."

"Not going to sleep," Sirius answered. "I'm gonna die."

"You're not gonna die."

"Too late."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Ok."

"You got any more stories?"

"Yeah. Remus sent a whole book." James looked towards Hilly who had brought in water and another washcloth. "Thank you. Could you grab the book that's by the bed?" Hilly bowed and retreated. "Kay I need you to sit up and drink this. Can't have you dehydrated."

"I hate you," Sirius mumbled but allowed James to help him sit up.

"Sure you do," James rolled his eyes as Hilly returned with the book and some pillows and blankets. "You are fantastic," James praised.

"Hilly is just doing her job, Young Master."

"I like your house elves better," Sirius commented.

"They're pretty great," James agreed.

"Is yous needing anything else?" Hilly asked.

"No, thank you. We'll call if we need you." Hilly bowed and left.

"How old is she?" Sirius asked.

"I don't actually know," James admitted. "I think Mum and Dad got her after they were married. They got Gypsy when I was born and Parly after I went to school."

"Hmm, so what's the next story?"

"Let's see. This one has a weird name. Rumpy… No Rum-pil...Rum-pils..tile-skin?"

"Weird. Is that really how it's pronounced?"

'I don't think so. We'll have to ask Remus."

"Weird Muggle stories."

"Right, so once upon a time there was a poor miller who had a beautiful daughter. Once when he was called before the king he wanted to appear important so he told the king that his daughter could spin straw into gold."

"Transfiguration? Finally, a story that makes sense."

"So the king called for the daughter to be brought before him and he placed her in a room full of straw. He commanded her to spin the straw into gold or be punished by death."

"Well that seems harsh," Sirius readjusted so his head was on James' lap once more.

"Must be a muggle thing," James guessed, absently mindedly running his hand through Sirius' hair. "He then locked the maiden alone. So the poor miller's daughter sat herself down and began to sob? Weird. For she had no idea how straw could be spun into gold. Wait, what?!"

"So wait, the miller lied and now she's gonna be killed in the morning because of her father?!" Sirius looked up at James. "What the heck is wrong with this guy?"

"No idea. This is messed up. Soon the maiden began to cry. Well duh! The king is gonna kill her. Soon a little man appeared. 'What seems to be the trouble, my dear?'

"'The King wants me to spin this straw into gold,' the maiden explained. 'But I don't know how to do it.'

"'What will you give to me if I do it?' the little man asked."

"So he's the wizard," Sirius nodded. "Good."

"'My necklace,' the girl answered. The little man agreed and sat himself down to begin spinning the straw. By morning the whole room was filled. Oh good, she's not gonna die."

"Thank Merlin," Sirius agreed.

"But when the king saw the room his heart became more greedy and he locked the girl in a larger room filled with straw...Oh, come on!"

"What a dick," Sirius spat.

"...he locked the girl in a larger room full of straw with the same promise. More like threat. Fill the room with gold or be punished by death. The girl sat down and waited. Sure enough, the little man appeared once more."

"'What will you give me if I spin this straw into gold?'

"'The ring on my finger," the maiden promised. He sat down and once more spun the straw into gold. The king was overjoyed when he saw the room but took her to a room that was still larger. Oh, Sweet Merlin are we almost done?"

"Maybe it has a good ending?" Sirius suggested. "Maybe he dies a horrible and painful death.

"I hope so. Let's see. 'If you spin all this straw into gold then I shall make you my queen.'"

"That's nice."

"For he figured that even though she was just a Miller's daughter he could never find a richer wife in the whole world."

"Never mind, back to being a dick."

"Once again the man came and asked 'What will you give me if I spin this straw into gold?'

"But the maiden confessed, 'I have nothing left to give you.'

"'Then promise me this, if you become queen, you will give me your first born child.'"

"What?" Sirius sat up. "No, that is not in there!"

"No it's there," James stared at the page. "Even worse, she agrees? What the hell?"

"NO! She can't do that!" Sirius yelled. "She's the hero of the story! She has to be good!"

"Maybe we should…." James tried but Sirius interrupted.

"A parent can't just barter away their child! That's not right! We aren't some chess pawns for them to use at will!" James stared, concerned. How long had this been building up?

"We're people! We matter! We're not here for you to get more power or to carry on your dark twisted legacy! We have our own dreams and ideas and feelings. Sometimes we're in different houses but that's ok. And maybe I want to study Muggles because they're fascinating. And maybe we actually do try hard to be at the top of our class, even if you don't care. And maybe I don't want to marry some stupid pure blooded minger! Maybe I'm not sure if I want to marry at all. Because then we have to have kids and I don't want them to get their hands on them. And maybe I just want some support, and they're forcing him away and it hurts cause he's listening. And I just want them to not have all these stupid expectations and just accept who I am, damn it!"

James sat there, not sure what to do. He'd never seen Sirius like this. Remus would know what to do. Remus always knew what to do. Sirius crumpled on himself and let out a sob.

"I don't wanna be alone."

James rushed forward and pulled Sirius close. "No, you're not alone. I'm here. And Remus and Peter. Well not physically, but you know what I mean."

"Reg..Regulus told me tha.. That they don't wan' him to talk t-to me. But he's my baby brother Prongs. I gotta take care of him," Sirius sobbed. "He's Little Prince. It's my job to..to… I'm failing, Prongs. I'm such a screw-up."

"No! Shh, you're not," James assured him. "You're not. You still take care of him, don't you? You're still there for him."

"But he won't let me…"

"Hush now. You're doing fine. You're doing the best you can and that's enough."

"No, it's not," Sirius cried. "It's never enough. I'm never enough."

James held his friend and rocked him back and forth, back and forth., humming some old Muggle tune that Remus had taught them. What did he do? How could he fix this? He just wanted to hide Sirius away forever and never let anyone near him, and keep him safe and warm, away from his toxic family.

It was hours later that Mrs. Potter found them curled up next to each other on the bathroom floor, fast asleep. She smiled and used her wand to move them back to the bed. Mr. Potter joined her as she tucked the two boys in.

"Everything alright, love?"

"Seems that way," she nodded. She placed a hand on Sirius' forehead. "His fever's still there but it's not as bad."

"Good," Mr. Potter held a hand out to her and she smiled as she took it. They watched the boy for a moment more from the doorway.

"You know, looking at them like that, they seem like brothers."

"If only."


	9. Hair

Lily and James had been dating for about 3 months. So far everything was going great.

Well, almost everything.

James had turned out to be very sweet, and strangely responsible. He got on with her friends and she got on with his. For the most part. Remus and Peter were wonderful. She had already been friends with Remus due to their Prefect years and Peter she found out was a very sweet guy. The problem was SIrius.

Sure, Sirius could be nice at times but he seemed to be continually trying to hold back a lot of remarks. She was positive that he didn't like her. To be fair there were times when she absolutely loathed him as well.

She had mentioned this to her friend Marlene one time. "Just tell James to stop being friends with him."

"What?" Lily stared at her. "Like give him an ultimatum?"

"Yeah," Marlene shrugged. "Tell James it's you or Black."

"What makes you think that James would pick me?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

Lily had walked away after just didn't understand. Sirius had come first. It was actually one of the things that she hated. If Sirius needed him, James would drop everything. She'd asked Remus about it once and the only explanation Remus gave her was that Sirius had had it rough and James was the only one that could calm him when it got really bad.

"Peter and I have tried," he sighed looking tired. "But it has to be James. I'm sorry."

She'd dropped the subject after that. She tried not to be upset when James had to leave to help Sirius, partly because James always made up for it. Tonight was one of those nights that he would have to make up for. They'd been walking around the grounds, about to steal a kiss, when that blasted mirror had started buzzing.

James stopped, grimacing. "Lills, I… I need to.."

Lily held up her hand, "Go ahead."

James smiled apologetically, then answered the stupid mirror. "What's up?"

"Sorry," Sirius' voice answered. "I know you're with Lily but…"

"What happened?" James asked.

"It's… I... It's private."

James sighed, then looked at Lily. She shrugged. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry," James answered. He turned back to the mirror. "I'll be up in a sec."

"Thanks. Tell Evan's sorry for me."

"Well do." They made their way up to the castle in silence.

"He means it, you know," James said when they entered.

"Sure."

"Lily," James took her had, stopping her. "I really am sorry."

"Is he more important than me?"

"What?!"

Lily turned to look at James. "Is Sirius more important than me?"

"No!" James shook his head. "That's not it at all! He's just…! It's complicated."

"Of course it is," Lily shook her head. "I've got some homework to catch up on. Go take care of your boyfriend." With that Lily turned on her heel and marched to the library.

She stared at her books for about half an hour, not really seeing any of the words. She let their conversation repeat in her mind. Sirius was more important, No matter how much James wanted to deny it. Whatever. She didn't care. It was just James. She could have any guy she wanted.

Except that she wanted James.

"Lot of stuff on your mind?"

Lily jumped, frantic eyes finding Remus quickly. He definitely hadn't been sitting across from her before.

"Merlin's balls, how long have you been sitting there?"

"About 10 minutes," Remus shrugged. "So you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever's made you so upset," Remus clarified.

"It's just…." Lily ran a hand through her hair. "It's stupid."

"I doubt it," Remus disagreed. He hesitated. "It's Sirius, isn't it?"

Lily sighed. "Sometimes I hate him," she admitted. "But he's James' best friend."

"They are a packaged deal."

"I know. And I know you guys say that Sirius needs James but… He's my boyfriend! Is it too much to ask that he picks me every once in awhile?"

"Um… Yes? And no."

Lily stared at him. "What?"

Remus sighed, leaning back. "When it comes to just general spending time, James gives a lot of it to you."

"But you guys are there too."

"And then we leave you guys alone as much as possible. But there are times that Sirius just needs him, and he tries not too. He really does."

"Sure," Lily rolled her eyes.

"He resulted for two hours tonight."

Lily was surprised she did get whiplash with how fast he neck moved. "What?!"

Remus leaned forward. "This stays between us." Lily nodded. "I don't know what happened but when Sirius came up earlier he was on the edge of a panic attack. I almost called James right then. By some miracle Pete and I were able to calm him down. But he just… he wouldn't talk to us and he kept coming close to freaking out again. I had to twist his arm to call James cause… well James was with you. And Sirius honestly hates pulling him away from you cause then James feels awful but honestly Lily we don't know what else to do." Lily was shocked to see tears in his eyes. "They screwed him up and we can't fix it. But James can get close." Remus head fell into his hands.

Lily moved sitting beside her friend and just held him. She ignored the fact that her shirt was getting wet.

"Sorry," Remus finally muttered. "I was supposed to be helping you."

"You are, but you definitely need help too," Lily smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem." She waited until his tears subsided. "Why does he hate me?"

"Sirius?" Remus looked at her. "Sirius doesn't hate you."

"Right."

"He doesn't," Remus insisted. "You make James happy so he likes you. He just doesn't trust you."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Not at all. For example, I like Pete well enough but that doesn't mean that I trust him not to lose things."

"Ok," Lily nodded. "Why doesn't he trust me?"

"Sirius doesn't trust anyone. I mean he trusts us well enough but we're the exception, not the rule."

"So how do I get him to trust me?"

"Just give it time."

"But what if it takes to long?" Lily cried. "What if he never trusts me and then James feel like he has to choose between us? He won't pick me Remus! He won't!"

"Lily stop!" Remus grabbed her shoulders. "James isn't going to pick between the two of you. He loves you and he loves Sirius. He wouldn't know how to choose between you."

"But what if…?" She sobbed.

"Shhh," Remus soothed. "It's gonna be ok. I promise."

Three weeks later nothing had changed. Lily tried everything she could think of but Sirius still hated her. She didn't care what Remus said, he hated her. But she pushed her feelings away and soldiered on. She wasn't letting James go that easily.

She smiled watching her boyfriend pour over some plans for a prank with Sirius. It was a harmless one for Valentine's Day. They were trying to figure out how to make a Muggle song, Love Train, start playing every time a couple kissed. Lily was pretty sure it was impossible but they were determined.

"Is there some potion we could use?" Sirius mused. "Maybe we could sneak it in the pumpkin juice?"

"Not that I know of," James muttered. "Maybe we could use the suits of armor, somehow?"

"Maybe," Sirius pushed his hair back for the hundredth time that night.

His hair looked very soft, Lily mused. And it was fairly long. Sirius Black's hair always seemed to have this perfectly tousled look. It was never as messy as James' but it looked just as soft. She had overheard other girls talk about wanting to run their fingers through his locks. They were very pretty.

"Can I braid your hair?" She blurted. All four of the boys looked at her surprised. Remus raised an eyebrow, quill poised above whatever assignment he was checking over for Peter. Pete, for his part was gaping like a fish, whilst James was stealing glances at both his girlfriend and bestfriend. Sirius regarded her, eye calculating. Lily refused to look away from him. Now that she had asked she would not back down.

Finally, Sirius shrugged. "Why not?"

"Yay!" Lily couldn't help but squeal. "I'll be right back!" She ran to her dorm to grab her brush and hair ties. She couldn't help the smile on her face. Sirius was letting her braid his hair! This was fantastic!

Marlene and Dorcas jumped apart as Lily ran in, clothing ruffled and hair messy. Lily ignored them used to their antics. "Where's the fire?" Marlene asked.

"Don't ask her that!" Dorcas cried. "There might really be a fire!"

"No fire," Lily assured them. "Just excited!" She ran back out not caring what her friends thought. She practically jumped over the couch to sit behind Sirius.

He looked back at her, eyebrow raised. "You know this isn't that big of a deal right?"

"Shut us yes it is." She test ran her fingers through his hair. "Now I'm not very good at being gentle when it comes to brushing hair, so let me know if it hurts."

"I'll be fine," Sirius waved her off.

Lily's smile widened as she started brushing his hair. It was silky and so soft. There was a small bit of curl to it which she suspected helped with it's look. Sirius and James continued their planning while Lily worked perfectly content. She didn't even notice when she started humming, but she didn't really care.

Sirius leaned his head back. "That feel amazing," he admitted.

Lily laughed. "Glad you like it."

"Hmm," Sirius nodded slightly. "Do you practice on anyone?"

"Marlene lets me braid her hair sometimes, so does Alice. Dorcas' hair is too short. But Dorcas is really good at curling hair."

"Yeah?"

"She fantastic. Marlene's the best at getting volume, while Alice can french braid like nothing else."

Sirius scrunched his nose. "French braid?"

"It's closer to the head, like," she thought for a moment, "With normal braids, you start at the base of the neck but with french braids, you start farther up and close to the scalp."

"I don't get it," Sirius admitted.

"I'll show you later," Lily laughed, parting Sirius' hair into three strands.

"Ok," Sirius agreed.

Neither of them noticed that James was beaming.

A week later Lily was talking to her roommates, when the Marauders walked in. Lily wasn't sure she wanted to know what happened. Remus and Peter were fine but James and Sirius were covered in dirt and Sirius seemed to have the whole forest stuck in his hair.

"Oh, wow," Marlene laughed. "You guys look fabulous."

"Shut up," Sirius grumbled then sat directly in front of Lily. She blinked, confused. "Fix it," Sirius finally commanded.

"Padfoot," James scolded.

"Please," Sirius added.

Lily smiled. "Remus, can you bring me a trash can?" She gently took hold of a twig and prided it out of Sirius' hair. Remus set the trash can at her feet and she nodded her thanks.

"I'm gonna shower," James announced. Lily nodded once more and continued her task. She took no notice as the others left, Remus only returning for a second to hand her Sirius' brush. Sirius leaned back, his eyes closed. He sighed contently.

Lily had barely started to actually brush his hair when Sirius asked, "What are you humming?"

"What?"

"That song. I don't recognize it. You hummed it last time, too."

"Oh! It's Oh! Sing Sweet Nightingale. It's from Cinderella."

Sirius' eyes opened. "Cinderella?"

"Yeah, it's a Muggle fairy tale…" Lily started to explain.

"Yeah," Sirius interrupted. "I know that one. Remus told us."

"Oh?"

"It's my favorite," Sirius admitted.

"Really? Why?"

"Because she gets away in the end. She's free," Sirius smiled. "I like that part."

"I always liked the part where she went to the ball. They made a movie of it," she paused. "Do you know what a movie is?"

"Yeah, Moony showed us. He showed us Bambi. Prongs didn't like that one. Then we watched Pinocchio. That one's messed up."

"Yes, it is," Lily agreed.

"Then we watched this one about cats. It was newer."

"Aristocats?" Lily guessed.

"Probably," Sirius shrugged.

"The company that made those also made Cinderella."

"What?" Sirius pulled his head away, outraged. "Why didn't Remus show us that one? He knows I like that story!"

"Well, maybe you can come to my house after graduation and we can watch it?" Lily offered.

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, ok." He leaned back letting Lily brush once more.

"Anyways, my favorite part of the movie is when she goes to the ball. She's wearing this beautiful dress, and she and the prince are singing and it's magical."

"Do they sing the Nightingale song?"

"No," Lily laughed, "that one's earlier, when she's cleaning."

"Well, what do they sing at the ball?" Sirius whined, sounding like a child.

"Mm-hmm-mm," Lily hummed. "Mmm-hmm-mmm.

"So this is love, mm-hmm-mm-mm,

So this is love.

So this is what makes life, divine.

I'm all aglow, mm-hmm-mmm-mm,

And I know.

The key to all heaven, is mine.

My heart has wings, mm-hmm-mm-mm,

And I can fly.

I'll touch every star in the sky

So this is the miracle, that I've been dreaming of.

Mm-hmm-mm-mm, Mmm-hmm-mm-mm.

So this, is love."

Sirius smiled, softly. "I like that."

"Me too," Lily agreed.

All was silent for a while until Sirius whispered, "I don't hate you."

"I know," Lily smiled. "And I'm not trying to steal James away."

"I know," Sirius sighed. "It's just hard sometimes."

"I know," Lily paused to work on a particularly difficult knot. "I love him though, and I want him to be happy."

"Me too."

"And he wants you to be happy so I guess I can try to help with that."

"He wants you too be happy too," Sirius focused his gray eyes on her. "I'm not good at sharing him. I'm trying but… I feel like… Like I'm losing him somehow."

"I swear, you're not," Lily insisted.

"Promise you'll take care of him?"

"Until the very end," said Lily.

"Then I'll try to trust you," Sirius promised.

"That's all I ask," Lily smiled, gently kissing his forehead. She didn't notice that Sirius didn't flinch.


	10. Walburga's Love

Walburga Black did not want to hurt her eldest son. She truly didn't. It was his own fault. The boy was rebellious, stubborn, and proud. Unlike Regulus, Sirius did not respond to light discipline. He never did. So she did what she had to. Never anything too harsh. Locking him away in a closet for a time or a few light swats. He would behave but then his eyes would light up with that mischievous glint and the whole thing would start again.

She had hoped that Hogwarts would fix him. That as he spent time with the other Pureblooded Slytherins he would see the error of his ways and become easier to control. Instead, he got himself sorted into the wrong house. And the Blood traitors and Mudbloods pulled him even further down his dark path. So during the summers, she took more drastic measures. She would lock him up for days, starve him, use the worst curses she could think of. But he would just glare at her and rebel more. She was at her witts end.

And now here he stood daring her to punish him after she had caught him snogging a muggle. A boy no less. "Shame of my flesh," she muttered. "What were you thinking, boy?"

"That he was fit," Sirius smirked. "And it would be fun. It was, in case you were wondering."

"Never in all my years," she hissed. "You are never to…. What if someone had seen you?!"

"Lots of people saw me," Sirius shrugged. "Didn't bother them."

"Muggles don't matter!" She shrieked. "If one of the other families had seen you! You have a reputation to uphold Sirius!"

"What do any of them care? I'm basically a blood traitor aren't I?"

She slapped him, her rings leaving shallow cuts. "I will not have a blood traitor for a son!"

"Maybe I don't want to be your son," Sirius hissed.

She pulled out her wand, the words leaving her mouth almost before she thought them.

" _Crucio!"_

Sirius' screams were deafening. She had never gone that far before. When she lifted the curse, Sirius was panting, shaking in agony. "Ungrateful," she hissed, "Shame of my flesh." She dragged him by his hair. "You will not leave this home again until school begins." She made her way to the cupboard. "A few hours in here should do you some good."

"No!" Sirius screamed. "Stop, no!" She threw him in, locking the door behind him. Immediately his fists started pounding. "Let me out, please! You can't do this! Mother! MOTHER, PLEASE!"

Walburga closed her eyes, trying not to cry. ' _Show no weakness,'_ her own mother had once commanded. " _You are a Black."_

She sat, listening to her heir scream, and beg. Slowly he was reduced to sobs then silence. She stayed for every agonizing moment, letting it be etched into her memory. She would have to let Orion deal with this latest infraction. It was bad enough that it was a muggle, but male as well? What were they to do with him?

Orion was furious of course. After he finished Sirius could barely move. Kreacher was called to clean him up and place him in his room.

It wasn't until late that evening, whilst the house was dark, that Walburga allowed herself to be weak. She crept into her son's room, ignoring the glaring muggle posters, and the blatant red of the Gryffindor banner. She watched him sleep for a time.

Even in his sleep her son could find no peace. He was curled into a tight ball. Tense as if he expected an attack. He was muttering under his breath, his eyelids moving rapidly.

She sat down, running her hand through his soft hair. "Oh my boy," she whispered. "My sweet child."

Sirius shifted, letting out a soft moan.

"Shh," she murmured. "I'm here."

Sirius' eyes didn't open but he shifted closer, letting out one word.

"James."

Walburga froze. The Potter boy. He had done this. He had taken her son away. The Potters didn't deserve a child, an heir. They had waited too long. Not like her and Orion. They had tried. Merlin how they tried.

She had waited until Orion was out of school to get married. She was four years older, practically an old maid when they finally married. She was pregnant soon after and they were both overjoyed. But that joy did not last. Their first child, a son, was stillborn. Walburga was devastated.

But she was not deterred. They tried again and again. But time after time she miscarried. In the meantime, her younger brother, Cygnus, got Druella Rosier pregnant. To avoid a scandal they were married immediately and she delivered their first daughter.

Walburga was humiliated at Bellatrix's naming ceremony. There she was at thirty and unable to give her husband a child. She had suggested at that point that Orion take a mistress. Then at least he would have a child, even if the child was illegitimate. Orion refused, however, and they continued to struggle whilst Druella and Cygnus had two more daughters.

When Walburga discovered she was pregnant once more she became determined. This one would live. But he didn't make it easy. She was bedridden early on and could barely keep anything down. There was always a mediwizard at their home. Then, three months ahead of schedule, she went into labor. The mediwizards did everything they could but the baby would not be stopped. After 24 excruciating hours, her son was born, barely breathing.

"Save him!" She had screamed. "You have to save him! He has to live!"

Three hours later she heard Sirius cry for the first time. She still remembered holding him in her arms, marveling at her baby. Now here she was, fifteen years later, wishing she could change him. Wishing he would let himself be saved. But instead, he ran around with the very people who would get him killed. She was sure he would follow the Potter boy to an early grave.

"Why won't you listen to me?" She cried. "Why won't you let me keep you safe?"

Walburga loved her son, she truly did. He just wouldn't let her show it.


	11. Tradition

**Happy Halloween! Sorry about not updateing much but my ADD likes to act up. So instead I've been working on a few things not pertaining to this story but I've been trying to work on some of the ideas for this story. Anyways here's a Holiday themed chapter. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks for all the favorites and follows. It means a lot.**

* * *

 _Dearest James,_

 _I can't believe it's already been over a month! The house has been very quiet without you. And Hilly and Gypsy don't know what to do with themselves without all the work you provided. We've gotten a new house elf. His name is Parly. He's very sweet if a little over eager and clumsy. You'll like him._

 _Everyone's putting up Halloween Decorations. There have been some wonderful carvings this year. Your father is helping_ _Bathilda create a series of pumpkins that depict the Goblin wars. Frankly, they have gotten utterly ridiculous._

 _How have classes been, now that you're used to them? Do you still like Transfiguration? I hear Professor McGonagall is an excellent teacher. She's also an Animagus just accomplished it a few years ago. Very difficult magic._

 _I'm sorry to hear that Professor Bins is still so boring. Your father told me that he and a friend played a rather violent game of Exploding Snap in that class once and Professor Bins never noticed. And that was when he was still alive!_

 _Horace is a good man if a very shrewd Slytherin. Don't hold his house against him! Not all Slytherins are evil. You don't need to suck up to him but I would prefer he still likes you at the end of the year._

 _How are your friends doing? I hope they are all enjoying Gryffindor as much as you are. Also, we would love to meet all of them, regardless of their names. For Godric's sake, your uncle married a Black and she was perfectly wonderful. You remember Aunt Dorea. She was the one that would always sneak you chocolate frogs._

 _Stand by his side dear. Children can be cruel especially to someone they don't think belongs. Though if the hat put him there then that's where he belongs, make no mistake of that._

 _I must dash. I think you father blew up another pumpkin._

 _All my love,_

 _Your Adoring Mother_

 _Ps. He blew up five. Why did I marry that man?_

James chuckled as he finished reading the letter. Of course, his dad blew up the pumpkins. It wasn't Halloween until he did. He had to blow one up every year. The record was actually 12.

"Good letter then?" Sirius asked, studiously ignoring his own letter.

"Yep," James nodded. "Everythings good. Mum wants to know if my opinions on any of the classes have changed. And Dad blew up some pumpkins."

"Blew up pumpkins?" Sirius' eyebrows furled. "What?"

"Yeah, happens every year," James shrugged. "He's not good at carving them with magic. We usually do it the muggle way."

Remus perked up. "Realy? We always do too!"

"It's basically the best part of Halloween," James smiled.

"Mum usually helps me with it," Remus admitted.

"She must be really good at it, with her being muggle and all."

"She's horrible actually," Remus laughed. "She's about cut her fingers off a few times. Dad hates it."

"We tried carving pumpkins the muggle way one time," Peter piped up. "But Dad hated it, so we never tried again."

"That sucks," James lamented.

Remus patted Peter's arm in sympathy.

"What do you guys mean 'carving pumpkins the muggle way?'" Sirius interrupted.

"Oh, you use a knife," James explained. "Instead of magic."

"To do what?"

"Carve the pumpkin of course!" James laughed but his smile faded at Sirius' blank stare. "You have carved a pumpkin before, right?"

Sirius shook his head. "No."

"Why not?" Peter asked.

"Why would we?" Sirius fired back sounding defensive.

"It's a Halloween tradition," Remus explained kindly. "You clean the inside of a pumpkin out and then carve a face or a picture into it. Then you put a candle in it and put it out for decoration. Usually on the front porch."

"Oh," Sirius looked down at his partly eaten breakfast. "We don't really celebrate that much. Just Christmas and important birthdays. And births and weddings of course."

"That's ok," James assured him. "It's kind of hard anyways. And messy. I mean the carving doesn't always turn out the way you want and then you have pumpkin in your hair for a week."

"Yeah, sure," Sirius nodded moving the food around. Peter coughed awkwardly.

"So, Potions first then?" Remus asked.

Sirius' mood seemed to brighten later when some Slytherin on potions managed to make his potion explode which somehow caused the boy's hair to change multiple colors. The rest of the day was spent laughing and joking and having all the normal conversations that 11-year-olds had. James practically forgot about the morning's conversation.

He was in the common room with Remus and Peter going over some homework when he realized he'd left his transfiguration book upstairs. Again.

"You think you would have learned by now," Remus quipped when James told them.

"Bugger off," James rolled his eyes as he made his way to the dormitory. "I'll be right back."

He took the steps two at a time and almost didn't notice that Sirius was in the room. Almost. Sirius was sitting, arms resting on his knees staring blankly at an open letter.

"Sirius? You alright mate?"

Sirius blinked, silent gasp released. "James," he switched into a crossed legged position. "I didn't hear you. Forgot your transfiguration book again?"

James walked over and sat on the bed. "Sirius? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sirius denied looking at his lap. "I'm fine." He fidgeted with the ring he always wore.

James reached out and placed a hand on the parchment. "May I?"

Sirius merely shrugged, so James picked it up and read.

 _Sirius,_

 _How dare you! Bellatrix has informed us of the type of filth you have been consorting with. These interactions will cease immediately._

 _And why have you not talked to the old fool about fixing your sorting? Blacks do not belong in Gryffindor. They belong in Slytherin, the most respectable house. You are to correct this at once or there will be sure consequences._

 _Also, cease writing to Regulus. He does not need your wretched influence._

 _Walburga Black_

James stared horrified. He'd never actually read one of Sirius' letters so aside from that first howler he never knew what they said. What kind of mother said these things to her child? He looked up at Sirius, marveling at him. He had lived with this.

"I don't care about most of it," Sirius admitted. "It's all the same rubbish but…" He sighed. "Regulus is my little brother. I promised him I would write but I don't think she's letting him have any of the letters." He pulled his knees close once more and his face in his arms. "He's gonna think that I didn't care and he's gonna hate me."

"Sirius, I'm sorry," James couldn't think of anything else to say.

"It's stupid," Sirius muttered.

"No, it's not," James disagreed. "She's being awful. Does she actually think you can change houses? Do you even wanna change houses?"

"Of course not," Sirius shook his head. "You guys wouldn't be in Slytherin with me and it would suck."

"And I assume you're not gonna stop talking to us?"

Sirius looked up at him. "Never."

"Good," James nodded. "And we'll figure out some way to get the letters to your brother."

"Really?"

"Of course. What are friends for?"

Sirius smiled, then grimaced. "I want to hate or sometimes," he admitted, "but she's my mum."

"I'll hate her for you," James offered.

Sirius chuckled. "Won't do much good."

"Yeah," James agreed. "But I think it's the best I can do right now."

They sat in silence for a while, Sirius seeming to go into his own world. Meanwhile, James debated how to fix this. But he didn't know how they were supposed to make sure that Sirius' mother wouldn't grab the letters first.

James jumped a little when the door opened, and Remus and Peter entered.

"There you are," Remus proclaimed. "Thought you got lost for a second."

"What? Why?"

"You came up for your book about half an hour ago," Remus explained.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that," James admitted.

Remus' eyebrows furled. "Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine," Sirius muttered, finally moving the letter.

"Hey, you guys wanna hate Sirius' mother with me?" James asked.

"Sure," Remus plopped down on Sirius' bed.

"She seems scary," Peter said, remembering Sirius' first howler.

"That's an understatement," Sirius agreed.

"So it's agreed, we'll all hate your mother for you," James informed Sirius.

Sirius smiled. "You do that."

* * *

James was frustrated when two days later Sirius was still in a sour mood. He would go between being quiet and sad and snapping at everyone. Even teachers. He'd lost their house a few points for that.

James wouldn't care about that except for the fact that

a) his parents had tried to teach him to respect his elders, and he did, to a point.

B) Sirius was never popular with the other Gryffindors and the loss of points was making it worse.

And c) James did actually like and care about Sirius. And this perpetual sour mood was awful.

' _We have to do something_ ,' James wrote to Remus in History of Magic. Sirius was blocking everything out and staring at the window.

Remus showed the note to Peter, then wrote back, ' _I agree. But what?_ '

' _It would help if we knew what he was so upset about in that letter,_ ' Peter added in his messy scribble.

' _I told you that's private,_ ' James wrote. ' _That stays between me and him. I can't betray him like that._ '

' _We know,_ " Remus rolled his eyes. ' _It just frustrating trying to solve a problem without all of the information._ '

' _Maybe we can just distract him?_ ' Peter offered.

' _How?_ ' James asked.

It was Remus who finally figured out a distraction. He was beaming as he rushed into the common room that Saturday. Peter and James were playing exploding snap whole Sirius dulled on the couch.

"Where's the fire?" James asked.

"Hagrid is carving pumpkins for the great hall and when I asked he said we can help!" Remus blurted out.

"Wait, really?" James perked up. "The muggle way?"

Remus nodded. "The muggle way!"

"Yes," James cheered. "Come on Sirius! You have to try this!"

Sirius blinked slowly at them. "Why? It's just some stupid holiday tradition."

"Because it's fun, and you've never done it so you have to," James explained.

"Come on Sirius, please," Remus begged.

"It'll be really fun," Peter promised.

"Fine, whatever," Sirius grumbled.

They made their way down to Hagrid's hut. Hagrid was outside, working on cleaning a pumpkin out. His new puppy ran over to the boys jumping up at them, slobbering. Sirius couldn't help but smile and pick the little thing up.

"There ya are," Hagrid smiled, "I was starting to think you weren't gonna show up."

"Hey Hagrid," James greeted. "Remus said that you said that we could help carve."

"Of course," Hagrid agreed. "It's nice to have an extra hand, or four. Any of you ever do it the muggle way before?"

"Yes," came three voices. Sirius was trying to distract himself with Frank.

"Sirius hasn't ever carved a pumpkin before," James explained.

"That's alright," Hagrid boomed. "There has to be a first time for everything. Come here." He lead them to more pumpkins. "Now what you do first is cut a hole in the top. You'll want to angle the knife inward like I did here, so when it's put back on the top doesn't fall in."

"Ok," Sirius nodded.

"Then we're gonna clean out the insides of the pumpkins. Make sure you boys put it in the big pail here. The house elves use it."

"Got it!" James agreed.

"House elves?" Remus questioned quietly.

"Then you carve out a picture on the front," Hagrid explained to Sirius.

"Ok, I think I got it," Sirius scratched Frank's head absentmindedly.

They got to work quickly. Though Peter and Remus were careful to place all the pumpkin guts in the pail Sirius and James had more fun throwing it at each other. Hagrid only scolded them about it once when James misfired and it almost hit Frank.

Hagrid eventually pulled out some smaller and more stylised knives. "Good for detail work," he explained. He also passed out some muggle markers. "Draw your design first then cut it out."

Sirius stared blankly at the hollow vegetable. Cave a picture? Like what? He looked at the other Marauders who were happily hacking their pumpkins. It seemed a rather violent pastime.

He stood up and walked around his friends. James was doing an owl that was misshapen. The beak was to big and the wings didn't match.

Remus was just doing a face. With triangle eyes and sharp teeth. "It's an old classic," Remus shrugged. "I'm not the most artistic, or ambitious." He glanced at James' creation.

Sirius went over to Peter's to see… A very impressive couple of rats. Two of them were outlined while one was cut out entirely.

"Why rats?" Sirius asked.

Peter shrugged. "My Mum raises them. They're not that bad."

"Little weird but, ok," Sirius shrugged moving on to see Hagrid's.

His current pumpkin had a dragon. He'd also made some with the different house crests on them and one that had a hippogryph.

"Do they have to be complicated?" Sirius asked.

"Nah," Hagrid smiled. "I've been doing this for years. You can be a simple as you look or as complicated as you'd like."

"I don't know what to do," Sirius admitted.

"Well," Hagrid thought for a moment. "Is there anything that makes you really happy? Maybe you could do something based off of that?"

Sirius looked at his friends. They were fantastic. He knew he had been awful the past few days. It was just that Reg was his world before school. To have no contact with him made everything his parents were trying to force so much worse. But he didn't have the talent for that.

He sat down in front of the pumpkin. What else made him happy? Being in Gryffindor was great, despite people hating him for his family. He liked charms but how did you carve that? He liked animals. He'd always wanted to have a pet but his parents always refused. He didn't even have an owl. He had been sent with an old family owl. No need to have extra owls which were actually useful. But of course, a Snidget, which he was pretty sure was illegal to own, was completely necessary.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as Frank licked his hand. He laughed petting the little puppy. They had officially met Hagrid because of the little puppy who had interrupted one of their few homework sessions they did outside. Hagrid didn't mind them visiting and playing with Frank. And the boys made sure to visit with Hagrid and try to not eat any of his cakes.

He could try a dog. He sketched a basic outline which looked too small. Well, he could add in a moon. There that would work.

James eventually came over to see how Sirius was doing. "Hey, that's great! You sure this is your first time?"

"Yeah," Sirius smiled. "You were right. This is fun."

"Told ya," James sat beside Sirius and watched him carve some more.

"Hey, James?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." James turned to look at Sirius. "For putting up with me. And for hating my Mum. That's pretty great."

"Hey, whatever you need," James threw an arm over Sirius' shoulder. Sirius grimaced and immediately threw James off. James shrugged it off. "And we'll figure out how to get your letters to your brother."

"How?"

"No idea," James admitted. "But we're wizards. We can fix anything."

"Yeah," Sirius smiled. "I think you can."


	12. The Ring

**I barely got this done on time. Whoo! Happy birthday to Sirius Black! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Sirius? Sirius? Wake up!"

Sirius groaned snuggling deeper into his pillow. "No, not yet."

"Sirius!" The voice laughed. "You're 11 today!"

11? Oh yeah!

Sirius sat up so fast he almost knocked Regulus off the bed. He caught his little brother last minute.

"It's finally here!" Sirius cheered. "Did I miss it?"

Regulus shook his head. "No owls yet," he reported. Then he handed over a little bag. "I made you something."

Sirius smiled and opened the present delicately. Inside was a misshapen little clay dragon with emerald green eyes.

"It's perfect," Sirius declared. "Thank you, Reg."

Regulus beamed at his older brother. "Really?"

"Yeah," Sirius confirmed.

The door open and their mother stepped in, already dressed in emerald green robes. "So you're awake already. Get dressed and come down for breakfast my sons."

"Yes Mother," both boys obeyed quickly.

Today's breakfast was crepes which made Sirius excited. He loved fruit as it was the only sweet thing the Black children allowed to have. Also, there was no fish. Eleventh birthdays were great.

"We'll be going to your Grandfather's tonight," Walburga informed them. "The rest of the family will be there as well."

Sirius looked up surprised. "Everyone? Why?"

"It's your eleventh birthday," Walburga said as if that would explain everything.

"We didn't do that for anyone else's birthday though," Sirius protested. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his family, at least Uncle Alphard was always fun to see. The thing was he was a little terrified of his Grandfather Arcturus.

"You are the heir to the family, Sirius," Orion cut in. "As such your eleventh birthday holds more significance than the other children's."

"Oh, right," Sirius looked back down at his food, suddenly less excited. Why was he more important? Just because he was the firstborn son? He hadn't even done anything yet. He hadn't even been sorted into Slytherin yet. He glanced across the table at Regulus and felt even worse.

Regulus looked like he was trying not to cry. He was second born. So, of course, he wasn't as important. Just the spare. Thus he didn't matter unless Sirius was out of the way.

He changed his mind. He hated being eleven.

* * *

They were sitting outside, watching the sky. His letter should be here soon.

Sirius looked over at Regulus. The younger boy had never been very good at hiding his emotions. He was curled into himself, eyes far too shiny, not really focusing anywhere.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said.

"For what?" Regulus looked over at him.

"I don't want to be more important," Sirius admitted. "I think I'd rather be like Uncle Alphard but instead I was born first."

"It's not your fault," Regulus shrugged. "Besides you're the heir."

"I don't want to be," Sirius sighed. "But I can't really escape it can I?"

"No," Regulus agreed.

"Shame," Sirius muttered.

"Why would you want to escape it?"

"It feels..." Sirius paused, unsure. "Suffocating. Everyone just expects certain things that I can't live up to."

"I don't understand," Regulus admitted.

"Course you don't. You're not supposed to." Sirius rested his arms on his knees.

"Why not?" Regulus whined. "Just because you're older…"

"Reg, no," Sirius stopped him. "It's a good thing you don't understand. I don't wish this on anybody. It's a horrible feeling."

"Oh." All was silent until Regulus cried out, "There! That has to be it!"

"Good eye, Little Prince," Sirius stood up. The owl landed gracefully on his outstretched arm. "You might be a Seeker someday."

"Really?"

"Why not?" Sirius offered the owl a treat before letting it fly off.

"What about you?" Regulus asked. "What position will you be?"

"I don't know," Sirius shrugged. "I'm happy just watching."

"But you have to play," Regulus insisted, following Sirius into the house. "It won't be fun without you."

Sirius laughed. "I doubt that, but if you insist." They entered the living room where their parents waited.

"So, it's arrived?" Walburga smiled.

"Yes Mother," Sirius nodded.

Orion folded his newspaper and placed it down. "Well, go on. Open it."

Sirius barely stopped himself from ripping open the letter. He skimmed the information about the headmaster. (Order of Merlin, blah, blah, blah, Supreme Mugwump, don't care.)

"Dear Mr. Black," He read aloud. "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall. Deputy Headmistress."

"Newly appointed no doubt," Walburga commented, sneering. "Filthy half-blood."

"Regardless, Hogwarts well still offer you the best education," Orion cut in. "Well done Sirius."

Sirius couldn't suppress his smile at the rare compliment. "Thank you, Father," He bowed.

"You're both dismissed."

"Yes, Father," both boys said and hurried out.

"What did you do?" Regulus asked.

"I don't know," Sirius admitted. "Just got born with magic, I guess."

Regulus screwed up his face. "I'm glad you're not a squib."

"Me too," Sirius agreed.

* * *

The boys spent the rest of the day together since lessons were canceled. They threw a Quaffle back and forth in the backyard and explored the old house some more. Sirius told Regulus a few stories here and there and they read his letter over and over. They talked about what they would do when they were both at Hogwarts.

All too soon, evening came and they dressed in their best robes. Sirius tried not to fidget in the stifling robes. Curse being the heir. They wouldn't have to do this when Regulus turned eleven.

Not that it really mattered. He would be at school then. He took a hold of his father's arm, preparing himself for the uncomfortable feeling of apparition.

Then they were in front of his Grandfather's home. It always felt more foreboding than Sirius' own home. He suspected most of that was his Grandfather. One of the elves opened the door for them and then they were in the parlor.

"Finally," Melania black stood from her chair. "I was beginning to think you had forgotten."

"Never Mother," Orion assured, taking both of the woman's hands in his own and kissing them. "Father." He gave a slight bow to Arcturus.

The old man just nodded.

Walburga went over to speak to her own parents, Pollux and Irma, leaving the boys to stand awkwardly.

"Don't just stand there!" Melina snapped. "Come here." The boy immediately obeyed, standing perfectly still as she scrutinized them. "Such scrawny things," she chided. "Aren't they eating enough, Walburga?"

"Of course they are," Walburga glared at her Mother in Law. "They'll grow."

"Not fast enough."

"They're only children, Aunt Melina." Everyone turned to see that Alphard had entered. "They'll grow."

Sirius had to stop himself from running to his favorite Uncle. Not that it mattered, cause Alphard came to him.

"Happy Birthday Sirius," Alphard handed him a medium package.

"Thank you," Sirius beamed. He looked to his father for permission, who nodded. Minding his training, he opened the present carefully. It was an intricate chess set, each of the pieces were different creatures. "It's beautiful," Sirius gushed. "Thank you." He bowed.

"You're welcome," Alphard smiled. He turned and crouched down to Regulus' height. "And I know it's not your birthday, but I figured you could use something as well." He reached into his robes and produced a new Gobstone set.

Regulus beamed. "Thank you, Uncle Alphard!"

"You spoil the boys," Melina tisked.

Alphard shrugged. "I have none of my own to spoil."

"That is your own fault," Pollux glared at his middle child. "Plenty of good pureblooded girls for you to choose from. Even now."

"Enough," Arcturus silenced him. "Today is a day for celebration."

Pollux grumbled under his breath.

Other members of the family slowly entered. A few brought gifts for the heir. A few brought their own children. Including Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella.

Bellatrix sneered at them, Narcissa giving a polite nod. Andromeda ignored formality and hugged both of the boys.

"It's so good to see you both! It's been so long!" She gushed.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked. "Don't you have school?"

"Siri, you're the heir," Andromeda explained. "Your eleventh birthday is almost as important as your seventeenth. Of course, we're here. You should have seen Bella when she found out. She was livid."

"All this just for being the heir," Sirius looked out at everyone talking. "Why does it have to be such a big deal."

"Because we're old-fashioned wankers," Alphard explained, walking up to the children.

"Uncle Alphie!" Andromeda scolded, laughing. "Language!"

"They'll be hearing worse than that soon enough," Alphard shrugged. "But just in case, no one tells the grown-ups." Alphard winked. Sirius and Regulus nodded, giggling.

"In all seriousness though, being the heir is a big deal. But that's only because we place such importance on it." He crouched down to Sirius height, placing a hand on his shoulder. "A lot will be expected of you because of who your father is and when you were born. But you don't have to let that change who you are. Do you understand?"

"Not really," Sirius admitted.

"There is no such thing as destiny, Sirius," Alphard explained. "What there is is choice. That's what governs us, what makes us who we are. Not some predetermined fate."

Sirius thought for a moment. "Are you happy with all of your choices?"

"No," Alphard admitted, his eyes darkening. "No one is. That's part of life. An awful part, but one we can't avoid."

"I'm sorry."

Alphard smiled. "Thank you. But it's not your fault. Now, I think it's time for dinner."

Dinner was good. Still no fish. A salad and then Lamb Chops. It was almost easy to ignore the adults' normal talk.

"So he's going by a new name?" Lucretia, Orion's sister, asked.

"Lord Voldemort," Druella, Bellatrix's mother, confirmed.

"Ridiculous," Orion chimed in. "That little half-blood is lord of nothing."

"But he has the right idea of how to deal with the muggle problem," Cygnus defended. "Besides the whole point of changing his name is to distance himself from his less than desirable heritage."

"He's too extreme," Alphard argued.

"Silence boy," Pollux commanded. "These vermin have plagued us far too long. Soiling our pure blood. Araminta has the right idea. How is that bill coming?"

"Dismissed again," Araminta sneered. "It's like they think the muggles are actually useful. That they should have rights and be protected."

"Lord Voldemort would make hunting them legal," Lucretia cheered. Her husband sat silently beside her, fingers white.

"Muggle-borns are just as talented at magic as any Purebloods," Alphard argued.

"Hardley," Bellatrix sneered. "Tricksters and thieves, all of them. Thies filthy Mudbloods."

"That's enough," Arcturus ordered before Alphard could say anything. "Save this conversation for another occasion. Tonight is too important for idle arguments."

There was murmured agreement around the table and Sirius felt a pit in his stomach once more. Why did he have to be so important?

Eventually, they all returned to the parlor. Arcturus sat in his chair, Orion standing beside him. Everyone else took a place around the room. Walburga stood near the door, her hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"Come forward boy," Arcturus commanded.

Sirius took a deep breath and complied. He felt all their eyes on him. He felt the chains that were always there, ready to tighten. To suffocate him. He stopped in front of his grandfather and bowed.

"Sirius Orion Black," Arcturus began. "Firstborn of Orion Arcturus Black. You are the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Today begins your true preparation as heir. One day you will lead this family in triumph and glory. You were named after the brightest star in the night sky. Let your leadership shine like a light in the future you will inherit."

Sirius shivered at the words. He didn't want this. He couldn't lead them. He couldn't.

He was eleven for crying out loud.

"Do you accept the duty as heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?" Arcturus continued.

"Yes," Sirius answered.

"Do you accept the responsibility for the well being of all who reside in this family?"

"Yes."

"Will you do all in your power to keep our blood pure, whatever the cost?"

What was so bad about muggles, muggle-born, and half-bloods? What made them less pure?

"Yes," Sirius agreed.

"Orion, the ring," Arcturus commanded. Orion removed the beautiful ring from his finger. It was made of Stephanite. The ring had many details that Sirius could never make out, old runes he supposed. Coiled loosely around the ring was two snakes. They guarded the jewel the lay in the ring.

Sirius had asked his father about it once. "The ring changes color when the wearer reaches his seventeenth birthday," his father explained. "It changes to reflect the person. For my father, it was as black as the purest night."

The ring was green now. Sickly, horrifyingly green. The same green he would wear for the next seven years.

Orion handed the ring over to his father. Arcturus held out his hand for Sirius. "Your left hand."

Sirius reached out, trying desperately not to cringe away.

"This ring seals your promise, and your future as the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black," Arcturus explained. "Do you accept this future?"

No. He didn't want this. The chains would be worse. He didn't want the chains.

He would be sick tonight. He knew it.

"Yes," he agreed. "I accept the role as the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

Arcturus slide the ring onto Sirius' finger. "Toujours Pur."

"Toujours Pur." Sirius agreed. His father turned him to face the rest of the family.

"Toujours Pur," They all echoed. He felt the ring tighten on his finger.

He would never escape.


	13. Chains: The Owl

**Yay! New chapter! So I've been working on this one for a while and it got long. Long enough to warrant chapters. So the next four chapters will all be part of the same story. On the bright side, that means regular updates for the next fourish weeks. Call it an early Christmas present. Now without further ado-**

Chains: The Owl

* * *

He could feel them tightening, suffocating. They were pulling him.

Destiny.

Fate.

Family.

No escape.

No escape.

Sirius' eyes shot open. He was in their room. Gryffindor tower. He was away, free. He didn't have to worry about the chains here.

He looked at the ring. He could feel the old magic in it. Always there. A soft reminder of who he was. What he had agreed to.

He slipped it off, reading the inside.

Toujours Pur.

One chain he could never escape. Eventually, Hogwarts would end and he would have to take his place in the family. He would have to be the heir they expected.

"Sirius?" He heard Remus call. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," Sirius replaced the ring.

"We've got about an hour till breakfast."

"Ok," Sirius rolled over and opened the curtains. Everything was in the normal chaotic state. Peter was stumbling around, half asleep still. James was apparently looking for something under his bed, but he wasn't moving. Remus, in contrast, was fully awake and had gone back to his area to look over some homework.

Sirius stumbled out of bed and into his routine. Some habits were harder to stop than others. It didn't take him long to be able to sleep past 6 in the morning. However, he was still particular about how he groomed himself. Years of lessons would do that to you. Blacks were never allowed to look off, even when ill.

"You hogging the bathroom again?" James grumbled, coming in.

"It's not hogging if all of you can come in as well," Sirius explained.

"Yeah, but you take forever," James complained. "You're like a bloody girl."

"James, don't use 'girl' as an insult," Remus chided.

"Well, he is," James defended.

"Everyone's different," Remus shrugged.

"Yeah. Some people prefer their hair to not look like a rats nest," Sirius smirked.

"It does not look like a rat's nest," James protested. "It looks cool."

"No it doesn't," Sirius disagreed, walking out of the bathroom. Shirt smoothed down and tucked in, tie straight, shoes were neatly polished. Finally, he was done. He looked around the room, eyes landing on Peter who was mostly dressed but had managed to fall asleep again.

"Come on Pete, up and at them," Sirius poked the other boy with his foot.

"I'm awake!" Peter protested, sitting up.

"Late night?" Sirius asked.

"No," Peter shook his head. "Weird dreams though."

"Hmm?"

"We were all in the forbidden forest running around."

"Sounds normal enough."

"Yeah, but we were all animal crackers. And then Hagrid came in but he was flying with butterfly wings and Frank could talk. And he told us that the porcelain god was angry and was going to send us to Candy Mountain as punishment," Peter explained.

"What did I just miss?" James asked. He and Remus had re-entered the room during Peter's explanation.

"Didn't you hear?" Remus asked walking around him. "We're being sent to Candy Mountain because we angered the porcelain god."

"It was a dream," Peter explained.

"No more candy before bed for you," James declared.

"Aww."

"Now come on. Breakfast awaits!"

Sirius gave a customary glance at the Slytherin table when he walked in. Bellatrix was sneering at her kingdom. Narcissa was giggling at something Malfoy said. No doubt they would be betrothed soon. Andromeda was looking over one of her textbooks. She must have felt his stare because she looked up, sending a small smile when she caught his eye.

The Gryffindor table was more inviting now. They seemed to have realized he was not going away so begrudgingly accepted him. Everything was going smoothly until the owls came.

"Who does that owl belong to?"

"I've never seen it before."

"Looks kinda scary. Must be a Slytherin's."

Sirius looked up, curious what everyone was talking about. Everything seemed to fade away when he saw the owl.

Oh no.

"Scary looking, ain't it Sirius?" James looked over when Sirius didn't answer. "Sirius? You ok?"

All the color had drained from his face, and he was perfectly still, watching the creature. It was almost as if it carried a death sentence. James glanced over at the Slytherin table and saw that the other three Blacks had the same expression.

The huge black owl glided in gracefully, circling the room once, twice, three times. It's sharp eyes watched the now silent room. All the other owls flew away from it, self-preservation ruling them. The bird swooped down, not even bothering to land as it dropped the letter neatly in front of Sirius. With a loud cry, that James swore sounded like death itself, the bird left.

Sirius stared at the letter.

No.

No no no.

Why had he written?

What did he want?

The chains were tightening, suffocating.

"Sirius?" James asked. This seemed worse than the howler. Sirius honestly looked like he had just died. Or was close to it.

"Sirius?" Remus reached out a hand. Sirius flinched back, violently. He stared at all of his friends, eyes wide.

He couldn't get away. Couldn't get away.

Why couldn't he escape?

He looked down at the seal. The Black coat of arms with Toujours Pur written under it. The wax looked like blood to Sirius.

What had he done?

Bellatrix came over, Narcissa and Andromeda trailing. "What does Grandfather want cousin?" Bellatrix asked gleefully. "You must have done something _awful_ for him to write."

"Shove off Black," James said, as Sirius seemed unable to defend himself.

"Such disrespect," Bellatrix shook her head in mocking shame. "You have not been trained very well, have you? Parents too old for that sort of thing?"

"That's enough, Bella," Andromeda cut it. She sat down next to Sirius. "Siri? Are you ok?"

Sirius shook his head. He couldn't even try to touch the stupid thing.

Why had he written?

"It's best to just get it over with," Narcissa said. She looked sick, crossing her arms to hide her shaking hands.

"Right," Sirius agreed. But he still couldn't move.

Andromeda rubbed his back. "You can do it, Siri."

Sirius shook his head. He couldn't.

Bellatrix snickered.

Narcissa finally reached out with shaking hands and opened the seal. She handed the letter to Sirius, dropping the envelope immediately. She retracted her hand the moment Sirius took the paper.

Sirius forced himself to take a deep breath and read the short letter.

' _Enough games. Go to the headmaster and have your sorting corrected at once. You have a duty to uphold.'_

It was not signed. It didn't need to be. Sirius curled into himself a little. The Sorting. That stupid hat. Making him hope that everything would work out. That he would be ok. He ran before his stomach could rebel.

"Sirius!?" James cried, standing to follow.

"No," Andromeda stopped him. "We'll take care of this."

James looked after his friend, then at the Black sisters. "Are you sure?"

"Of course," Andromeda nodded, standing. "It's a family matter." She turned to her older sister. "You go back to the Slytherin table."

Bellatrix's face darkened. "Excuse me? How dare you.."

"You'll only make things worse, Bella," Narcissa cut in. "And it's bad enough as it is."

"I see how it is," Bellatrix glared. "Fine." She returned to the snake pit, head held high.

Andromeda and Narcissa left as well, hurrying after Sirius.

"Is he gonna be ok?" Peter finally asked.

"I don't think so," James admitted, sitting back down. He couldn't eat anything else for the rest of breakfast.

"Where would he go?" Narcissa asked her older sister.

"Bathroom?" Andy suggested, leading the way.

It didn't take them long to find him. He hadn't actually made it to the bathroom and was instead hunched over in an abandoned classroom.

"Oh, Sirius," Andromeda knelt beside him. "It's ok."

Sirius was holding his stomach sobbing. "I didn't mean for this to happen," he cried. "I-I didn't mean to make him mad."

"Oh sweetie, it's ok," Andy promised. She rubbed his back. "That hat chose this, not you."

He didn't answer, not wanting to admit the truth. Narcissa closed the door and locked it. She then sat on the other side of Sirius. "Come here," she said, opening her arms to him.

Sirius didn't care that it was a trick. He wanted the comfort. He curled into Narcissa's embrace.

"Everything is going to be ok," she promised. "Just do whatever Grandfather asked and it will be ok again."

"But what if it's not?" Sirius asked.

"It will be," Narcissa insisted.

Andromeda watched the exchange and silently vanished the vomit away. They would put their masks back on later. For now, they would act like a family.

* * *

Three days later Sirius told his friends to go on ahead after Transfiguration.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"I need to talk to Professor McGonagall real quick," Sirius explained.

"We can wait for you," James offered.

"No. I'll catch up later," Sirius insisted.

James stared at his friend for a moment. Sirius was paler than usual with dark bags forming under his eyes. That letter had rattled him and had thrown off the group's easy dynamic. "Ok," he finally agreed. "We'll see you in the common room?"

Sirius nodded waving him off. He waited while another student went over a wand movement again with McGonagall. Finally when he was the only one left he approached her. "Professor?"

"Yes? What is it Black?" she looked at him, expectantly. "Did you have a question about the lesson?"

"No," Sirius shook his head. "Nothing like that. I um…" He swallowed. "I was wondering if there was a way to change my house assignment."

McGonagall sighed as if she had been expecting this. "Mr. Black, it's November."

"I know."

"Is there something wrong with Gryffindor?"

"No," Sirius admitted.

"Did your housemates say something?"

"No," Sirius looked down at the floor.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow, studying him. "Do you feel like you don't belong in Gryffindor?"

"I…" He wanted to belong. James said he belonged. "That's not it."

"Then there is no reason to bother changing your house," McGonagall declared.

"But I…"

"That is my final word on the subject," McGonagall sat behind her desk.

"Professor please," Sirius begged. "I have to try!"

Professor McGonagall analyzed the boy in front of her. There was no reason to give in as far as she could see. The question came up occasionally from various students. This seemed different though. The boy was obviously desperate. He looked near tears. She remembered him running out the Great Hall after that horrid owl had delivered its letter. He and two of the Black Sisters had missed half their classes that day.

She didn't understand pureblood culture. But she did understand that most of the old families were very private and proud. There were forces at work here that she wasn't privy to.

"Very well," she finally agreed. "I'll talk to Dumbledore about it. But if he says no then I don't want you to argue. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you," Sirius fell into old habits, bowing. He blushed a little as he stood back up.

McGonagall chuckled. "You should go be with your friends."

"Right, thank you." Sirius turned to leave. "Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Did you like having a muggle as a father?"

She was taken aback by the question. How the young Gryffindor knew that she wasn't pureblooded she didn't know, nor did it matter. "It was complicated," she finally admitted. "My father is a good man. But his beliefs made some things difficult."

"I see," Sirius murmured. "I'm sorry Professor. If it helps, it's not easy having a wizard for a father."

"No," she chuckled. "I suppose not. Go on now."

"Yes, ma'am." She watched as he retreated, feeling that this was far from over.

* * *

 _Dear Mother,_

 _I have spoken to Professor McGonagall who spoke to Professor Dumbledore. Unfortunately, there is nothing they can do about my sorting. Please give Father and Regulus my regard._

 _Your loyal son,_

 _Sirius Orion Black_


	14. Chains: Forbidden Comfort

**And Part 2! There are 4 parts to this so we are halfway there. Thanks to everyone who's reveiwed, favorited, and followed thus far. It helps alot.**

* * *

Chains: Forbidden Comfort

It had been two weeks and Sirius was finally getting back to normal. James was rather pleased with this as his friend had been very twitchy lately, always scanning when the owls came. He had even skipped breakfast altogether some days. He went between being extremely withdrawn to lashing out at everyone.

Poor Peter got the brunt of Sirius' misguided anger. Followed closely by James, who was not good at leaving stuff alone. Remus somehow got out of it, almost as if he had a sixth sense telling him when to back off. He had even managed to get Peter away from some of the anger. But not James. James was on his own.

Now though, Sirius was laughing at something sarcastic Remus had muttered. James smiled at the sound, hoping the last few weeks were far behind them. He still didn't know what that letter said or who had sent it. But he hated them. Just add them to the list of horrid Blacks.

"It's back," someone whispered.

James felt a sudden pit. He search the ceiling but the bird wasn't there. He checked the Slytherin table. Nothing. Finally he spotted the owl standing on the back of Dumbledore's chair.

Dumbledore was reading over the note that the bird had delivered, an eyebrow raised. James turned to try to distract Sirius but it was too late. His gray eyes were trained on Dumbledore.

Dumbledore looked up from the note and gazed over his students, eyes finally landing on Sirius. Sirius looked down and pushed his barely touched plate away. "Why can't they leave it be?" He muttered.

Remus reached out then stopped himself. "It's gonna be ok," he promised.

"No. It's not." Sirius stood swiftly, walking out of the room.

"What do we do?" Peter asked.

"Whatever we can," James stood and went after Sirius, Remus and Peter following close behind. They searched the corridors for a long while, careful that no teacher would see them.

"This is pointless," Peter finally groaned, sitting on the ground.

"We have to try," James argued.

"We did. We can't find him. Maybe we can send his cousins after him again?" Peter suggested.

"No," James growled. "We're his friends. We should be able to do this. There's got to be a better way to do this." James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "If only we had a guaranteed way to find him. Like a tracking spell, or a special map, or..."

"He's at Hagrid's," Remus interrupted.

James and Peter turned to Remus. "What?"

Remus pointed out the window. "He's right there." James hurried to look out the window and sure enough the young Black sat on the steps of Hagrid's hut. He looked miserable, curled into himself. James hurried out of the castle, not caring if anyone followed.

Frank had curled up next to Sirius. He let out a small whine. Sirius reached out and pet him. Hagrid looked up from his whitling when James ran up. James slowed down and watched Sirius for a while. Hagrid smiled, and left, giving them space.

"Sirius?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius muttered.

"Ok," James agreed, sitting beside him. "Is Frank helping?"

"A little," Sirius admitted. "I always wanted a pet, but Mother and Father refused."

"We just had an owl," James smiled. "He was fine, but he couldn't do any tricks."

"Hmm," Sirius nodded. "Mother has a Snidget."

"Woah, really?" James gasped. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Probably," Sirius shrugged. "They don't care."

"I'd love to see it," James admitted.

Sirius smiled a little. "Maybe some day. But they'd never let you in."

"I'll sneak in," James declared.

Sirius chuckled slightly. He leaned against James, before sighing.

"What happened?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head. "I can't James."

"Please, let me help," James begged.

Sirius shook his head again. James sighed looking up as Remus and Peter finally came into view. Remus came forward and sat on the other side of Sirius, reaching out gently.

"Sirius? What can we do?"

Sirius shook his head again. "You can't do anything. I can't get away."

"You can," James disagreed. "We'll help you."

"You can't do anything. No one can do anything."

* * *

"Mr Black, a moment please."

Sirius turned to look at Professor McGonagall. He tried to remember if he had done anything in the past few days. Nothing. The only thing of note was the owl this morning. Oh.

"Do you want us to wait for you?" James asked.

"No," Sirius shook his head. "I'll catch up after."

"Ok," James agreed. "We'll save you a seat."

"Sure," Sirius agreed. He waited while the room emptied before he approached his head of house. "What is it Professor?"

"A letter came from your grandfather this morning," Professor McGonagall explained.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, paling.

"He has requested a meeting with Dumbledore to discuss your sorting."

"But you said nothing can be done."

McGonagall crouched to his level. "Nothing can. The Sorting Hat choses once, unless there is a true emergency. You're house assignment will not change. You are a Gryffindor. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," Sirius lied.

McGonagall sighed and lead Sirius into her office. "Have a seat." She waited until Sirius sat down and then took a seat next to him. "Now, from what Dumbledore explained, your Grandfather is the head of your family?"

"Yes," Sirius nodded, looking at the floor.

"As such, old tradition states that he is allowed to, for lack of a better word, meddle in his descendants schooling. Am I right so far?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"So, since he has requested an audience to discuss your sorting, Dumbledore has seen fit to honor old tradition and agreed to the meeting. The Headmaster will be meeting with your Grandfather as well as your parents. It has also been requested that you attend."

"Requested?" Sirius asked, looking up at McGonagall. "By who?"

"By your grandfather," his teacher clarified.

"It's not a request." Sirius glared back down at the floor.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Grandfather does not make requests. He makes orders. We have no choice. I have no choice." Sirius slumped down, almost broken. McGonagall almost didn't hear Sirius whispered, "I hate him."

Sometimes Minerva McGonagall wished she didn't teach. Oddly it was never because a student grated on her nerves or she was tired of grading papers or a dislike of her colleges or anything like that. No, it was because of moments like this when she didn't know how to help a student. When she had no power to protect them because of an old ridiculous society that was run by old power, bigotry, and fear.

She grabbed a tin and held it out to Sirius. "Have a biscuit." Sirius looked up surprised. He looked down at the tin, then back up at her, then at the tin. "Go on," she nodded. "Have one." Sirius reached out hesitantly and took a biscuit." He nibbled on it for a moment.

"I don't want to be a Slytherin," Sirius admitted. "I like being a Gryffindor. I like my friends, and I like.. I like feeling free. I know it's not real but I want it to be. I want to belong here."

"You do belong in Gryffindor," McGonagall insisted. "No matter what anyone says you belong here."

"Doesn't matter," Sirius shook his head. "Grandfather always get his way. When is the meeting?"

"Wednesday, after lunch," McGonagall said. "I'll come to collect you once your family arrives."

"Alright," Sirius nodded, standing. "I need to get to Potions."

"Very well," McGonagall sighed. "I've already informed Slughorn that you would be late."

"Thank you," Sirius nodded.

"Mr Black," McGonagall stopped him. "If you need to talk, my door is open."

"Right, thank you," Sirius slunked out of the room. McGonagall stood and looked out the window, unsure of how to best help her student.

* * *

"I don't think he's coming," Remus sighed.

James glared down into his cauldron. "Why won't he talk to us?" James growled. "What's the point of having friends if you don't let them help you?"

Remus looked away, fidgeting. "I'm sure he has his reasons."

"Whatever it is it's not good enough," James grabbed his wand and started to angrily stir the potion. "The whole point of having friends is that they can be there to help each other."

"Um, James…" Peter tried to cut in.

"But no, Sirius won't let us help," James stirred the potion faster. "He has to be all 'I can handle this on my own.' 'It's a family thing.'"

"James," Remus tried, as the potion started to bubble.

"And then there's his cousins with their whole 'it's a family thing.' What is that?!"

"Peter we need to move," Remus grabbed Peter and stepped back as the potion exploded. James groaned as Slughorn bustled over.

"Oh dear! Is everyone alright?"

"We're fine Professor," Remus assured.

"Potter, did any of it get in your eyes? It can be very dangerous if…"

"I'm wearing glasses," James snarked, taking the spectacles off to clean them. "Everything hit them. Nothing got past."

"Thank goodness. In that case, there's still time to start from the beginning…"

"You know," Remus piped up, "It wouldn't hurt to see Madame Pomfrey just in case. Something might have gotten past that James didn't noticed."

"What? No, I'm fi...ow!" James gasped as Remus kicked him.

"That is true. Do you need someone to escort you, Mr. Potter?"

"I don't need… OW!" James glared at Remus.

"We can take him," Remus offered, pulling Peter beside him.

"Very well, go on," Slughorn nodded. He turned back to the rest of the class as Remus quickly grabbed his and the other boys' bags. "Alright everyone, back to work! Wonderful work Miss Evans."

"Why are we going to Madam Pomphrey?" James complained. "I don't need to…"

"We're not going to see Madam Pomfrey," Remus said. "We're going to find Sirius and help him. You were the one complaining about not being able to help and we can't if we're stuck in class."

"Remus, you are a genius!" James threw his arms around Remus. "Why are you in Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw?"

"I have no idea," Remus laughed. "Before we look for Sirius though you need to shower."

"That's fair," James agreed. "Race you to the tower." James rushed off, Remus and Peter trailing behind him.

When they got to their dorm, however all their plans went out the window. Sirius was there, curled up on his bed. He was staring at the wall.

"Sirius?" James went over and sat by Sirius. He jumped a little when he heard a bark. "Um, Sirius?"

Frank's head popped up from Sirius' arms. "Hagrid let me borrow him."

Remus came over and sat on the bed. He reached out to Frank. "We're here to help, boy." Frank sniffed Remus' hand and then licked it in aprovel.

"What did Professor McGonagall want?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!" James screamed standing up. "You're hurting! And we want to help and you won't let us! That's what friends are suppose to do!"

"You can't do anything about it!" Sirius sat up. "So what's the point?! I can't… They…" Sirius shook with silent tears, clutching Frank close. "I can't do anything about it. It's not my life. I can't..."

James came over and pulled Sirius into a hug. "Sirius, please. Let us help."

"I can't," Sirius shook his head. "I can't."

"Please."

"I can't."

"But.."

"James," Remus interrupted. "Let it go for now."

"Ok." James sighed as he felt Sirius pull away. "Sirius..."

"No," Sirius shook his head, curling more around Frank.

"Ok," James sighed.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened to you?"

"Oh," James laughed looking down. "Um, I may have over stirred a potion and it blew up."

"What?" Sirius laughed through the tears.

"We tried to stop him," Remus shook his head.

"It was only a small explosion," Peter added. "Could have been much worse."

"Gotta stop missing classes," Sirius laughed.

"We'll blow up another one on Wednesday," James offered.

Sirius deflated. "I won't be there on Wednesday. I.. I have to do something else."

"What else?" James asked. Sirius shook his head and James sighed. "Alright, whatever. I'm gonna go shower."

"Don't let it get in your eyes," Remus called after him.

"I hate you all," James answered, closing the door behind him.

"He doesn't really," Remus assured Sirius who nodded. Frank took that opportunity to give Sirius a kiss which made the dark haired boy laugh.

* * *

Wednesday came far too quickly. Part of Sirius was grateful because that meant it would be over soon. Unfortunately McGonagall pulled him aside after breakfast to explain that the meeting had been postponed until the next week.

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Everythings all right," McGonagall assured him. "They didn't say why, only that they needed to reschedule."

"Oh," Sirius nodded. "I see. I… I need to get to class." He walked away, trying to breath. Why did they have to reschedule? Why was this happening? Couldn't they let this go. Couldn't he just have this? He just wanted to stay. He wanted to stay with his friends.

"Sirius?" Remus asked when Sirius joined them. "Everything alright?"

"Fine," Sirius waved him off. "I'm fine."

"Sirius…"

"I'm fine James," Sirius growled.

* * *

Sirius couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he was back at his Grandfather's home, surrounded by his family. All he could hear was them saying that stupid motto.

Toujours Pur.

Toujours Pur.

He sat up holding his knees to his chest. He didn't want this. He looked at the stupid ring that was a permanent chain to his family. He didn't want this. Why couldn't they understand that? It was too much. He couldn't handle it.

He shot out of bed. Had to move. Had to get away.

"Sirius?" James' head poke out from his curtains.

"I'm fine," Sirius said automatically. "Go back to bed."

He grabbed his robe, going down stairs. The fire was low and he caught sight of an elf out of the corner of his eye scurrying out of sight. He curled up on the couch staring into the low flames.

"Sirius?" Sirius looked up to see James, Remus, and Peter standing there. "You don't have to tell us what's wrong, just let us be here for you. Please?"

"Ok," Sirius agreed. James sat next to Sirius, Remus and Peter sat on the floor. They just needed be there for their friend. In anyway they could.

* * *

Remus watched Sirius the whole week as did James and Peter. Sirius had drawn into himself, barely speaking. He picked at his food, and most nights he ended up downstairs, staring into the fire.

They tried everything they could think of. It was frustrating. Frank had become a near permanent part of their dorm, thanks to Hagrid's generosity. It was the only thing Sirius would actually respond to.

The weekend was completely wasted as Sirius just spent it in the dorm room, refusing to leave. Classes were more difficult as they were trying to hide the fact that Sirius fell asleep in almost every one of them.

Thankfully when Tuesday rolled around Sirius was so exhausted, that he fell asleep long before the other boys. Frank was dutifully curled up next to Sirius, watching his charge.

"This has to stop," James was pacing in front of the other two. "This is killing him."

"We're doing the best we can," Remus sighed. "We can't do much better without knowing what's happening."

"But we're not doing good enough!" James kicked one on the bed posts. "Oh! Merlin's beard!"

"James, we can't force him," Remus leaned back. "It would only make it worse."

"He probably has his reasons," Peter offered.

"Gah," James fell face first between his friends. "I hate this."

"Yeah," Remus agreed, looking over where Sirius was sleeping. "Maybe Proffesor McGonagall knows whats wrong? We could ask her tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess," James agreed.

"Sirius talked to her before," Remus explained. "A few times, she'll know more than we do."

"True," James sighed. He looked toward Sirius. "We have to do something. Whether he wants our help or not."


	15. Chains: Terror

**And part 3!**

* * *

Chains: Terror

It was dark. The walls were close together. Suffocating. The cupboard. He hated this place.

Sirius tried to scream but nothing came out. He'd been silenced somehow. He tried to move but the walls wouldn't let him.

He heard his Grandfather's voice call, " You are the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

No. He didn't want it. Why couldn't they see that? It was all too much.

A chain shot out and wrapped around him.

"One day you will lead this family in triumph and glory."

He couldn't lead his family. His beliefs were different. He didn't believe all that stuff his mother and father preached.

He felt another chain wrap tightly around him, forcing him to stand in place.

"You were named after the brightest star in the night sky. Let your leadership shine like a light in the future you will inherit."

He didn't ask for this. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be the brightest.

More chains shot out, tightening.

"Do you accept the duty as heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?"

No! He tried to scream. No, no, no!

Another chain, and another. Tight. Suffocating.

"Do you accept the responsibility for the well being of all who reside in this family?"

No!

This chain wrapped around his neck. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe!

"Will you do all in your power to keep our blood pure, whatever the cost?"

No! Remus was half-blooded. Remus was good.

Still another chain was added. They were pulling him down. It was too much.

"Orion, the ring."

No, not the ring. That was the worst chain of all. He could always feel the cold metal that bound him to his dark family. He didn't want that.

"Blimey," James sneered,"and I thought you seemed alright."

I am! Please! I got into Gryffindor! I want to be like you, not them!

The chains were tugging at him, trying to pull him away from his friends, towards the dark shadows that were his family.

"This ring seals your promise, and your future as the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black," Arcturus explained. "Do you accept this future?"

NO! He tried to scream. He didn't accept! He didn't want it! The chains continued to wrap around him, tightening.

"Toujours Pur."

"There is no such thing as destiny, Sirius." His uncle had promised. But there was, wasn't there? He couldn't escape Slytherin. He couldn't leave, couldn't run. The chains were too tight. He couldn't breathe.

"Toujours Pur."

No, please no.

"Toujours Pur."

Toujours Pur.

* * *

James jolted awake when the screaming started. Someone was in trouble, but who? He opened his curtain and grabbed his glasses, watching.

Peter was poking his head out between the curtains. Remus was hurrying to Sirius' bedside.

Sirius.

James leaped out of bed and hurried over as well. Forcing the curtains aside he could see Sirius thrashing around, screaming. Frank was whimpering in a corner.

"Sirius? Sirius?!" James tried to shake him but Sirius didn't respond to him. At least James hoped that wasn't his answer.

"No! No! Please! Let go! Let me go!"

"Peter," Remus called. "Go get McGonagall! Hurry!"

Peter rushed out of the room.

"Sirius! Sirius! Wake up!" James begged. Frank joined in, howling.

"Sirius!" Remus joined in. "Sirius please!"

With one final scream, Sirius bolted awake. He was gasping and gulping down air.

"Sirius?" Remus tried to reach out.

But Sirius bolted. The next thing James and Remus heard was sounds of vomiting. They looked at each other before going to check on Sirius, Frank at their heels. Sirius was kneeling in front of the toilet, sobbing.

Both boys sat beside him, unsure of themselves. What were they supposed to do for him? They needed to help, but neither knew how. Remus tried to reach out a comforting hand but Sirius flinched away. Remus looked to James who looked so lost. They just sat there as Frank curled up next to Sirius.

After far too long, McGonagall swept into the room. "Mr. Black?" James moved so McGonagall could sit next to Sirius. "Sirius?" She placed her arms around him.

"I can't do this," Sirius sobbed, allowing her to pull him close. "I just can't."

"It's alright," McGonagall assured him. "You don't have to do anything."

"But I do," he sobbed. "And I can't. I just can't."

"Alright," McGonagall nodded. "Alright. Come with me for now. We'll take care of it." McGonagall began to lead him out of the room. The other Marauders started to follow before she stopped them. "It's best if you stay here."

"But he's our friend," James protested.

"Even so, rules are rules. I have to ask you to stay here. You may see him tomorrow." She turned again and stopped when she spotted Frank. "Is that Hagrid's dog?"

"Hagrid let Sirius borrow him," Peter explained.

"I see. What's his name?"

"Frank," Remus offered.

"Right. Go to sleep boys. You may see Sirius in the morning. Come along Frank." McGonagall lead Sirius away.

The boys were quiet until James turned and stormed to his trunk. He began ruffling through it, searching.

"James?" Remus asked. "What are you doing?"

"We're not staying behind," James growled. "We are his friends. We have the right… No, the responsibility to help him."

"But how?" Peter asked. "McGonagall told us not to go with them."

"She can't stop us if we're invisible," James smirked, pulling out a shimmery silver cloth.

"What is that?" Remus asked.

James' smirk grew as he threw the cloak around him and disappeared. Remus and Peter gaped, jaws hanging down.

"An invisibility cloak!" Peter gasped.

"Brilliant," Remus agreed.

James took the hood off, grinning. "So you guys wanna come with me to cheek on Sirius?" Remus and Peter grinned, scurrying under the cloak.

"So where did she take him?" Peter asked.

"My bet is the Hospital Wing," Remus said. "There's beds there. And he was inconsolable. Pomphrey will have calming doughts. It'll help him sleep."

"Works for me," James said. "Onward gentlemen!"

The boys snuck through the halls. Despite the seriousness of the situation, they each had to stifle their giggles as they snuck past Flitch and his ratty old cat. There were also Prefects still patrolling. One set was arguing in low voices. They hurried along to the hospital where they could hear hushed whispers.

"But what's causing this? The nightmares, the undereating…?"

"Basic stress, Minerva. It doesn't usually happen during the first year but it can."

"But what could have caused this? He's been fine so far."

Professor McGonagall was standing at Sirius' beside, Madam Pomfrey was bustling about. Sirius was curled around Frank, sleeping soundly for the first time in a week.

"Is there something that's happened recently?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "A change in his home life? Something with his friends?"

"Perhaps something with the meeting tomorrow?" Dumbledore strode in. "I heard there was trouble."

"Yes," McGonagall agreed. "Mr. Black did seem distraught over the meeting when I mentioned it to him."

James, Peter, and Remus exchanged a look.

"Meeting? What meeting?" Pomfrey voiced their silent question.

"His Grandfather has requested a meeting to discuss changing his sorting," Dumbledore explained.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Pomfrey cried out, covering the three boys' gasps. "What's wrong with it?"

"The Blacks are a very proud family," Dumbledore explained, "made up of mostly Slytherins. There hasn't been a Black sorted into another house since this school opened. And to be sorted into Gryffindor, well," Dumbledore shook his head sadly, "I'm surprised they took so long to fight against it."

"The poor dear," Pomfrey brushed some of Sirius' hair back. "Has he said anything against his sorting?"

"On the contrary, he's seemed rather pleased with it," McGonagall said. "He's always running around with Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew."

"Mr. Lupin's made friends?" Dumbledore chuckled. "How marvelous."

Remus tried to hide his blush as James scrutinized him.

Sirius let out a small moan, curling in a little more. Frank lifted his head and gave Sirius a few kisses.

"And who is this?" Dumbledore chuckled, letting the puppy sniff his hand.

"Hagrid new dog," McGonagall explained. "Apparently he's been on loan to the boys."

"I see. Splendid idea. Animals have such wonderful effects on people."

"Yes," Madam Pomfrey agreed, doing a few more checks before she straightened. "Really though, do you think the meeting will be awful tomorrow?"

"I remember Arcturus when he was a student here," Dumbledore crossed the room, reminiscing. "Definitely a Slytherin. Very cunning, very married to his family's ideology. I have no doubt that he will try to get his way tomorrow, but the hat has spoken. Sirius is a Gryffindor and nothing will change that."

"Then what is the point? Why does it matter if Black is a Slytherin or not?" Pomfrey asked.

"Because he is the heir," Dumbledore explained. "Someday he will assume charge of his family and they want him to be prepared, to excel in their way of thinking. It may perhaps be the only thing keeping him from being outright disowned."

"But they wouldn't!" Pomfrey gasped. "Not over his house assignment!"

"They have done so for less," Dumbledore said somberly. "Well, let's let him sleep for now. He has a difficult day ahead of him. Minerva, please inform Mr. Black's Professors that I have excused him from classes tomorrow."

"Of course," McGonagall nodded, before leaving.

"Poppy, I trust him to your care." Madam Pomfrey nodded. "And as for you," Dumbledore turned his twinkling eyes to Frank, "Guard him well."

Dumbledore left as silently as he came. Pomfrey did a few more checks before seeming satisfied and bustling away.

James lead his friends to Sirius then took off the cloak.

"Can they really do that?" Peter asked. "Can they change his sorting?"

"No," James protested. "Of course not. Sirius is a Gryffindor. Brave and true! They can't change that."

"But they'll try," Remus whispered, sitting down beside Sirius.

"Why didn't he tell us?" James asked. "We could have done something."

"Like what?" Remus asked. "We're just kids James. We can't fight his family."

"Will I want to," James sat down, grumbling. "I want to punch all of them in the face and steal Sirius away."

"All of them?" Remus raised an eyebrow. "Even Regulus?"

"Nah. I'll steal him away too. I always wanted a little brother," James proclaimed.

"Really?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, my parents were just too old," James shrugged, yawning. "How mad do you think they'll be if we just stay here?"

"Can't be too bad," Remus moved to another hospital bed. "Maybe they'll understand."

"I hope so," Peter chose his own bed to rest on.

James didn't bother. He laid down next to Sirius, throwing his arms around the boy. Sirius stiffened. Then he turned and nuzzled against James. James smiled, placing a kiss on Sirius' forehead.

"Everything will be alright," James promised.

* * *

Sirius sighed contentedly, nuzzling close to the warm body. He was hearing snippets of conversation around him.

"How'd they even get here?"

"I don't know, but I didn't have the heart to wake them."

He didn't want to wake up. He was too comfortable. To safe.

"They have classes. Mr. Lupin especially can only afford to miss so much."

Was that even a thing? Too safe? He didn't think it was possible before but now. If he never had to move from this spot he could be happy.

"When is their first class?"

"An hour after breakfast."

"Very well. They can eat in here then. It might do him some good. I'll wake them soon." He heard two steps of footsteps walk away

He felt the form next to him shift and let out a moan in protest.

"Sirius?"

Sirius forced his eyes open. "James?"

"Hey," James greeted. "You ok?"

"Mmm-hmm. Tired." Sirius closed his eyes and snuggled closer to James. "You're warm."

James chuckled, tightening his arm around Sirius. "You're still being affected by the potion."

Sirius grimaced. "It was gross." He looked back up at James. "Where are we?"

"We're in the hospital wing," James explained. "You had a really bad nightmare."

"Oh," Sirius nodded.

"Ah, you're awake," Pomfrey came over. "How are you, Mr. Black?"

"Tired," Sirius yawned.

"Understandable," Pomfrey nodded, checking him over. "You've been excused from classes today so you can rest up."

"What's today?" Sirius asked before realizing, "Oh! It's Wednesday, isn't it?"

"Yes," Pomfrey nodded.

Sirius went silent. He curled closer to James.

"As for the rest of you still have classes. You may have breakfast here if you wish, but then you need to go to classes," Pomfrey explained.

"What do you think gents?" James asked his friends. Remus and Peter looked at each other than at Sirius.

"Maybe we'll just go to the Great Hall for breakfast, let Sirius rest," Remus mused.

"Probably the best plan," James agreed starting to move away. Suddenly Sirius grabbed James' shirt, forcing him to stop. "Sirius?"

"Stay. Please," Sirius begged.

"All of us?" James asked. Sirius shook his head. James looked to his other friends ready to explain it away.

Remus raised his hand, stopping James. "It's ok. Take care of him?"

"Ok," James promised, laying back down next to Sirius. He threw an arm around Sirius, pulling him close. Remus and Peter left followed by Madam Pomfrey.

"Sirius?"

"Please don't. I just…" Sirius hid his face. "You feel safe. I just… I need safe right now."

"Ok," James agreed. "I can be safe."

* * *

The minute they sent James away he snuck right back in under his invisibility cloak. Sirius needed him so he was going to stay. He didn't care that Sirius had fallen back asleep and probably wouldn't have noticed his absence. He was going to be there.

And good thing he was there. When Sirius woke up he looked rather dejected.

"Madam Pomfrey? Where's James?"

"He had classes dear."

"Oh. Right." Sirius looked towards the door. "How long until…?"

"You have an hour until lunch," Pomfrey informed him as McGonagall walked in.

"Is Mr. Potter here?"

"No," Pomfrey shook her head. "I sent him off to class."

"Well he never arrived," McGonagall sighed. "How are you feeling Mr. Black?"

"Fine," Sirius shrugged. "Hagrid took Frank for a walk. Probably good for him."

"Yes, probably for the best," McGonagall agreed. "Would you like me to collect you for the meeting?"

"No," Sirius refused. "I'll be fine."

"Very well," McGonagall sighed. "I'll leave you be then." She and Madam Pomfrey walked away.

Sirius sighed, laying back down, facing away from James. That wouldn't do. James snuck quietly around the bed and crouched down in front of Sirius. "Sirius?"

"James?" Sirius sat up. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here. Are you blind?"

"Apparently," Sirius answered. "Either that or you're invisible."

"Oh, wait!" James threw off the cloak. "Tada!"

"You have an invisibility cloak?!" Sirius gasped. "Let me see it." James jumped onto the bed, handing Sirius the cloak. "Where did you get this?"

"Family heirloom," James smirked.

"No way! Why is this the first I'm hearing about this? Do you know how much we can do with it?"

"You are speaking my language," James laughed. "It's how we snuck in last night. McGonagall wanted us to stay in the dorm."

"I'm glad you came," Sirius admitted.

"Sirius? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Last night they were talking about a meeting," James explained. Sirius stiffened. "To change your sorting."

"Yeah," Sirius slumped.

"Why didn't you tell us?"James asked.

"You can't do anything about it," Sirius shrugged.

"So what? At least then we would have known what you were up against."

"It wouldn't have made a difference," Sirius laid down. "He's coming."

"He?"

"My Grandfather," Sirius shivered. "He's the head of our house. What he says goes. There's no point in arguing."

"So you think he'll actually be able to change your house assignment?"

"Of course he will. And I'll have to be a Slytherin."

James thought for a moment. "Do you want to be a Slytherin?"

"No!" Sirius turned over to look at James. "Of course not! That's where my family is. They have too much influence there. If I go there I won't be free. I'll be trapped forever."

James laid next to him. "If you don't want to be a Slytherin then Dumbledore won't let them change your sorting. Besides the hat put you in Gryffindor. So you belong in Gryffindor."

"What if I don't?" Sirius asked.

"The hat wouldn't do that," James protested. "Besides I know you belong in Gryffindor."

"How?"

"Cause you're my best friend," James explained. "And as my best friend, I have to know you well enough to know what house you belong to."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Thank you." Sirius closed his eyes. "You staying?"

"Yeah." James pulled him close. "I'll be here."


	16. Chains: The Meeting

The final part of Chains. Enjoy!

* * *

Chains: The Meeting

Sirius readjusted his tie for the fifth time in as many minutes. Something still seemed off. What was the point of wearing a tie anyways? It was suffocating. He undid the tie and started over.

James opened his mouth, then shut it again. This was not the time for those kind of comments. Sirius didn't need it. Remus and Peter hurried in through the door.

"Good, you haven't left yet!" Remus exclaimed, rushing to his trunk.

Peter sat on his own bed. "There's still food downstairs."

Sirius grimaced. "I'm good."

"We ate at the hospital wing," James explained.

"Here it is," Remus produced a strange furry oval.

"What is that?" Sirius asked.

"It's a rabbit's foot." The two purebloods gave him a blank stare. "It's a muggle thing. They're supposed to be lucky. My mum gave it to me before I left for Hogwarts. I know it's silly but maybe it will help?" Remus held out the foot, blushing.

Sirius took it with a small smile looking it over. "Thank you." He carefully hid it under his robes. "There."

"Do you want us to walk you there?" Remus asked.

"I… that's probably not the best idea," Sirius admitted. "It's not that I don't want you to, it's just… My family's very… harsh?"

"It's ok," James assured him. "We get it. We're all either not pure-blooded or blood traitors. Bad influences for a pure-blooded Black."

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered.

"Don't be," Remus shook his head. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah." Sirius took in his appearance one last time. It would have to do. "Ok." Sirius turned and walked to the door before stopping. "You know, Potions is in the same direction as Dumbledore's office."

"That's true," James agreed, grabbing his bag. They were quickly joined by Remus and Peter.

Sirius lead the procession out. It was easier to ignore where they were going this way. Sirius could just pretend they were going to Potions together.

They made their way through the common room and down the hall. Sirius was getting into the rhythm of it until they reached the top of the Grand Staircase.

There, conversing with Dumbledore outside of the Great Hall was Arcturus Black, Orion, and Walburga standing behind him as was proper. Arcturus caught sight of him in an instant.

"Sirius. Come."

Sirius decided that this must have been what Frank felt like when he did something wrong. Only this was much worse. He didn't hesitate, just obeyed his Grandfather. He bowed deeply, aware of his friends' eyes on him all the while.

Arcturus looked at him as if he was just a piece of dirt. Distasteful, but unavoidable. "You must admire the Gryffindor bravery," Arcturus sneered. "To be willing to be seen around half-breeds and blood traitors."

Remus paled, as James growled at the Blacks' head. "You got something to say, old man?!"

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore interrupted. "I believe you have class right now." James glared, but started to lead his friends away. "For the record Arcturus, muggles are not a different species."

"Might as well be," Arcturus turned to Sirius. "Those are who you keep company with?"

"I… they're my friends," Sirius whimpered not able to meet anyone's eye.

Arcturus scoffed.

"Shall we move this meeting to my office," Dumbledore offered.

Arcturus merely nodded and followed behind Dumbledore. Orion and Walburga followed him, Sirius bringing up the rear. He shouldn't have walked with his friends. But they made him feel brave. Like a true Gryffindor.

But he wasn't, was he? He was a snake, born and bred. Worst, he was the heir. Someday he was to take his place as the head. But how could he? He wasn't like his family. He had no desire to be like them, to carry on their legacy.

"Hershey's kisses," Dumbledore said as they reached a Gargoyle. The Gargoyle leapt aside revealing a spiral staircase. Sirius followed the adults up.

Dumbledore's office was magnificent. It was full of all kinds of strange objects that were whizzing and whirling. There were portraits of past headmasters and headmistress covering the walls. He grimaced a little at his great-great-grandfather Phineas Nigellus Black's portrait. There was a copy of it in his own home and he always hated when Phineas was there.

Then the most magnificent thing caught his eye. It was a Phoenix. Red, bright, and beautiful. He couldn't help but reach out to the bird.

"Sirius!" Walburga hissed, stopping him. Sirius glanced at his Grandfather who barely looked at him.

"It's quite alright," Dumbledore chuckled. "Fawkes enjoys the company. It's so rare he has any other than me." Fawkes nipped softly at Sirius, who smiled.

Arcturus cleared his throat. "We have a matter to discuss."

"Of course," Dumbledore agreed. "Take a seat."

Arcturus sat down, Orion immediately sat to his right. Sirius hesitated. Orion glared at him, indicating the seat to Arcturus' left. Walburga used her wand to move a chair to the right and slightly behind her husband.

"The hat has made a mistake," Arcturus informed the headmaster. "It must be corrected."

"And what mistake is that?" Dumbledore asked, stroking his beard.

"He is not a Gryffindor, he is a Slytherin. That is where Blacks belong." Sirius winced at his Grandfather's words.

"I see your point, but allow me to disagree," Dumbledore paused as the door opened. "Ah, Minerva! Here at last."

"My apologies, Professor. The Prewett twins thought it would be amusing to flood the Prefects' bathroom with bubbles," McGonagall explained. Sirius stifled a laugh.

"Why is _she_ here?" Walburga hissed.

"As Sirius' head of house, this concerns her," Dumbledore explained. McGonagall walked in and placed a comforting hand on Sirius' shoulder before joining Dumbledore. "Now as I was saying I believe Sirius makes an excellent Gryffindor. He is courageous and courteous, and adds much to his house."

"Sirius is a Black," Arcturus reiterated, "and as one of my heirs he must be a Slytherin."

"He was named a Gryffindor," McGonagall stated. "Nothing can change that."

"And the Gryffindor's accept my grandson?"

"Naturally," McGonagall nodded.

"And how long did that take?" McGonagall was silent. Sirius clenched his fists until they turn white. Arcturus sneered triumphantly before continuing, "He belongs with his family in Slytherin."

"There is no need to change his sorting," Dumbledore finally said. "As far as I can tell there has been no actual abuse from the other children. And he does seem happy there."

Sirius inwardly cursed his Headmaster. Sentimental old fool. It didn't matter if he was happy, as long as he performed his duty. The needs of his family and their legacy far outweighed his trivial wants and needs.

"Sirius is a child," Orion cut in. "He has no idea what he wants."

But he did. He wanted to be able to write Regulus without having to go through his uncle. He wanted to be allowed to be friends with James, and Remus, and Peter. He wanted to not be the heir, or at least to be able to be himself. He wanted to be allowed to stay in Gryffindor.

"Sirius," Dumbledore addressed him calmly. "Do you want to be resorted?"

Sirius didn't want that question. He couldn't be honest. Not with his family here.

"I… I want was is best for the family," Sirius finally answered. McGonagall frowned as Walburga smiled smugly. Dumbledore sat back, watching as Sirius tried not to fidget.

"Very well," Dumbledore stood. "Let's ask the hat. It will have the final say." He took the hat from the self and placed it on Sirius' head once more.

The hat was silent for a moment before muttering, "I see. Unsatisfied with my decision are you?"

'I'm not,' Sirius thought to the hat. 'I want to stay in Gryffindor but…'

'I know,' the hat interrupted him. 'Let me handle this.'

"They seem to believe that Sirius should be resorted into Slytherin," Dumbledore explained.

"He would have done well there," the hat agreed. "But he will do better in Gryffindor. I stand by my decision."

"He is a Black," Arcturus declared.

"That means nothing to me," the hat interrupted. "He is a Gryffindor. That is my final word. Disagree with me again and I will sort all of your descends into the wrong house."

Dumbledore smiled, taking the hat. "Well, that's that."

"I see," Arcturus stood. "Sirius. You are to stay at Hogwarts this Christmas." With that he left, Walburga and Orion in toe.

Sirius remained seated, shaking. It was over. He was staying in Gryffindor. He was staying with his friends.

McGonagall knelt in front of him. "Sirius?" She reached out, flinching away as he did.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Minerva," Dumbledore gave her a meaningful look.

"Right," she nodded, leaving the office.

Dumbledore waited a moment, as Sirius' shaking calmed. "Would you like to join me for a walk, Sirius?"

"Umm… Right. Sure." Sirius stood, feeling something small and soft bump against him. He looked to find the rabbit's foot.

"What is that?" Dumbledore asked.

"It's…" Sirius glanced at his great-great grandfather's portrait.

"Ah!" Dumbledore nodded. "Come with me." They walked through the halls in silence. Sirius watched the ground, clutching the foot. It was very soft.

They walked out onto the grounds, empty due to the cold weather and the fact that people were in class.

"I've always liked the grounds right before it snows," Dumbledore offered. "There's always this feeling of adventure and the unexpected."

"Sir?" Sirius looked up.

"You never really know when the snow is going to come," Dumbledore smiled.

"I guess," Sirius shrugged.

"Snow can be very difficult to deal with," Dumbledore continued. "But it is also very beautiful."

"You're a little strange," Sirius blurted before blushing.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes. I suppose I am."

Sirius ran a thumb over Remus' gift. Looking down at it he finally answered, "It's a rabbit's foot."

"I beg your pardon?" Dumbledore stopped.

Sirius held out the object. "It's a rabbit's foot. Ramus lent it to me. Muggles think they're lucky."

"I see," Dumbledore took the foot and observed it, eyes twinkling. "How delightful."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed.

"Are you good friends with Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore asked returning the foot.

"I think so," Sirius looked off into the forest. "He gets sick a lot."

"Yes. Rather unfortunate," Dumbledore agreed.

"Can I tell you something awful?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore turned to look at the boy.

"At first I thought he got sick all the time because his mother is a muggle," Sirius admitted, "but there are a lot of other half bloods and they don't... James worries about him. I do too. It's not normal."

"Hmm," Dumbledore nodded. "But it's not his fault."

"No. I suppose not," Sirius looked back to Dumbledore. "I don't want to be a Slytherin."

"Oh?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

"No. When I was being sorted I wanted it to just get it over with. Put me in Slytherin like my family. He asked if I wanted to be like my family. I don't," Sirius concluded.

"Who would you like to be like?" Dumbledore asked.

"James," Sirius answered.

"Mr. Potter?"

"I like James. He's cool," Sirius shrugged. "And he doesn't see the Black.

"What does he see?"

"I don't know," Sirius admitted, "but I want to see what he sees. I want to be what he sees."

"A fine goal," Dumbledore approved. "Very fine goal indeed."

The first snowflake touched the ground.

* * *

James raced ahead of his friends, mentality begging Sirius to be there. He couldn't be wrong. Sirius had to be a Gryffindor. Because if Sirius was a Slytherin James wasn't sure they would be able to stay friends.

"Fairy lights," he called to the fat lady who took too long too open. He flew up the steps and slammed the door open.

Sirius was sitting on his bed, munching on some fruit. Nothing had moved.

"You're staying!" James cried.

"Did you think you get rid of me that easily?" Sirius smirked.

"Yes!" James jumped on the bed and hugged Sirius, ignoring the way he tensed.

Remus chuckled, pulling James off. "Let him breathe."

"He staying!" James cheered.

"We heard," Remus laughed.

"Ahh man," Sirius looked at the fallen bowl. "That was good food too."

"Sorry mate," James rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's fine," Sirius waved him off. "Dinner's soon anyways."

"But you're staying!" James cheered. "This calls for a celebration!"

"What are we gonna do?" Peter asked.

"No idea!" James admitted. "But it will be awesome! Come on mates!"

James threw his bag onto his bed and pulled his perpetually loose tie over his head. Peter and Remus were kinder to their things. Sirius joined his friends in shedding their outer robes. His hand brushed the rabbit's foot once more.

"Oh! Remus here," he held out the foot.

Remus shook his head, "You keep it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It'll bring you luck," Remus smiled.

"Ok," Sirius nodded. He loosened the restrictive tie as he followed his friends out.

He could finally breathe.


	17. Christmas Headcanons

Merry Christmas everybody! I had some other stories that I was working on but I didn't get any of them done due to work and the business of the season. Alwell, maybe next year. Hope everyone has a great Christmas!

* * *

 **Christmas Lists**

James was constantly updating a Christmas list until right before Christmas. It drove Mrs. Potter slightly crazy because it made it harder to be fully done with Christmas shopping. After his first Christmas at Hogwarts, he realized none of his friends got as many presents as he did so he started to add stuff for his friends to his list. "Remus needs a new scarf." "Sirius really likes Muggle vehicles. Maybe Muggle London has some books on it." "Peter keeps breaking his bloody quills! He either needs an everlasting supply or indestructible ones!"

Sirius didn't write Christmas lists. He claimed it's because he didn't want anything. In reality, it's because his family never exchanged gifts so he never got in the habit of writing a list. He honestly forgets that he supposed to write one. This upsets Mrs. Potter more than James' never-ending updated lists ever is extremely grateful that James just writes one for Sirius.

Remus is very particular about his lists. He carefully selects every item and orders it based on "importance." His list are always short and they are usually a second draft. He writes one list that has everything and from that selects the 10 most important/least expensive things. When James and Sirius discovered this they began sneaking the first list out of the trash. Remus deserved to have everything on his list. Even if they just randomly showed up during the year.

Peter wrote messy Christmas list 2 months in advance, that he would forget to send to his mother until a week before Christmas. Yet, she somehow always managed to get everything on his list. Really it was because James and Sirius would copy it and send it to Peter's mum so she would have time to shop.

 **Christmas Songs**

James would tell people that his favorite Christmas song was _Jingle Bell Rock_ because that's cool. In reality, he loved _Silent Night._ It was just calm and pretty.

Sirius like _Silver Bells_. No real reason. He just liked it.

Remus like _You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch._ He'd watched the cartoon million and one times growing up and adored it. He also liked every wizard Christmas song because his dad had a habit of singing them very loud and very very off key.

Peter like _Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer_. He liked underdog stories.

 **Wrapping Skills**

James was purposely bad at wrapping presents. His mother had taught him of course and it drove Lily crazy. Especially when she found out how well he could actually wrap things. But James knew it was important that he was bad at wrapping things so he was.

Sirius was the worst at wrapping presents. Again that was partly his parent's fault, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't do it right. If it was a super important present, like for the Potters, he'd just have Remus wrap it. It gave him great comfort that James was just as bad at wrapping presents as he was.

Remus was a god at wrapping presents. They were always perfect and he knew how to do fancy bows and how to curl ribbon. He really enjoyed wrapping presents. It is very calming.

Peter was diabolical. He would wrap them multiple times, put it in different boxes, and use duct tape. Half of the fun of giving gifts for Peter was watching everyone's frustration as they tried to open it. Honestly, his mum was worse.

 **Favorite Tradition**

James had loved getting presents as a kid. When he got older he learned to love giving gifts. He especially loved picking them out. He would spend days looking for the right gift. After that, it was hard not to force the receiver to open it look on their faces were always worth it.

Sirius loved baking Christmas cookies with Mrs. Potter. He was sure they made a 100 different kinds but they spent the whole day talking and laughing and singing carols. Then he and James would dingdong ditch a bunch of neighbors. And Remus. And Peter. And Lily (after much begging on James's part.) One year they found the addresses for all of the teachers. He beamed when he overheard McGonagall talking about the peanut butter pecan cookies being the best things she'd ever tasted.

Remus loved one particular present. Each year his Mum would make him a Christmas ornament. Each was beautiful and unique. She made some for the other Marauders as well. Remus was always overly curious what would be and he even tried to sneak a peek. Though he was never successful.

Peter loved going Christmas caroling with his mum. There is always a small group that went with them of friends and family. He didn't invite his friends that first Christmas, worried they would laugh at him. But his mother did, so the Marauders joined in, James and Remus in person, Sirius through the new mirror. After that they joined the Pettigrews every year and it was just perfect.

 **Most Hated Tradition**

James loathed White Elephant Gifts. Since finding the perfect gift had become a weirdly sacred thing to him, James was horrified at the idea of doing _gag_ gifs. Emphasis on the gag. The worst part was that Lily loved the tradition, and thought it was hilarious. So he consigned himself to grin through it every year.

Sirius hated mistletoe. So many people would try to use it as an excuse to kiss him and it was just frustrating. He needed kissing to be on his terms thus spent a lot of Christmas just trying to avoid mistletoe and people. Course he never let his distaste show. When he got caught under the mistletoe he kissed the person's hand or cheek or forehead with a sly grin. Unless it was James. If he ever got caught under the mistletoe with James he would kiss James full on the lips then run, laughing the whole way. That was the only time mistletoes were ok.

Remus just hated the whole commercialization of Christmas. It had always been such a pure time for him. One of relief and distraction from the full moons when possible. He hated the way shoppers would act and how greedy some people would get. That was why he liked to get his shopping done as soon as possible so he could avoid as much of it as possible.

Peter hated fruitcake and eggnog. Every year his mum would buy it and every year he'd force it down. Then he would eat about 20 candy canes to try and get rid of the disgusting taste. It never worked.

 **Least Favorite Christmas**

They all hated 4th year. It was right after the prank that shall not be spoken of. Sirius had been ostracized from the group. That Christmas had been awful for all of them.

 **Favorite Christmas**

James loves every Christmas. He feels like every year just gets better and better. (Except for 4th year that was just awful.) But if he really had to pick a favorite it would be 6th year when Sirius was finally home. Eventually, though it would be Harry's 1st Christmas.

Sirius loved the Christmas in 5th year the best. After the disaster that was 4th year he was back with his friends and accepted. And seeing Snape and Avery in dresses was a definite bonus.

Remus surprisingly likes 7th year best. He thought he would be miserable as that was the full moon. He elected to stay at schools so his parents wouldn't be bothered but then the Marauders stayed and spent the whole day with him. They moved opening presents and everything to the next day and were even able to convince the elves to make them a small Christmas feast.

Peter liked the Christmas in his 1st year best. He had been horrified when he found out that his friends had been invited to go caroling. They would laugh at him and he would lose them and then he'd be alone. But then Remus and James came, And Sirius was there via the mirror And nobody laughed. And Remus knew every song, wizard, and muggle, but James only knew the wizard ones. Sirius knew none of them so sang all of them wrong (but he was so excited when he got one right.) And then that night over cocoa they talked about doing it again next year that was when it sunk in that Peter had actual friends and that they were staying.

 **Most Frustrating Part Of Christmas**

James was frustrated by the decorating. It was mostly fine and he liked the way it looked when it is done but decorating itself took forever. He had better things to do.

Sirius, unlike James, hated Christmas shopping. Nothing ever seemed right and he had a lot of indecision. He just spent most of the time feeling frustrated. He'd always eventually settled on something but was never satisfied. Sixth year had been the most frustrating because he had no money and no way to show the Potters how much it meant to him that they took him in. When Remus finally got Sirius to admit this he introduced Sirius to the idea of making presents. It helped.

Remus hated having to deal with his furry little problem around Christmas time. He hated it normally but at Christmas it just seemed worse. His parents had always strived to make Christmas special, a day set apart from his normal life and normal fears. So when the full moon interrupted that peace he was not a happy pup.

Peter doesn't like the suspense. He hates having to wait for one of his favorite days of the year, especially when you had to deal with school.


	18. Not That Girl

Soooo... It's been a while. New chapter this one is a James and Lily one, with a little Sirius thrown in cause he snuck in the back door. What am I gonna do with that boy?

Anyways, on with the story.

* * *

Her name was Elizabeth Maria Fawley.

She was a year older. Pureblood. Rich. Popular. Gryffindor. Just like him.

She was beautiful and she knew it. Blond curly hair, deep chocolate eyes that had gold when the light hit them just right. Clear skin, perfect curves, perfect girl.

Lily had never bothered to take special note of her. She only rolled her eyes as Fawley would go off about how much nicer it was at home and how many house elves they had and this and that.

Lily just didn't care.

She barely cared enough to roll her eyes as Elizabeth would flirt with all the boys at prefects meetings. (" _Oh, Bernt, your hair is just fantastic tonight." "Remus! We missed you last week, darling. What happened?" "Aren't these new prefects just adorable?!")_

She didn't care that Fawley's father only had a job because he would be so bored if he didn't. She didn't care that Fawley had three house elves assigned to her and her comfort at home. And that the pearls she wore were real, a family heirloom given to her on her eleventh birthday. Also, not that it matters, but her family was one of the Sacred 28. (Whatever that was.)

Lily wasn't even sure how she knew all that. But she did, and she didn't care. Fawley was just an annoyance. Nothing more, nothing less.

Then after winter break in sixth year, Fawley was suddenly sitting by Potter.

Lily wouldn't have noticed except that Potter hadn't bothered to ask her out this year. Not that she cared, but it was weird and concerning. The last time Potter had taken a break from pursuing her the next time was large and ridiculous and she was still cringing at the mere thought of it. But the break was nice.

It was good.

But she was still on guard. Watching. Waiting.

So when Fawley sat down beside Potter, Lily noticed. She couldn't hear what they were talking about but Fawley laughed and ran her hand through James' hair.

What? Why?

Had something happened over break?

Not that Lily cared at all. It was just weird.

Of course, Potter had gone on dates with other girls before. He'd even had girlfriends. Short-lived ones sure, but they counted. So that's all this was. A short relationship.

Good.

It would keep Potter out of her hair at least.

Except that a week passed. Then a month. Valentine's Day came and went and they were still together.

What was this?

Potter's relationships never lasted more than a month. So this was real?

Well, good for him. That meant his obsession with her was over. Good. She welcomed it. She'd been begging for it. Good riddance. She didn't have to concern herself with Potter ever again. Good. Fantastic.

So then why did she always watch them?

Why did she find herself suddenly loath Fawley who'd only been a nuisance before?

Why did she find herself wanting to interrogate Remus about the relationship?

Why did she suddenly notice how soft Potter's hair looked?

And he didn't bully anyone anymore so that was good.

And he was actually really good at Transfiguration. Like amazing at it. Why hadn't she noticed that before?

Also, the way he would carefully wake up Black (who'd developed a bad habit of falling asleep in class) was sweet.

And near the full moon, he would subtly support Remus' weight as they walked down the hall.

And he would tell Pettigrew jokes until the poor kid couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard.

And once Pettigrew accidentally laughed pumpkin juice out of his nose which hit Fawley's expensive robes. She'd shrieked so loud everyone's ears must have been ringing for days. It was oddly satisfying.

Lily could not understand what was going on with her. She found herself wanting to pull out all of Fawley's perfectly curled hair lock by lock and magically turn her eyes puke color. She found herself glaring (and even once growling) at the mere mention of Fawley's name. She wanted to burn all of Fawley's ridiculous fashionable clothes. Fawley and her friends' laughs were grating.

"Why hello Miss Green Heart," Dorcas said sitting down. "What is the happy couple up to today?"

"She's running her hand through his hair again," Lily grumbled, stabbing her eggs. "Why does he let her do that?" She paused. "Wait. Green Heart?"

"Yep, Green Heart," Dorcas nodded. "Would have done green eyes but that's already your natural color."

"Why is this a thing?" Lily asked. Dorcas only smiled.

"Why is Dorcas calling me Green Heart?" Lily asked Alice and Marlene during their downtime later.

"Is that what she finally went with?" Alice paused in her letter writing.

"Apparently," Marlene shrugged, adding another brush of color to her pinky nail. "She thought it would describe you."

"Describe me?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Marlene stopped and looked up. "You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?" Lily pouted.

"That you're super jealous of Fawley," Alice answered.

"What?! Pft! No! Why would I be jealous of Fawley? She's just some vapid blonde bimbo."

"Uh huh," Alice smirked scribbling more to Frank.

"I have nothing to be jealous of," Lily insisted.

"Except that she's with Potter," Mary sang from her reading corner.

"Why would I be jealous of that?" Lily scoffed. "If anything I'm grateful. I don't have to deal with his constant pursuits and bribes."

The other three girls exchanged a look and smiled.

"I'm not jealous!" Lily insisted going back to her homework.

Lily was not jealous. She most definitely was not.

She just thought Potter deserved better.

He really wasn't that bad now that his stupid head had deflated.

March passed.

Remus must have had a particularly brutal moon. He missed a whole week of classes, poor thing. So she grabbed his Arithmancy homework and some chocolate and headed to the hospital wing.

Remus was sleeping when she came by. As was Black who must have been keeping watch.

Lily tried to quietly place the items on the bedside table. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite enough because Black snapped to attention, stormy eyes trained on her. She'd never noticed how intense those things could be.

"Oh, Evans," Black relaxed slightly. "It's just you."

"Sorry," Lilly apologized. "I heard Remus was sick again. Just thought he'd want his assignments."

"And chocolate?" Black smirked. But it seemed fake. Interesting.

"Yeah. He mentioned liking chocolate frogs once," Lily shrugged.

"He likes the cards," Black rolled his eyes. "Speaks to his nerdy side."

"That makes sense," Lily nodded, shifting her feet.

"Skittles are actually his favorite candy," Black noted quietly.

"Oh, I'll remember that," Lily promised.

"Can't get them in Honeydukes," Black murmured seeming to mentally leave.

"Yeah, I guess not," Lily agreed. "I mean, Skittles is a muggle candy…" she trailed off. There were dark shadows under Black's eyes. Had they always been there?

"So… Where's Potter at?" Lily asked. Not that she cared. Just making conversation. With Black. Who was as bad as Potter.

Black scoffed. "With _Fawley."_

Lily blinked, eyes widening. "I take it you don't approve?"

"She's a nosey shrew," Black glared at the floor.

"I see," Lily nodded. "Do you need to complain?"

"Do you honestly want to listen?" Black asked, skeptical.

Lily shrugged. "I just know that sometimes I need to complain to someone. Even if nothing changes, it's just nice to be heard."

Black watched her first a good five minutes. Analyzing, searching. Though she wanted to, Lily refused to look away. She hardly dared to blink but met his stormy gaze head-on. Finally Black stood, offering Lily his chair, and settling down carefully on the edge of Remus' bed. She accepted his offer and waited a moment more as Black stared out the window.

"I've never liked Fawley," Black finally admitted. "Her family is one of the Sacred 28, so I hated her on principle. A lot of those families are garbage."

"I'm sorry," Lily interrupted, "what are the Sacred 28?"

"Oh, right. You're muggle born," Black reminded himself. "Don't know about that stuff. Its It's this list of Pureblood families that someone wrote in the 30s or 40s. Suppose to be the purest of the pureblooded families. Complete garbage. But some families see it as a bragging right." Black rolled his eyes causing Lily to note the shadows once more.

How long had they been there? Had Black been getting any sleep beside the naps he snuck in class? Did the teachers know? Was that why he got away with it?

No wonder Potter was so gentle when he woke Black up. He was probably so worried about his friend.

"Well, actually," Black continued bringing Lily out of her thoughts, "Some people from those families aren't that bad. Prewetts for example. The twins were always nice. And Frank Longbottom was pretty great too. But Fawley, she just always seemed so shallow.

"So Monty and Mia, Prongs' parents," Black explained, seeing Lilly's confusion, "bless them, invited some families over for Christmas dinner."

"Including the Fawleys?" Lily guessed.

"Yep," Black nodded. "She and Prongs… they just kept talking through dinner. And then the next day he told me that he'd asked her out on a date."

"You weren't there for that?" Lily leaned forward. "I thought you two were joined at the hip."

"I went to bed early. Dinner was…" he grimaced.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's the last name," Black shrugged. "It either commands fear and respect or disgust and mistrust. I'm used to it."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't suck," Lily sympathized. "People can be awful."

"The worst," Black agreed. "Anyway, one date lead to two, lead to three, and now she's his girlfriend. Longterm. And she suucckkss," he ended with a groan. Remus shifted commanding Black's attention but then settled eye remaining closed. Black placed his hand on ones of Remus', the one that had been banged for nearly a month.

"Keep talking," Lily encouraged, placing a hand on Black's nee. He flinched away and stared at her. Lily ignored the action. "What do you hate about her?"

"She's vain," Black spit out immediately. "And gossipy and nosy. She clings to Prongs like a barnacle. And she gets so annoyed if we refuse to answer every prying question. Or if Prongs wants to spend time with us instead of her she loses it. She keeps saying I should be proud of being a Black, that I should forgive them even though she has no idea why I left. She treats Wormy like garbage and keeps asking Moony these awful questions about his parents. Makes it seem like their relationship is unnatural just because Hope's a muggle."

"And Potter's still going out with her?" Lily hissed outraged. Even at his worst, Lily would give Potter one credit, he was always loyal to his friends.

Black looked away. "He doesn't know."

"What? Why?"

"Cause, as awful as she is, at least she makes him happy. He deserves to be happy."

"You really care about him that much?"

"Yeah. Prongs is like a brother to me. He saved me. I owe him everything."

"He saved you?"

"Yes." The answer was firm, quick, resolute.

"Oh," Lily mulled over the new information.

"I liked it better when he was chasing you," Black admitted.

"Oh? But I thought you were always after Potter's affections. Wasn't I just in the way?"

Black chuckled. "Haven't heard that rumor in a while. Complete bogus though. Boys as straight as they come."

"What about you?" Lily asked.

"I dabble," Black shrugged, "But nothing serious. I don't think I'm meant for relationships."

"So just flings?" Lily inquired.

"Just flings," Black agreed.

"So why?"

"Why just flings?" Black tried to clarify.

"No. Why," Lily paused then started again, "Why did you like it when Potter was chasing me?"

"Because you would never hurt Remus or Peter," Black admitted.

"Never," Lily agreed. "I'd never hurt you either you know. Not on purpose."

Black smiled, but it was still fake, meaningless.

Lily sat with Black for a while longer, thinking over the information. About Fawley, and Potter, and Black. She eventually excused herself, wanting to head to her room to process it all more.

"Thank you."

Lily stopped, surprised at the words. "For what?"

"For listening," Black shrugged. "You were right. It helps to complain."

"Anytime," Lily smiled at the dark-haired boy. She took her leave, not sure what to do with all she knew now. Information is a dangerous thing, she thought as she left the wing.

She froze.

There in the hall was Potter. He sat against the wall, head in his knees, shaking. As she drew closer she could make out the sobs.

"Potter?" Lily crouched down in front of the boy. She gasped as he looked up and she could see the tears running down his face.

"I didn't know," he begged, needing someone to understand. "I didn't know."

"You weren't supposed to," Lily assured him, pulling the once hated boy into a hug. She wanted to sob herself as she felt her shoulder getting wet. His muscles trembled with emotion. He was so…

Human.

Later that night she listened to another person's wails.

Fawley's.

"Did he tell you why?" one of her beautiful cronies asked.

"No," Fawley sobbed. "Just that we weren't a good fit. But we were perfect. He was supposed to be the one."

"What happened?" Lily asked sitting by her friends.

"Potter and Fawley broke up," Marlene leaned forward. "And he did the dumping."

"What?" Lily gasped. "For real?

"For real," Dorcus confirmed. "We were stuck in a closet heard the whole thing. He refused to tell her why though. Very cryptic."

"Speak of the Diricawl," Alice giggled, pointing to the door where Potter entered with Black and Pettigrew. He ran a hand through his hair laughing a something Pettigrew was saying. He happened to glance over and catch her eyes. He waved a little, small, almost unnoticeable.

Lily smiled and waved back.

"You know," Lily admitted to her friends, "maybe James isn't that bad."

Not bad at all.


	19. The Protector

So I fell off the face of the Earth again. But I do have a real legitimate reason. I got engaged. The wedding is this Friday. So basically all of my energy that hasn't been dedicated to school or work has been dedicated to that. So on with the story and happy Halloween!

* * *

James stared at the sky, marking down another star's position, listening as Sirius ranted.

"And then the way he looked at me, it was insulting. And he said, and I quote, 'Are you sure this Black is trustworthy?'"

"Rude," James commented, writing down silver spark.

"Right?" Sirius sighed laying down. "And the only ones who defended me were the Prewetts. They don't trust me, Prongs."

James looked up, "I'm sure that's not true."

"Of course it is," Sirius scoffed.

"They trust us," James insisted.

"They trust you," Sirius corrected. "They trust Peter. Hell, they even trust Remus."

"Remus is not the spy," James scribbled down what cauldron they were supposed to use.

"You don't know that," Sirius grumbled, sitting up.

"It's Remus!" James cried, exasperated. "The guy who still has a stuffed rabbit his mom made him when he was 5 and would make friends with house elves."

"People change," Sirius shrugged.

"It's not Remus or you for that matter," James added a flourish to the end of his explanation of bogtrotters.

"How do you know?" Sirius challenged.

James laughed but it died when he caught sight of Sirius' face. "What are you talking about Padfoot? You'd never turn. You hate them."

"Nah, I don't," Sirius shrugged. "They are my family."

"Stop," James ordered. "This isn't funny."

"It's not a joke." They were now standing in the forest, mist and darkness all around. Sirius' eyes were as black as night.

"Wha… Why?" James begged.

"You weren't there," Sirius said, shrugging. "Guess you never really cared."

"Of course I did. Do," James corrected himself. "I do care. I'm here for you."

"No you're not," Sirius clenched his fist, ring glinting in the darkness. "You can't. You're in hiding. You can't protect us anymore."

There was a howl in the distance. James turned to scan the trees. "Moony?"

"Help!" a voice screamed. "Somebody help me!"

"Wormtail!" he started to run, but Sirius grabbed him, holding tight.

"You can't help them. You can't help any of us!"

"Padfoot," James whimpered. He could see the ring growing, consuming his friend, his brother. "Sirius."

Sirius' face twisted into one of fear. He was 11 again, so alone, so unsure. "I can't get away James. They won't let me go. I'm the heir. Please, I don't wanna be like them."

"Padfoot…"

Darkness sprung out from the mist and encircled Sirius, tearing him away.

"No. No! JAMES!" Sirius screamed unable to fight. Unable to resist.

"SIRIUS!" James tried to run but he couldn't move.

"You can't save him," a voice growled. James turned, staring at his transformed friend. The wolf never talked, he couldn't. James knew that. Yet here they were.

"Any of them," the wolf laughed. "I will not transform back. Remus is no longer."

"That's a lie," James denied. "Once the full moon is gone, Remus will be back!"

The wolf laughed. "What full moon?"

James looked to the sky but couldn't find the full moon. In fact, there was no moon at all. "That's Impossible!"

The wolf laughed and walked away.

"No, Remus," James was on his knees, trying to move forward. He had to save them. Had to help, had to protect. "Please.

"James?"

He turned. There was Peter. Sweet innocent Peter who wasn't ready for the war.

"Peter! Help me!" James begged.

"I can't," Peter shook his head. "I'm too weak."

"No," James denied. "You're so much stronger than you know."

"I'm not," Peter sobbed. "I've never been. I'm so sorry." He dissolved into ash, floating away on the wind.

"Peter!" he was on the ground now. "Please!" He couldn't move. He could hear them calling for him, for safety.

"James! Please!"

"Prongs! Help me!"

"James!"

He awoke in a cold sweat. He had to get to them, had to save them. Where were they? They couldn't be far.

"James?" a sleepy voice mumbled. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

James blinked the nightmare away and turned to his wife. He was home. Godric's Hollow. He was ok.

But they weren't here. Cause he and Lily and little Harry were in hiding. And his friends were out fighting.

Stupid prophecy.

"James?" Lily crawled over to him. "What happened?"

"Nothing," James ran a hand through his hair. "Nightmare."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Lily leaned forward, trying to see his face.

James turned, placing his feet on the floor. "No."

"James," Lily groaned. She sat beside him, taking his hand in her own. "You were kicking in your sleep. I think I woke up right before you did."

"Sorry," James murmured.

"What happened? Please let me help."

"I couldn't save them," James admitted.

"Oh, sweetie. They're ok." She didn't have to ask who "them" were. "I'm sure they're ok."

"No they're not," James rested his head in his hands. "Sirius thinks Remus is the traitor. Remus thinks Sirius is. And he keeps disappearing during the full moon. And Sirius denies it but he's still reeling from Regulus' death. And I have no clue what's going on with Peter." He shuddered. "I've failed them."

"No," Lily gasped. "You haven't sweetie. You've done all you can."

"No I haven't," James stood up and started to pace. "I'm hiding out here! I should be out there, fighting the good fight. Watching Sirius' back. Getting Remus through the moons. Helping Peter with whatever!"

"That's not your job right now," Lily disagreed. "You're job is to be here, with us."

"But.." James started to protest.

"No," Lily stood in front of James. "Harry needs you here. I need you here. The Marauders are strong. They'll survive."

"But what if they don't?" James asked. "What if something happens to them? Something that I can stop but I'm not there so I don't."

"Nothing will happen," Lily promised, taking James' face in her hands. "They'll survive this war."

James closed his eyes and turned his face toward her wedding ring. Placing his hands over hers, he admitted, "I'm failing, Lils. I'm useless."

"No, don't ever say that!" Lily begged. "You are the most amazing person, James Potter. And I love you with all my heart."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Don't know why you do."

"Because you're amazing," Lily told him. "You're sweet and kind, a defender of good. Cause you saw these misfit kids and decided to befriend them instead of shun them. You're so strong, stronger than I am."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are!" Lily insisted. "You're always fighting, always protecting people. Let them protect you now."

James stepped away, walking to the window. He placed his head against it. "I can't even call them to make sure they're alright. Sirius has the mirrors and we're not connected to the flew network."

"For our safety," Lily reminded him. Closing the distance, she wrapped her arms around her husband.

"I know," James nodded, placing his hands over hers. "But I can't check on them."

A faint cry was heard through the house. Lily sighed and started to move.

"No," James stopped her. "I'll get him."

"You sure?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," James nodded. "I might as well be useful to someone."

Lily watched as he left. She sighed sitting down on the bed. This wasn't the first night this had happened.

She supposed it was a side effect of too many years protecting the other Marauders. They had needed it of course, but it took its toll on James.

He hated being cooped up. He hated having to wait for Sirius and Peter to come to see them. They hadn't seen Remus at all due to Sirius' instance that Remus not be allowed to know.

She ran a hand through her hair.

When was the last time James had slept a full night without Lily sneaking a potion into his tea? It was out of control. He never slept on the nights when the moon was full and was fitful at best on the other nights. There had to be something that would help. She'd have to talk to Sirius next time. Tell him that he and Peter needed to visit more.

And that Remus needed to be let in on the secret.

And maybe there was something they could do for the Order on the sidelines.

She got up, moving to the room slowly. She stopped in the doorway of Harry's nursery, smiling at the sight. James was holding Harry, using his wand to produce shapes of the story he was telling.

"Now the fiery princess was starting to become suspicious," James was explaining. "So she went to her friend who was a wizard and asked him about talking animals. And do you know what he said?"

"Babu lu bluuu," Harry babbled.

"That's right! Animals, even magical ones can't talk. So he explained that maybe the frog had been a human but transfigured by a mean witch or wizard. So he went back with the princess to her castle."

"Gah gag gah," Harry interrupted, reaching for James' wand.

"Mmh, hmmm," James gently moved his wand out of the baby's reach, sending another image out to distract him. "When he saw the frog he recognized those weird markings for what they were and turned the frog back into a wizard, crying, "You lying trickster! She will be mocked no more!" and he cast a spell that flung the now human animagi outside. Then he cast another spell to find the animgai's accomplice who had been providing the voice and threw him out too!"

"Boom!" Harry cheered.

James laughed. "Yep, boom. So the wizard explained to the muggle princess that those two were mean nasty muggle haters who were trying to hurt her. The princess was so grateful that she kissed the wizard. And when her father heard what had happened he finally gave them his permission and the muggle princess and the wizard commoner were married. And they lived happily ever after."

Lily clapped lightly from the door. James smiled giving her a mock bow.

"More, more!" Harry asked.

"No," Lily moved in and scooped Harry up. "It's still bedtime. And you've got a big day tomorrow. Remember, Uncle Padfoot is coming tomorrow? And he and Daddy are gonna take you trick-or-treating all over the house."

"Paddy! Paddy!" Harry cheered.

"Yeah, and Mommy and Daddy are gonna talk to him about bringing Uncle Moony over sometime."

"We are?" James asked over Harry's cries of "Moo-moo!"

"Yes," Lily confirmed. "We are."

"He won't agree," James warned.

"Well, then Harry will just have to ask," Lily decide. "Uncle Padfoot never says no to you, does he Little Prongs." Harry giggled as Lily nuzzled their noses together.

James smiled in wonder at her. "I love you."

Lily smiled. "I love you more."

"Me, me," Harry requested.

James laughed pulling his family into his arms. "Of course scamp. We love you the most!"

"Alright," Lily kissed Harry's head. "Back to bed."

"No," Harry said.

"Come on sweetie. Big day remember?" she tried to place him back into the crib, but Harry grabbed on tight.

"No, no, no!"

"Harry," she sighed.

"With Mommy," Harry demanded.

"No, sweetie. You're a big boy now, remember?"

"No. Baby."

James laughed as Lily sighed again. "Harry. Alright fine, but this is the last time." She tapped his nose. Harry gave her a mischievous smile.

"No it's not," James continued laughing.

"Shh!" Lily mock hissed. "He doesn't need to know that!" She let out her own giggle as James pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

"Me, me!"

"You, you," James chuckled, kissing Harry's forehead.

They made their way back to the master bedroom. He looked at the different pictures that decorated the walls. Some of his parents, some of Lily's parents, some of his. Plenty of the Marauders with baby Harry. And of course Lily. All candid, all real.

Who had time for a professional photographer when there was a war going on?

He stepped into the room and smiled at Lily settling Harry in. She looked up at him. "What?"

James crawled into bed. "I love you."

Lily smiled. "I love you more."

"I love you most." James sealed his promise with a kiss.


	20. Privileged

A (not so) quick little one-shot based off a tumbler post I found on Printest by omgpadfoot. So the original idea is not me. It was short when first wrote it. then I added backstory. Hope everyone is staying warm and safe this winter. My area has basically shut down cause we can barely handle an inch of snow and we have like 6 now. Maybe... I don't want to go measure it and I'm not mean enough to send the Hubby out unless necessary. So on with the story!

* * *

James bolted upright, blood running cold. Someone was screaming again. His feet hit the floor before he was fully aware of this fact.

Sirius was crying. "No! Don't want it! Please!"

"Sirius! Padfoot! Wake up!" James shook his friend's shoulders.

"Please, no!"

"It's not real! Wake up!"

Sirius gasped, going from one fight to the next. "Let go!"

"No," James replied softly, pulling Sirius close. "Not until you know you're safe, Pads."

Sirius froze. "James?"

"I'm right here," James promised.

Sirius shuddered, leaning into the embrace. It was just them, he could be weak.

"Shh," James tried to soothe, running a hand through Sirius' hair. "You're ok. You're safe."

"Everything ok?" a tired Peter asked.

"Yeah," James sighed. He squinted at his other friends. Both blobs. "How ya doin' Wormy?"

"I'm good," Peter yawned.

"Moony?" James scrunched his eyebrows when he didn't get a response.

"He's not here," Peter announced.

"What?" That couldn't be right. Remus had been there when they went to sleep.

"Here," Peter handed James his glasses.

"Thanks," James placed them on as he looked to see that Remus' bed was indeed empty. "Where'd he go?"

"Moon," Sirius whispered.

James cursed when he saw the mostly full moon. "Of course." He couldn't just have one friend suffering from nightmares. "You up to going downstairs?" He couldn't leave Sirius alone right now.

"In a minute," Sirius requested.

"Ok," James agreed. Peter went to each trunk and pulled out the essentials. Once they were ready James lead the trio down to the common room.

Remus sat in his favorite chair staring into the fire. Positioned so he would have no view of the moon outside.

James sat on the arm. "Is it tomorrow?"

"No. The night after."

"Did you even get any sleep?"

Remus shrugged. "An hour. Maybe two."

"Was it Snape again?" Sirius asked.

"No," Remus denied. "Much worse."

"Sorry," Sirius murmured.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Remus assured him. "These dreams started way before last year's catastrophe."

"But they got worse," Sirius pointed out.

"Yes," Remus agreed. "But that's not your fault."

Sirius said nothing, instead, he sat in front of Remus' chair, head down. After placing a book on the coffee table Peter began passing out the essentials, each of their stuffed animals, and quilts that had been made by Mrs. Potter, Ms. Pettigrew, and Mrs. Lupin for their third Christmas together.

Remus smiled as he accepted his old stuffed rabbit. "Thanks, Wormy."

"No problem," Peter sat next to Sirius handing the distressed child his quilt.

"So why are all of you up?" Remus asked.

"Padfoot couldn't sleep," James shrugged, playing with the well-loved stuffed deer.

"Oh. What happened?" Remus asked, tapping Sirius with his foot.

Sirius shrugged. "Same old, same old. Stupid ring." He clutched the stuffed dog closer. Despite being newer the toy was already starting to lose some of its shape.

Remus nodded. "I don't like that thing."

"Here, here," Peter agreed.

James smiled. Forcing his way onto the large chair he pulled Remus close. They all sat watching the fire crackle. A little house elf joined them for a moment, handing out tea and hot chocolate.

"Thank you, Gillie," James said. The other three murmured their thanks.

"No needs to thanks me," Gillie refused. "Gillie is pleased to serve."

"Sweet elf," Sirius wishperd after Gillie left.

"Yeah," James agreed.

Remus sighed and moved to one of the sofas, still carefully positioned. James followed, Sirius and Peter after him. James sat on one side of Remus, Peter on the other side. Sirius made sure to drop himself across all three of their laps, with his head on James' lap.

Peter yawned. "What time is it?"

James looked at the clock. "2:47. We got maybe three hours before anyone else comes down."

"Try and get some sleep while you can," Remus encouraged. He looked at James. "You too."

"You know I'm not gonna sleep with both of you up," James shrugged.

"Try anyway," Sirius insisted.

"Sure," James ran a hand through Sirius' hair. "So the ring?"

"Yeah," Sirius readjusted himself. "Wasn't even given a choice. It just attached itself. Couldn't get it off. It just burned."

James' brow furrowed. "Anyone there?"

"Grandfather, and my parents," Sirius curled into himself a little. "They all looked so smug, like they had won."

"But they haven't, James promised.

"Yeah," Sirius sighed.

"What about you?" James turned to Remus, who shrugged.

"Nah-uhh, you promised," Sirius accused. "I told you my nightmare, your turn."

Remus sighed, "I'd really rather not."

Sirius half sat up. "You have to! You swore you would Moony."

"Padfoot," James placed a hand on his shoulder, "Down boy." He forced Sirius to lay back down, half hoping one of the distressed boys would fall back asleep. "You did promise," he informed Remus.

Remus was silent, staring into the fire.

"No judgment zone," Peter called out.

Remus forced a smile, while James chuckled. "Right, no judgment. You can't control what you dream about, but you need to talk about it."

"You promised," Sirius reminded again.

"It was you guys," Remus finally admitted.

James looked at the werewolf. "What?"

Remus leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "We were running through the halls, near Charms I think. And then the moon came out and I turned. But you guys couldn't change. And I was running after you. I…" he took a shuddering breath, "I almost killed you."

They were all quite as James pulled the crying boy into a hug. "That won't happen," James promised. That's why we learned to transform, so we can help you. So we can protect you from yourself."

"But what if…"

"Never gonna happen," James promised. "That's why we made sure to transform several times before we went with you the first time. It's as easy as breathing."

"Sometimes easier," Sirius added.

James forced back a grimace. One issue at a time.

"Yeah, I know," Remus sighed, closing his eyes. "But I still worry."

"Well don't," James threw an arm around him. "We've got this."

"Ye-a-ah," Peter agreed with a yawn. "We've got you covered."

James smiled fondly, "Go to sleep, Wormy."

"Not ti-i-ired," Peter protested, curling up next to Remus. "I could go for days."

"Sure you could," Sirius agreed. They all chuckled as soft snores sounded.

"Well, anything else we need to talk about?" James asked. Sirius shrugged, while Remus shook his head. Ok, that was enough for one night. "Accio book." The book that Peter had laid down flew to his hands. "Alright, chapter 3."

* * *

"Totally wrong," Sirius argued. "It has to be the butler. It's always the butler."

"It's never the butler," Remus disagreed, spreading jam on his toast. "Besides, the butler is the obvious choice. You always discount the obvious choice. They're a red herring."

"What's a red he-ahr-ing?" James yawned, dishing some berries into his porridge.

"Basically a fake out," Remus explained. "Told you to sleep."

"I'm fine," James waved him off. "We have History of Magic anyways. I'll just sleep through that."

"Right," Remus rolled his eyes. James gave him a cheeky grin and threw some fruit onto Sirius' empty plate.

Sirius didn't comment, used to the routine. He tossed a berry into his mouth. "Did you even listen to the story last night?"

"I didn't," Peter admitted.

"That's fine, you needed sleep," Remus waved Peter off. "And yes, I did. And I'm actually using my brain to figure out the mystery. It was Maggie."

"The girlfriend?"

"Running theory, I think Marco slept with Veronica and Maggie found out," Remus explained.

"0h, revenge," Sirius nodded. "Interesting. So you think Veronica's mystery baby daddy is Marco?"

"It would fit," James chimed in.

"Hmm," Peter nodded. "Interesting theory."

The other three looked at him. "You fell asleep before I even started reading," James reminded him.

"Yeah, but I can still appreciate a good theory," Peter shrugged, face red.

"True," Remus agreed. Peter smiled gratefully.

"I still say it's the butler," Sirius threw a berry in the air and caught it in his mouth.

"Why?" Remus asked. "What reason could you possibly have?"

Sirius smirked. "Gut feeling."

"Of course," Remus chuckled.

James perked up a little as he caught sight of red hair. He leaned back and ran a hand through his messy locks. "Evans."

"Not in the mood Potter," Lily hissed, marching past.

James shrugged and threw some more fruit onto Sirius' plate.

"I can feed myself, mummy," Sirius said.

"Yes you can," James agreed, "but you won't."

Sirius huffed and nibbled on a watermelon.

"You need your strength Pads. We've got a big practice today," James explained.

"And what will be your excuse tomorrow?" Sirius asked.

"Moon?" Remus offered.

"Fair," Sirius nodded.

"Have we finalized plans for that?" Peter asked eagerly.

"Not in public," Remus warned.

"You worry too much," Sirius laughed.

"You don't worry enough," Remus chided.

"Somewhere between you two is the perfect amount of worry," James cut in. He didn't want to deal with his friends fighting today. It had been three days since he'd been able to sleep the whole night through. And there was only so much he could handle today.

Sirius' grandfather's owl had delivered a note to Regulus and Sirius had basically gone into his version of a meltdown. Some quick investigation (having Wormtail sneak into the Slytherin common room because Regulus was being a brat and wouldn't talk to Sirius) revealed that the note was actually from their father.

Even so the nightmares the last few nights were worse and James couldn't sleep if his friends were suffering.

Remus and Sirius seemed to sense this because they both mumbled apologies and went back to eating.

Good.

Honestly, James was so tired. He'd been so worried about Sirius over the last few days that he'd honestly forgotten about the stupid moon. And Peter was in a near constant nervous state with Owls coming up at the end of the year.

Also being Quidditch captain he had their game against Hufflepuff to worry about. And then Slytherin, hopefully for the cup. No pressure there. The rivalry between the two houses was escalating with Voldemort gaining support both inside and outside the school.

Sirius stiffened next to him. James immediately looked up searching for the black owl of doom, but it was nowhere to be seen. But there was the Eagle Owl that belonged to Sirius' mother.

Crap.

He did not want to deal with this today.

The bird swooped towards them and dropped the letter in front of Sirius. On the bright side, it wasn't a howler. On the downside, Sirius pushed his plate away.

Darn it.

"What's it say?" James asked.

"Don't know, don't care," Sirius threw the letter into his bag. "Potions first, right?"

* * *

James was sick of this. Of the ever-rotating list of teachers for Defense against the Dark Arts, this one was the worst.

She was on another anti-werewolf tirade. They weren't even supposed to be studying werewolves. Most of the students were giving her their full attention. Some weren't, either because they'd heard it all before and were bored of it or (less likely) knew it was a load of bull. Lily Evan's, he happily noted, was filling her nails, not even bothering to pretend to listen.

Remus was sinking lower and lower in his chair. None of the rotating teachers knew about Remus' furry little problem for good reason. So thankfully Professor Revie had no clue that there was one sitting right in front of her. Otherwise, the pitchforks might come out.

Sirius was trying to hold back a growl, turning his muggle pen around his fingers in an effort to distract himself.

"I'm gonna do something reckless," he finally growled under his breath.

"Don't," Remus pleaded. "You'll only get in trouble."

"Don't care," Sirius snuck his wand out. "I'm sick of her lies."

"Padfoot…" Remus looked to James for help.

To the untrained eye it looked like James and Sirius just did whatever popped into their heads with no thought or filter. And while that did happen, most of the time that wasn't the case. A lot of it was actually reining Sirius in. He'd grown up in an awful environment and didn't always realized where the line was. Or that there was a line. Sometimes James completely stopped him, others he just helped Sirius do something gentler.

And still, other times he completely encouraged and supported Sirius' twisted side.

"Lead the way," James snuck out his own wand.

Sirius smirked. He was hurting. He wanted to get rid of that pain by pushing it on someone else. Today James could help with that.

"Diffindo," Sirius muttered, pointing to the huge tapestries that Professor Revie had hanging up. One fell in a heap.

The Professor turned to look at it, her eyes flashing. "Who did that?!" Her eyes went straight to some muggleborns.

James smirked, adding his own spell to the blackboard. Bright flashing letters now read 'Werewolves are fluffy little cuddle balls.' A chuckle ran through the room.

Revie glared at all of them. "Who's doing this? You won't like it when I find out."

Another tapestry fell. 'Werewolves like candy' appeared under the first line. Revie walked up and down the rows searching. She didn't spare the two purebloods a glance. Her mistake.

Sirius waited until she was under a tapestry before making it fall. James made sure to add a charm so the tapestry wouldn't hurt her just be inconvenient. As soon as she was covered Revie let out a loud shriek.

Quickly stowing their wands James and Sirius made sure to look just as shocked as the rest of the students when Professor Flitwick ran in. "What is going on in here?!"

"The tapestry just fell on Professor Revie," Remus explained.

Flitwick took in the room and made no comment on the flashing words on the board. He used his wand to move the tapestry off of the murderous looking Revie.

Who now had sparkly rainbow hair?

James looked at Sirius who shrugged. They glanced at Remus who shook his head. A look at Peter revealed that he had been sucked into a sketch he was working on and couldn't have reached his wand. Interesting.

"Oh my! Are you alright?" Flitwick asked.

"One of these little scoundrels is in big trouble!" Revie hissed.

"Do you know who did it?"

Revie looked around, but everyone was looking at each other confused. Perfect. They might get away with this one.

"I'll find out," she promised.

"Well in the meantime let's have Madam Pomfrey check you over. Make sure the tapestry didn't hurt you at all," Flitwick suggested.

"Right," Revie agreed. "Three feet on Hinkeypunks, due next class. Dismissed."

Everybody hurried to gather their things together and rush out the door.

"Did she even talk about Hinkeypunks?" Peter asked, eyes wide.

"No she didn't," Sirius shook his head. "Freaking Banshee."

"Agreed," James threw his bag over his shoulder. "I think she got off easy."

"No," Remus pleaded. "If she figures out it's you guys…"

"She won't," Sirius waved him off, sneering. "She's too bigoted. She'd never suspect a couple of Purebloods."

"What to do? What to do?" James tapped his chin.

"Not today," Remus begged. "Please? Just at least wait till after the moon?"

Sirius opened his mouth but James cut in. "That'll actually work. That way she won't suspect anything."

"Fine," Sirius agreed. "We'll wait. But it's gotta be good. I'm so sick of her."

"Room on the ceiling?" Peter offered.

"Maybe," Sirius mused. "I gotta do something, I'll meet you guys at History of Magic." He ditched into one of the hidden hallways.

"Are we just gonna let him leave?" Remus asked.

James sighed. "I'll give him ten minutes. Then I'll go after him."

"I'll make sure to take notes," Remus promised.

"Thanks," James nodded.

* * *

James made sure to knock before he entered their dorm. Sirius was seated at the window staring down at the grounds. James picked up the letter and skimmed through it. The usual mumbo jumbo about behavior and loyalty. Also a note about how Sirius' grandfather had been very displeased about Sirius not coming home for Christmas. Yikes.

"Thought you were gonna come sooner," Sirius admitted.

James shrugged. "Thought you might want some time alone."

"Hmmm," Sirius nodded.

"Should we be worried about this?" James held up the letter.

"Not until Summer," Sirius admitted. "I'm safe here until then."

"You don't sound very convinced," James called him out.

Sirius shrugged. "Wouldn't put it past him, but it's not likely."

"Right," James sat on the floor. "Wanna come to my place this summer?"

"They'll never allow it."

"When has that ever stopped us?"

Sirius let out a forced chuckle. "Never while we were here. But it's different there."

"Shouldn't be," James picked at the carpet. He leaned his head against the wall, allowing his eyes to close. It really had been a while since he'd last slept through the night and it was catching up to him. He could feel himself start to doze.

James jerked awake as Sirius moved from the windowsill. "Siri?"

"I'm going for a run. I'll be back in time for practice," Sirius explained, switching his school robes for the ones he practiced Quidditch in.

"Sounds like a plan," James stretched and stood up.

"You don't have to come," Sirius assured him.

"Yeah," James agreed, "but I want to."

"Ok," Sirius agreed, a small true smile on his face. James was grateful. He wasn't sure he could leave Sirius alone right now.

They didn't bother to wait, transforming just outside the school and running to the forest. James had to sprint for a moment to be able to lead Sirius under the window where History of Magic met. Hopefully, Remus or Peter would see them and understand. If they didn't James had left a note in their dorm.

They ran and leaped and jumped through the forest that had become their playground in recent years. Padfoot went his top speed, easily leaving Prongs in the dust. But he made sure to double back, sometimes running circles around his friend. He barked joyfully anytime Prongs came close, then bounded away again.

Their strange game of tag aloud the boys to ignore the world. Even if just for a few hours.

* * *

"No," James growled, flying over to Rowle to correct him. Again. "Were you even listening when we went over this?"

"What's the big deal Potter? We're only going against Hufflepuff," Rowle sneered.

"We don't underestimate any teams," James yelled. "That's how you lose. Now grab the ball so we can run it again." He did not have the patience for this today.

"I could always 'accidentally' knock him off his broom," Sirius offered.

"No," James refused. "His backup is worse than him. I need new chasers."

"Hmmm," Sirius nodded. "Maybe ask Meekon? See if she knows any girls who might be good that didn't try out?"

"Might work," James agreed. "We're a bit of a sausage fest right now. Not many girls tried out though. Well, not many who actually have some skills."

"They just wanted to be near you Prongs," Sirius leaned forward slightly and batted his eyes.

"Please," James rolled his eyes. "We both know your bad boy image is more attractive. "

"Merlin knows why," Sirius tightened the ponytail his hair was in. "Really they should all be falling for Remus or Peter. They're the actual good ones."

James laughed. "Is that how girls brains work?"

"I don't know," Sirius shrugged. "They're girls."

"Hey Potter, can we get back to practice or are you gonna chat up your woman some more?" Rowle called out.

James turned ready to (possibly valiantly) retaliate but Sirius grabbed him. "Don't. I don't care. He's just jealous, Captain."

James turned back, "But.."

"I've been called worse," Sirius shrugged.

"That doesn't help. Why would that help?" James asked.

"Just perfect the Porskoff Play," Sirius ignored his question. "I'll go talk to Meekon."

"Ok. But we're talking about that later," James flew to the other two chasers. "Alright, let's do that again."

* * *

James was happy to meet up with Remus when the disastrous practice was over. "Where's Wormtail?"

"Mary Macdonald is tutoring him right now," Remus answered gathering his books together. "He's really freaking out about OWLS this year."

"He'll be fine," Sirius answered, walking up. "He's smarter than he thinks."

"I know that, but he has test anxiety," Remus slung his bag over his shoulder and tried to hide a wince as it hit his back. "And it doesn't hurt to study."

"Doesn't hurt to not study," Sirius shrugged.

"Yes, it does. That hurts a lot for most people," Remus glared.

"Why didn't he ask one of us to help?" James asked.

Remus' glare turned into a grimace. "I was supposed to, but I just wasn't up to it today."

"Bad moon?" James asked.

"Possibly," Remus shrugged, looking around. "Won't really know till tomorrow night." He shifted his bag.

Sirius rolled his eyes and stole Remus' bag.

"I can carry that myself," Remus reached for it.

"No," Sirius stepped further away. "I'll give it back when we get back to the dorm."

"Padfoot…"

"Stop," James cut in. "Can you two just not fight today?"

"Sorry," both boys apologized. Remus gave up trying to get his bag back.

"So, how was practice?"

"Awful," James answered immediately. "Rowle was being especially arrogant and rude today. I need new people. People that will actually be willing to learn and improve." He looked to Sirius. "Please tell me Meekon knows some people."

"She said she'd ask around," Sirius shrugged "and she'd get back to us."

"I'll take it," James nodded. "We've got two weeks before the Hufflepuff match. And if we win that then it's Slytherin."

"We'll win," Sirius assured him.

"Not with this team we won't," James disagreed. "Rowle and Smith think they're the most amazing chasers of all time. Eaton has potential but he's not ready yet. And Marton can't hit the stupid bludger straight. You, Meekon, and Bailey are my only good players. If it wasn't for Bailey catching the Snitch so fast we would have lost to Ravenclaw. And we can't count on that. We need to get more points than 160 and I can't carry the chasers!"

"Woah, woah," Sirius stepped in front of James. "Relax Prongsie. It's gonna be fine. Meekon is gonna ask around, see if she can find other people. And if not then you just tell me who to knock off their broom."

James chuckled. "Yeah, I guess."

"It's gonna be fine," Sirius promised, suddenly smirking. "Worst case scenario we get Remus to be a chaser."

"That is a horrible idea," Remus said immediately palling.

"Don't worry Moony, we'll catch you when you fall off the broom," Sirius promised.

"When?" Remus answered. "When I fall off? Why am I friends with you?"

Sirius grinned. "Cause I'm awesome?"

"You're really not," Remus replied dryly.

Sirius pouted. "You're in denial, my friend."

"I don't think he is," James laughed, unable to keep a straight face.

"Rude," Sirius punched him in the arm and then laughed as they continued on their way.

James allowed himself to rub his tired eyes under his glasses. Man, he really needed a nap. But he doubted he would get one. Maybe he'd be lucky and Sirius and Remus would sleep through the night.

Yeah right. He and Snape had a better chance of suddenly being best friends and braiding each others hair.

Speaking of the slimy git…

There he was sitting next to a certain red-headed Gryffindor. Well, James supposed he had to save her from his slimy clutches.

He changed his gait from tired to a swagger. A quick hand through his hair made it look even more windswept then it was. A smirk adorned his face. He heard Remus groan beside him. Well, ignore that vote of confidence.

"Evans," he crooned, "Just the girl I was looking for."

"Still not in the mood," she hissed, not even turning away from Snape.

"Aw, come on, Evans. Just a moment of your time?"

"She said no Potter," Snape cut in.

"I wasn't talking to you, Snvialous," James hissed.

"Don't call him that," Evans snapped. "And I already told you, I'm not in the mood."

"Let's just go," Remus whispered.

"Ahh, come on Evans," James continued hoping desperately for a win. "Give me a chance, I'll change your mind."

"If you haven't changed my mind the last million times, why would you change it now?"

"Cause this time you'll give me a chance," James smirked.

Evan's laughed, cold, hard, and quick. "No."

James shrugged, holding back a sigh. He could only fight so long today. He was sure if he could just get her alone she would change her mind about him. He wasn't that bad, he knew it.

"Alright, I can take a hint," James held his hands up in surrender.

"Can you now?" Snape hissed. "I thought you had to have everything spoon fed to you."

James raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Snape sneered. "You and your privileged friends. You have to have everything spoon fed to you. What's it like boys? Being so privileged?"

It shouldn't have gotten to him. Even in that second, James knew that. But he was so tired. Tired of the nightmares. Tired of stopping two opposite personalities fighting when they were tired and stressed. Tired of dealing with teammates who thought they were Merlin's gift to wizards. Tired of the tears, and the letters, and the not eating cause damn it, you need something in your stomach. Tired of the fake smiles and the fake arrogance.

He was so tired.

SMACK!

Snape fell flat on his back with a loud crack. It was one of the most satisfying sounds James had ever heard. Lily was screaming at him but for once he didn't care. Snape did not get to say that. Not about his friends who were now gaping at him.

"Mr. Potter!" James looked up to see the controlled storm that was Professor McGonagall coming towards him. "My office. Now!"

He followed the angry professor, waving his friends off when they made to follow. He'd be fine. He would take whatever punishment she dished out. It would be worth it.

"Sit," she hissed. James obeyed. "What were you thinking?!"

"That he needed to be punched," James answered.

"That is not allowed. If we don't allow you to use wands in the corridors, why would you think punching someone was ok?"

"Cause he deserved it," James shrugged. "Should've hit him a few more times."

"Oh for heaven's sake," McGonagall tried to massage an oncoming headache away. "That is not how this works Potter. Of all the…"

"He called us privileged," James interrupted.

McGonagall stopped pacing and looked at the boy. "What?"

"He called us privileged," James said again.

McGonagall sat down and gestured for him to continue.

"I am privileged. I won't deny that," James began. "I'm from an old family, with money, and power, and influence. Heck, I'm an only child, an heir. My parents have always doted on me, calling me their miracle child. On top of that, I'm popular, Quidditch captain, and one of the top students. Don't deny it."

McGonagall clicked her tongue but said nothing.

"And I've found amazing friends. But they're not privileged. "

McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Sirius is a Black. Also old and rich and powerful but that's a burden to him. They expect him to uphold ideals he disagrees with. His Mother still sends awful letters. No howlers recently but her words are just as cutting written down. He's always worse those days. And he shuts down every time his Grandpa's owl swoops in.

"Also he still has awful nightmares. They won't stop. And Regulus won't talk to him.

"And then there's Remus. Cursed since he was four. Yes, we know. No, we don't care. He started packing when we confronted him about it. Thought we were gonna tell everyone.

"Stupid curse sends him to hell and back once a month. And he tries so hard to keep up in class. And he has nightmares too. It's hard to get a full nights sleep between those two."

James let out a hollow chuckle.

"Both of them have had their confidence shot to hell. Peter too. And they both act like they aren't hurting and everything's great but it's not. The world is against them. Because of things they can't control. Things they didn't ask for. And still, they slap a smile on their faces."

James took a deep breath and looked at McGonagall. "Snape can call me whatever he wants, spoiled, privileged, entitled, I don't care. But he doesn't get to call Sirius and Remus that. I won't let him. And I don't care if you kick me off the Quidditch team and force me to serve detention for the rest of my life, I will still punch him if he ever calls them that again. Cause as much as they deserve to be, Sirius and Remus are not privileged."

McGonagall studied James for a long while. You wouldn't know how good he was by just looking at him. She forgot sometimes what her students were going through cause they hid it so well. But James couldn't forget. He wouldn't let himself.

"I see," she nodded. "Add 15 more inches to your homework for tomorrow. You're dismissed."

James gaped at her. "What?"

"You heard me, Mr. Potter. Now go. I'm sure your friends are waiting outside."

James stood up and was almost out the door when McGonagall added, "And the next time you punch someone I will be writing to your parents."

"Understood, ma'am," James agreed, returning to his friends.

McGonagall sighed resting her head in her hands. What was she going to do with those Marauders?


	21. Meet the Family

Sirius rubbed his neck as he walked up the Potter's stairs. Even though he'd already moved out he would crash there every once in a while, on those days when he didn't want to be alone. Euphemia had kept his room for him so he might as well take advantage.

He walked past James' room, then stopped. Backtracking he looked in to see James fussing with a tie, hair slicked down.

"Now who's worse than a girl?" He called out.

James turned. "Padfoot? What are you doing here?"

"Dropping in for a visit," he sat on James' bed, eyeing the assortment of Muggle clothes. "And what are you up to?"

James groaned. "I'm supposed to meet Lily's parents tonight."

"You haven't met them yet?"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean.." James flopped face first on top of the clothes.

"I vaguely remember meeting them at the station," Sirius recalled.

"Briefly," James turned his head. "It doesn't count."

"Why?"

"Cause they want to get to know me." James rolled over. "Besides, Petunia and Vernon will be there."

"And they are?"

"Lily's sister and her husband."

"Ah," Sirius nodded. "The jealous wizard hater."

"Yep," James popped his "p." "I'm kinda hoping I'll change their minds."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I know, it's dumb, and it probably won't work. But the fact is Lily hates the way Petunia treats her. It really hurts her. And maybe I can help fix it."

Sirius nodded. "Well, you're not fixing anything dressed like that."

James looked at his clothes. "It's not working is it?"

"No. Trust the aristocrat who aced Muggle Studies. Plaid shirt with tye dye tie and pinstripe pants? You look like you just escaped a psycho ward."

"Which is?"

"Hospital for crazy people."

"Ah, yeah," James nodded. "This is like the fifth outfit I've tried."

"Ok, let's try again." He looked over the shirts. "So what kind of image do we want?"

"Um, what?"

"First impressions are important, Jamesie," Sirius explained. "It doesn't matter if you're at your lowest, as long as no one knows."

"Sounds like Black propaganda."

"It is," Sirius agreed, pulling a sky blue shirt out of the pile. "But there's truth to it." He held the shirt up. "How set are you on a tie?"

"It'll help me look nice," James stopped himself from running a hand through his hair.

"K. But the tie should be darker," Sirius rummaged through the ties. "Oh. Let's do the red tie and some slacks." Sirius handed James the clothes.

James looked at the ensemble. "Nice. You're good at this."

"Some things never leave you," Sirius shrugged. "When are you leaving?"

"Got about half an hour," James looked at his watch. "If I leave now I can get Lily some flowers."

"Well go on then," Sirius waved him away. "I'll see you tomorrow if I'm not still awake when you get home."

"Alright. Thank you," James hugged him.

"What are best friends for?" Sirius smiled. "Have fun tonight."

"I will."

* * *

Lily loved her flowers. And he made sure to get some for her mother as well cause that felt appropriate. The four of them met on time at the restaurant. Then they had to wait 20 minutes for Vernon and Petunia.

"Tuney," Lily's mother greeted her eldest. "And Vernon. So lovely to see you."

"Rose," Vernon greeted. "Always a pleasure. And John," he greeted Mr. Evans. "Lovely weather."

"Of course, of course. You remember Lily."

"Yes," Vernon sneered. "And this is?"

James ignored the heckles that began to rise when Vernon approached. "James Potter. I'm Lily's boyfriend." He held out his hand.

"I see," Vernon barely glanced at his hand, turning back to the Evan's instead. "Let's get us all inside. I'm can't believe they made you wait out in the cold, Rose."

James looked at Lily who rolled her eyes. "You're fine. He's just a jerk," she whispered.

"No," James disagreed. "I've met jerks. Merlin, I am a jerk. That is something else. Not even sure it's human." He glanced sideways at her with a sly grin. "Maybe a wareworm?"

Lily let out a loud laugh causing her family to look back in concern. She waved them off then smacked James lightly. "You pig."

James smirked. "But you love me."

"Unfortunately," Lily agreed.

James made sure to grab Lily's chair for her before taking his own. The Evan's smiled their approval. He was grateful that some of the etiquette lessons had stuck.

After that Vernon took over the conversation. James couldn't get a word in if he tried. He was surprised the monster of a man didn't try to order for everyone.

Petunia said a few things, all snooty. It reminded him of a less prim Narcissa. No. That wasn't fair to Narcissa. She could be nice. Maybe she was another mythical creature. Hmmm… something with a long neck. Maybe a Doxy.

James let out a chuckle. The family looked at him confused. Crap. What had they been talking about?

"Sorry. Just thinking about something Sirius said earlier," he fibbed quickly. Didn't want his actual line of thought to get him in trouble.

"Sirius?" John questioned. "Is that a nickname?"

"No, Daddy," Lily cut in. "That's his actual name."

"Oh. How odd."

Lily grabbed James' arm to stop him from saying something he'd regret. "It's normal for them actually. Wizards can have all kinds of fascinating names. Why one of our other friends is Remus. And one of the girls I roomed with was Dorcas."

Vernon scoffed. "Of course. Trust _wizards_ to give their offspring abnormal names."

"And what's wrong with their names?" James glared.

"Of course _you_ wouldn't notice, being one of them."

"For your information, Dorcus is Greek. Sirius is the brightest star in the sky. And Remus was named after one of the founders of Rome. His mother, who is _not_ a witch, named him. Maybe not everyone is a James or Peter but I think that makes things much more interesting."

"Oh thank Merlin, the foods here," Lily interrupted the boys' glaring contest.

"So, Vernon, how's work going?"

Vernon dove into a long boring speech about drills. James wasn't sure what those were. Some kind of clothing line? He'd have to ask Lily later. He watched as Vernon puffed out his chest talking about a particularly important sale. James had seen that body language enough. All show, that's what it was.

"According to Mr. Smith if I keep this up I'll make partner in no time."

"Excellent," John approved. "And what about you James?"

Lily froze as James blinked himself out of a stupor. "What about me?"

"What do you do for work?"

"Oh. Well, I don't actually have a job right now," James admitted.

"I see," John nodded. "It can be difficult to find something right out of school."

"No," James disagreed. "I haven't really looked for work."

Vernon scoffed and Petunia let out a sniffling humph. The Evan's easygoing smiles turned to disapproval.

"You haven't looked for work?" John repeated. "How do you expect to care for my daughter if you don't work? How will you provide for a family?"

James was taken aback by that. It had never been a concern about how he'd provide.

Lily cut in sharply. "It doesn't matter, Daddy. We're not getting married any time soon anyway. He doesn't need to provide for me." James ignored the usual pang those words brought.

"Even so, darling, he needs to think about these things. You marry who you date, and if he can't provide for you…" John trailed off.

"Probably planning to live off the government," Vernon sneered. "Do _your people_ have a government, or do you just plan to take advantage of ours?"

James stared in shock. "What just happened?" He looked at each of them. "I said I wasn't looking for a job and suddenly I'm a bum? Can I defend myself?" The Evan's looked at each other then nodded to James. "Ok, first off, I don't know if Lily told you this but we're in the middle of a war right now."

Rose's face paled. "She's mentioned it."

"My friends and I are fighting in it. If I was to get a job that would take away from the time I have to defend everything I believe in and love," he glanced at Lily. "Second, I don't actually need a job. If I live a hundred years and never worked a day in my life I would still have enough to provide for two Quidditch teams worth of kids. Wizard game," he waved off their silent question. " I happen to come from a very old and powerful wizard family. And my own father quadrupled our fortune. If Lily were to ever marry me, I swear she would have a better life than any fairytale princess. She will never have to work a second in her life unless she wants to. And even if I didn't have a knut to my name, I would still love her till the end of our days and beyond. I would strive to make sure she's the happiest and most beloved woman in the world. Isn't that enough?"

James watched them. Vernon and Petunia looked unimpressed. John and Rose were smiling. Lily giving him a look that he didn't understand.

"What?"

Instead of answering she gave him one of the sweetest kisses he ever remembered. So what if he couldn't change the Dursleys' minds. Lily didn't care. And honestly neither did he. As long as Lily was happy. That was all that mattered.


	22. Building Bridges: Peter

Happy Green Day! My husband mentioned how Peter kinda gets pushed to the side a lot so this is for him. Also, for anyone who might be waiting for Disney Nerds to be updated, I am working on it. Slowly... But I am working on it. Also warning for mild language because of angry boys.

* * *

It was one of those nights when he was restless. There were no nightmares, no fear. He just couldn't sleep.

Sirius sighed, rolling over again and forcing his eyes closed. 'Sleep,' he thought. 'You have to sleep.' He had class in the morning. And it wasn't History of Magic, so the professor would notice if he fell asleep in class.

Maybe he should get something from the kitchen. Remus had mentioned once about warm milk helping.

He had to be quiet or the others might wake up. James especially was gaining a sixth sense. He glanced over. James was snoring away. Listening carefully, he could hear Remus' deep breathing. Good, he needed the sleep. The full moon was about a week out, so the sleepless nights would soon begin.

He glanced at Peter's bed, more out of habit than a real concern. It wasn't that he didn't like Peter per se. Peter was just Peter. Nothing special, always hanging around, terrified of every loud noise. How he got sorted into Gryffindor Sirius would never know.

It surprised him that the curtains had been haphazardly thrown back. Upon closer inspection, he realized that Peter wasn't there. How had he gotten past Sirius?

He should wake James up. James would know what to do. James actually liked Peter. Except…

He hesitated. He shouldn't, but he did. James would know what to do, _he_ always did. He was actually capable of naturally being nice. Sirius wasn't.

He was always having to bite his tongue. It was as Black as the rest of him, naturally cruel. James had pointed it out enough times, usually without words.

It was strange. He was used to being afraid of people, of cruel hands and sharp tongues. If someone even mentioned his Grandfather he broke out in a cold sweat. But his fear of James was different. He never worried about James cutting him with words or raising a hand to him. No. But when James gave him _that_ look….

His world crumbled and he wasn't sure how he would ever feel whole again.

But, oh, when James was proud of him, how he would soar!

James had a weird power over him. One that he would never understand he was sure.

He hadn't been the best today, he knew it. Especially to Peter. James had gotten more protective of Peter since they came back from break.

Peter had come back devastated. His father had left for good a few days before Christmas.

Remus and James tried their best to lift Peter's spirits. They sympathize with his loss. And Sirius tried to as well. But honestly, Sirius was a little jealous. He would love it if his own father left. Orion never would of course. He would never do anything to tarnish the Black name.

He'd said something about how Peter should be grateful his father left, Sirius would have been. He knew it was the wrong thing the moment it left his lips. James hadn't said anything, just gave him _that look._ He needed to do something to fix it. To get James' approval back.

But could he actually help Peter?

He should wake James up.

Instead, he borrowed the invisibility cloak and headed downstairs.

Peter was sitting by one of the windows, staring out. Sirius crept next to him and looked at the grounds. It was a bit foggy tonight, kinda creepy. He glanced at Peter who was now sketching. Sirius glanced at the page. Peter had been sketching the night, adding creatures that weren't there to make it even worse.

"Why did you make it so creepy?" he asked.

Peter jumped about a foot in the air. "Sirius?! When you get there?"

"Like a minute ago. You didn't notice?"

"No. You're so quiet sometimes!" Peter accused.

Sirius shrugged. "Habits," he excused. "So what are you doing up?"

Peter slumped. "Couldn't sleep."

Sirius scrutinized his face. "You mean you had a nightmare?" Peter shrugged. "Come on." Sirius started to walk to the door.

"Where are you going?" Peter hissed.

"Well, first to the kitchen. I actually can't sleep and Remus mentioned warm milk helps the last time I complained about it. Then I think the astronomy tower. No one has class this late at night, and even if they did it would be canceled with all this fog." He stopped at the door. "Well, are you coming?"

"We'll get caught," Peter fretted.

"Not with this," Sirius held up the cloak, smirking.

"But that's James'," Peter gushed, walking over. "Won't he be mad?"

"Nah," Sirius waved him off. "I've borrowed it loads of times, no problem. He only gets mad if I use it to hide from him."

"Are you sure?" Peter eyed the cloak.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't be so spineless. Are you a Gryffindor or not?"

Peter flinched and shrunk into himself more. Crap. There he goes again. His Black tongue getting the better of him.

"You have to be nicer to him," James had told him. "He can't afford to lose any more self-esteem. We need to build him up."

"Sorry," Sirius muttered. "I shouldn't have said it like that."

"My dad used to say stuff like that," Peter admitted.

Sirius nodded. "Come on. Maybe the elves will have some cake or something." He threw the cloak over them and lead them out of the common room, into the dark castle.

The house elves had been ecstatic to see them. As always they eagerly pushed food at the boys which made Peter smile a little. Good. If Sirius could just get a hold of his Black tongue, maybe he could help Peter feel better.

Sirius lead them to the astronomy tower where they dug into their treats. Peter started into a rant about how the different desserts compared to his mother's. And how his mum liked baking the muggle way but the wizard way was faster.

"Does your mum bake?" Peter asked in complete innocence.

Sirius scoffed. "Never. She doesn't even cook. We have house elves for that."

"Oh," Peter nodded. "Do they bake?"

"No," Sirius shook his head. "My family doesn't really allow sugary desserts in the house."

Peter gasped. "No desserts?"

Sirius shrugged. "Just the occasional fruit."

"That's awful."

Sirius chuckled. "It's not that bad. Though this," he held up the cake he was eating, "this is nice."

"Mum loves baking," Peter explained needlessly. "Her mum taught her. And she's teaching me. Sometimes we ignore the fact that I'm not supposed to do magic outside of school. It's always nice. The kitchen smells good. It's like it's not home unless she's baking." He paused then asked, "Do you think my dad left because I'm a bad Gryffindor?"

"No," Sirius shook his head. "I think he left because he's a selfish bastard."

Peter gasped. "You're not supposed to say that."

"So," Sirius shrugged. "It's true." Sirius rose and sat on the railing. "That's why people leave. Because they're selfish and don't think about what it would do to their family or their reputation."

"We have no reputation," Peter said.

"Everyone has a reputation," Sirius disagreed. "Some are just smaller."

Peter thought about that for a moment. "Have people left your family before?'

His cousin's face flashed through his mind. "Yes."

Peter sat across from him. "What happened?"

Sirius growled at himself. He should have lied. "You remember my cousin?"

"The blond one, the nice one, or the scary one?"

"The nice one."

"Yes."

"She ran off with a muggle-born and got married," Sirius admitted.

"Oh. Good for her?" Peter tried.

"Good for her, bad for the rest of us," Sirius looked out at the grounds. "She was one of the few people I actually liked in the family. Now she's been burned off the tapestry, and I'll never see her again."

Peter nodded slowly. "What do you mean, 'burned off the tapestry?'"

"You don't have one?" Peter shook his head. "Must be a Black thing. The tapestry is a record of our family tree. If you're burned off you're not part of the family anymore."

"They disowned her? For marrying someone?"

"A muggle born, Peter," Sirius explained. "His blood isn't pure."

"Well, that's dumb," Peter decided.

Sirius shrugged. "It's how my family does things."

"I'm not pureblooded," Peter admitted. "My mum's half-blood. So I got like a quarter muggle in me. And Remus' mum is Muggle. Are you gonna be disowned for being friends with us?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, cause I'm the heir and I'm stuck in that role. I'd have to do something really bad to be disowned."

They were silent for a while.

"Mum cried." Sirius listened to Peter's confession. "I don't think she wanted me to see, but I did. She spent all Christmas trying to make sure I didn't think about it. Trying to make it a good one. Which I guess it was... I couldn't sleep that night. I got up to get something to help me sleep. And I heard her crying in her room." Peter stared at the grounds. "I'm mad at him for that. For leaving Mum. He didn't like me, and that hurt but… I thought he loved Mum. She deserves love. How can you leave someone you love behind?"

Sirius thought about Regulus. And James. It was the closest he'd ever get to loving someone he was sure. Could he ever leave either of them behind? He'd probably have to walk away from James someday. Because James' family were blood traitors. But would he walk away? "I don't know."

"He really is a bastard," Peter declared.

"So's mine," Sirius agreed. "Guess we have that in common."

"Yeah," Peter smiled tentatively at Sirius. "You know what?"

"What?"

"You're not as scary as I thought you were."

"Thank you?" Sirius glanced at Peter then down at their half eaten desserts. "We should finish those."

"Yep," Peter agreed, sitting back on the floor.

Maybe Peter wasn't so bad. A little idiotic at times, sure. Fearful? Definitely. But he could try to be nicer. Try to help him.

After all, they both had bastards for fathers. He'd worked with less before.


	23. True Love

This one is Narcissa centric. I have to admit she's fun to write. Got some more cooking up they just take time between school and work and other things. Enjoy!

* * *

Narcissa Black fell in love when she was 16. He was tall and handsome, with blond hair. He was a prefect and from a good family. Pureblood. Her family would approve.

It didn't take her long to suggest that he start the negotiations. She was the third daughter of one of the branches off the main family tree. Maybe she wasn't the biggest prize in that sense. But she was prepared to be a wife. And she was a connection to the Blacks.

Her own options were limited she knew. There were a few lower Pureblooded families that she could hope for. Possibly her cousin, which... no. Malfoy was who she had her eyes on.

Her sisters were both already betrothed to the Lestrange brothers. Bellatrix seemed pleased while Andromeda was dutiful. Thankfully there was not another brother. Narcissa didn't think she could handle that.

And to marry one of her cousins? She would rather die.

No. It had to be Lucius. He was the only one for her.

It would take time. She had to be smart about it. She couldn't just announce that she was going to marry Lucius. That wasn't how it was done. The parents chose a candidate and then the head of the family had to approve it.

The first step really was to convince Lucius to ask her parents. They had been discussing marriage anyway. Only, Lucius didn't want to ask for permission. His thought was to just wait for Narcissa to be done with school and marry before anyone could reject the idea.

"No," Narcissa had refused. "I can't do that to my family."

So Lucius had compiled and written to his father to ask permission. Of course, Abraxas immediately agreed to the union. Any connection to the Blacks was a good match.

Now to put the idea into her parent's heads. She wouldn't say anything to her father. He was still disappointed in her, in all his girls. For the sin of being girls. He had wanted sons, a possible heir to their family to offer up as a replacement for Sirius. But instead, he had three girls. Good for connecting the family to other Purebloods, but not much else.

No. Her father wouldn't bother to listen to her. Her mother would. Her mother would understand. After all, her first pregnancy had been no mistake.

"Mother?" She asked, one summer's day. She had been waiting for just the right time and Druella was currently looking over swatches for her eldest daughter's wedding to be held that winter over break.

"Yes, dear?"

"I've been thinking about my own wedding," Narcissa admitted.

"Oh?" Druella looked up from her swatches. "We had thought Sirius would be a good match."

"Yes," Narcissa carefully agreed. "But my cousin is still years from being eligible. And there are other choices from school."

"Any that you have in mind?"

"Lucius Malfoy," she tried not to sound too eager. "He's the heir to his own family, Pureblooded, and his family is well connected."

Her mother nodded slowly. "I'll speak to your father about this. That is no guarantee young lady. Keep yourself pure."

"Of course Mother," she agreed, smiling.

It was an accident that she overheard her parents talking about it a few weeks later.

"Narcissa and I were talking about her marriage," Druella told her husband.

"We've already decided," Cygnus tried to end the conversation.

"Narcissa proposed another candidate," Druella ignored his attempt. "Lucius Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" Cygnus question. "She would aim so high?"

"Why not? I did."

Cygnus laughed. "She wouldn't dare do what you did."

"Are you sure?" Druella asked. "She's as ambitious. If we don't give her what she wants she may threaten to bring that shame on our family. I only did because your parents said no."

She could almost hear her father's nod over her boiling blood. " _If_ he proposes I will consider it."

Narcissa stepped away, careful that her anger couldn't be heard. How dare they! Accusing her of such indecency, like a common Mudblood!

"What has you so riled up?" Bellatrix asked later. They were out in the garden. Bellatrix was lounging, Andromeda reading. Narcissa was trying to complete her needlework, but her mind kept drifting back to her parent's conversation and her blood boiled once more.

"It's nothing," she denied, refocusing her mind.

"Ah," Bellatrix sat up. "Is perfect Cissy angry? Has something got under her perfect skin?"

"Leave it alone Bella," Narcissa hissed.

"Is it about your marriage?" Andromeda asked, putting her book down.

"Did they say no?" Bellatrix asked gleefully.

"They haven't decided," Narcissa glared at them, tossing her hair back.

"Cissy," Andromeda sighed. "Do we need to make a Sister's Pack?"

Narcissa and Bellatrix both rolled their eyes at the childhood tradition. They had started it at a young age. They had always treated a Sister's Pack like an Unbreakable Vow.

"Very well," Narcissa agreed. She held out her pinky and ring finger, joining them with her sisters.

"I solemnly swear," they repeated together.

"I overheard them talking about it. Father tried to dismiss the idea, then Mother…" She trailed off, breathing heavy. "She said I might try to do what she did to marry father!"

Bellatrix laughed. "YOU?! Sleeping around?"

"It's not funny!" Narcissa yelled.

"It is," Bellatrix disagreed. "Your wedding will be a white wedding."

"Would you?" Andromeda asked.

"Would I give up my purity?" Narcissa stared at her. "Of course not."

"Even if it was the only way to be with the man you love?"

Narcissa wasn't sure.

By the time school had started up, Abraxas had approached her grandfather, but no answer had come. Narcissa made sure to write to her beloved regularly. She also made sure to distract herself with her studies and Prefect duties.

She kept half an eye on her cousin, running around with his friends. Honestly, she didn't know why he persisted. He would have to drop them eventually and take his place. And it would only become harder the longer he persisted. They were also teaching the heir bad habits.

She caught them a few times sneaking around after lights out. She'd give them a stern talking to and send them back, no need for the teachers to get involved. If the teachers got involved, then the family get involved. And if their Grandfather caught wind of Sirius' activities...

Best to keep him far away.

Sometimes it was just Sirius, and she turned a blind eye. Usually, his friend, Potter, would come looking for him and she would point him in the right direction.

The patrols were rather monotonous aside from that. Depending on the person she would try to lose her partner as soon as possible. Then it would just be a nightly stroll.

One night, like any other, she heard whispers down a corridor. Rolling her eyes she crept close. She stopped only when she recognized one of the voices.

"We'll get caught," Andromeda giggled.

"Just a few more minutes," the other voice begged.

"Teddy," Andromeda sounded cheerfully annoyed. "We're Prefects. We have to set a good example."

Narcissa peeked around the corner. There was her dutiful sister, with a boy. Tonks, she remembered. One of the Hufflepuff Prefects. He was a seventh year, like Andromeda. But he wasn't a Pureblood. She hid behind the corner.

How? How could Andromeda do this?

"Narcissa?" She looked up at her traitorous sister. Andromeda looked at her then back to where she had met up with the _Mudblood_. "How much did you see?"

"Enough," Narcissa pushed past her.

"Narcissa!," Andromeda called, following.

"How could you do this?" Narcissa hissed, not stopping.

"Please slow down," Andromeda hurried behind her.

"You're betrothed. And worse, he's a mudblood!"

"Don't call him that!"

Narcissa rounded on her sister. "I will call him whatever I please. Do you realize what will happen if you get caught?"

"Of course I do," Andromeda admitted. "And it's not going to last forever. It's just a harmless fling. At the end of the year, we'll go our separate ways and I'll marry Rastaban."

"It's just a fling?" Narcissa eyed her.

"Yes. Just a fun little rebellion before I'm locked away forever."

"Ok," Narcissa nodded. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," her sister smiled. "Where's your partner?"

"Trying to find an earring I _dropped,_ " Narcissa flashed both her pearl earrings with a smile.

"You devil," Andromeda laughed.

Time past. Narcissa became a co-conspirator to her sister's fling. If she was paired up with Tonks or her sister, Narcissa would petrol while the couple split off. She waited for word that her Grandfather approved her choice and rolled her eyes at her cousin.

When word finally came that her Grandfather had said no, she held in her tears until she was alone with her sister.

"How could he say no?! It's a perfect match!"

"Grandfather only does what he thinks is best," Andromeda soothed.

"Well, he's wrong!"

"Yes," Andromeda agreed.

'I won't give up,' Lucius wrote her. 'I'll ask him myself. I'll beg him if I have to.'

Christmas break came. Bellatrix got married. She looked beautiful, pleased.

Andromeda spent time with her betrothed and looked miserable.

Narcissa herself whispered plans with her beloved.

"He's very stubborn," Lucius was saying, "But so am I. I'll wear him down."

Narcissa nodded, trying not to get her hopes up. Arcturus' word was law. And she'd never seen him change his mind.

School continued. Andromeda's affair went on. Narcissa threw herself into school and Prefect duties, never noticing the change in her sister.

Andromeda's wedding was to be mid-summer. There were constant letters being sent to the girl containing the details of her wedding. It was another tradition Narcissa hated. She would rather plan her own wedding.

She wanted to be married in the spring, in a garden in France. There would be purple flowers, with little white and light pink ones to complement them. The dress would be a mix of classic and modern, showing off her curves. Her blond hair would be loose and flowing, perhaps in curls.

But that didn't matter. She had no choice in the wedding. She couldn't choose the venue, or the flowers, or the dress. She would be married at home with dark flowers, and an old fashioned dress. The same as her sisters.

There would be small differences in each wedding. Hers, if she married Sirius, would be the most grand. Only the best for the heir. She would be an afterthought, at her own wedding.

But that wasn't the reason she wanted to marry Lucius. If it was just so she could be the main event, anyone would do. No. She honestly loved him.

It was an accident. She had just wanted to see if she could trap him in her web, like so many others. She knew love had nothing to do with marriage, so she never bothered with it. But she enjoyed being able to manipulate the boys.

Lucius was supposed to be another victim. And he understood that. He knew her reputation. But he was fine with it. They were a challenge to each other. She'd work her magic, and he'd resist. Every once in a while he would give in. And she'd give him a small kiss on the cheek.

Slowly, almost noticeably, she won more and more often. And she'd started seeking him out just to spend time with him, no manipulation.

It was Bellatrix's teasing, "Little Cissy's in love," that made her realize the truth. She was in love with Lucius Malfoy.

And she soon found out he loved her back.

Love. It hadn't really been part of her life. But now that it was, she wouldn't go back. But would she be willing to do what her mother did? Could she risk shaming her family?

Summer came too quickly. And she was no closer to her goal. Andromeda looked different. She still seemed resigned to her fate but miserable. Narcissa felt bad for her. Andromeda had never been overly excited for her own marriage. But she was dutiful, willing to please her family at the expense of her own happiness.

At least she was marrying outside the family. She was escaping the thumb of their father to be under the thumb of someone else.

"You're would be suitor is very persistent," Cygnus said at dinner one night.

Narcissa allowed a small smile for Lucius. "He has never been good at taking no for an answer."

"He'll have to learn," her father stated.

"Is there something wrong with him?" She asked.

Cygnus paused his eating and eyed his blonde daughter. "Excuse me?"

She shouldn't have said anything. But she was so tired of not being able to have a say in her future, of not fighting for what she wanted.

"He's Pureblooded," she pointed out. "His family is one of the Sacred 28. He was top of his class and a Slytherin. And he was a Prefect. That's more than you can say for the Lestrange brothers. So why can't I marry him?"

"We've already decided your marriage," He tried to end the conversation.

"To my cousin!" She protested.

"The heir to our family," her father raised his voice. "You get to stay in the greatest wizarding family. Is that not enough for you?"

"No," Narcissa admitted, thinking of the way Lucius would look at her when they were alone. How he could make her laugh so hard she snorted. The moonlight strolls and dancing to silence. Stolen kisses, and glorious smiles. "It's not."

"You spoiled girl," Cygnus roared.

"Maybe. Is it spoiled to hope for love?"

"Yes!" He stood. "You will marry your cousin! It is a great honor reserved for you!"

Narcissa stared at her father. "Then I will be miserable," she promised.

"Inconsequential," he waved her off.

She left dinner and her half-empty plate. What else could she do? She wouldn't let him see her cry. He had no right to that. He was no father. This was no family.

Lucius. He was kind. He could make her laugh. He looked at her like she held the world.

Her child would be able to marry whomever they wished. She swore it.

There was a knock on her door. "Cissa?"

"Come in," Narcissa invited.

Andromeda came in and sat beside her stoic sister. "Are you ok?"

Narcissa crumbled, falling into Andromeda's arms. "Oh, Cissa. It's ok. Shhh. It's ok. I know. I know."

"I think you should marry him," Andromeda admitted once Narcissa calmed a little.

"What?"

Andromeda shrugged. "You love him right?"

"Of course I do."

"Then marry him. Why should we have to suffer because our family's archaic?"

"We?" Narcissa looked at her.

"I… I'm about to break my betrothal."

"What?" Narcissa sat up. "What do you mean?"

"It's not a fling anymore," Andromeda admitted.

Narcissa starred. "Andy… what? How?"

"How did you fall in love with Malfoy?"

Narcissa thought, then nodded. "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. We're meeting at a muggle pub."

"Do you want help packing?"

"I can't ask you to do that," Andromeda shook her head.

"You're not," Narcissa stood.

About an hour later Andromeda was climbing out the window. "You'll be ok?" Narcissa asked.

Andromeda beamed at her. "I'll be fine. I love him."

"And he loves you?"

"Yes."

"Good," Narcissa nodded. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," Andromeda admitted. "Don't take no for an answer. You marry Malfoy."

"I will," Narcissa swore.

There was chaos when Andromeda's disappearance was discovered. The family was called in. Orion and Walburga with their children, Alphard, Bellatrix, and her new husband, and both sets of Grandparents.

"Do you know where she went?" Pollux demanded.

"No," Cygnus admitted, as Druella paced.

"A disaster," Irma moaned. "Such shame on the family."

Druella glared at her mother in law. "We'll find her."

"And if you don't?" Walburga asked, a small triumphant smile.

"We have a marriage contract to keep," Cygnus sighed. "The Lestranges are still expecting a bride. Narcissa will…"

"No."

Everyone turned to stare at her. Narcissa sat primly, ignoring her other grandfather's steely gaze.

"Excuse me?" Cygnus threatened.

Narcissa looked straight at him. "I said no. I will not be marrying Rastaban Lestrange. I have had another proposal. And I will be accepting it."

Cygnus' eyes narrowed. "Malfoy?"

"Yes," Narcissa agreed and stood. "Now if you'll excuse my rudeness, the events of the day have taken my energy. I am going to lay down." She walked past her slacked jawed relatives and her sputtering father. Alphard gave her an approving smile as she left the room.

Soon enough, she knew, they would discover what Andromeda had done. Then her own marriage defiance would seem like nothing.

First, she would take some time after Hogwarts and travel. Then she would return and they'd be married in the spring, in France. They'd be surrounded by friends, family, and purple, white and pink flowers.

Maybe she wouldn't live happily ever after, but at least she was going to marry the man she loved.


End file.
